[Edited for corrections, below]
[Edited again, just for giggles]
Sorry for the long delay between posts. I've been busy writing, working, and doing some rewarding fieldwork.
A reader kindly alerted me to this new development in Combat Dating: a rating service for men, based on the aggregate perceptions of the women they've dated. It's called onLulu
, and it's touted as a kind of "internet security" site that allows women to discover the hidden secrets of the men they date before they get too involved. Seems reasonable enough in our crazy internet-driven world . . . But Ian,
I hear you ask, isn't this just an insidious tool of misandry, an opportunity to expand the already-rampant pre-date cyberstalking today's women indulge in so gleefully?
Good observation. Because yes, this is precisely what Lulu is.
As with most feminist-inspired ways of "protecting" women, not only is this a blatant attempt to manipulate the dating pool and a method of information-sharing across the Female Social Matrix (FSM), it's also a clandestine method of eliminating or stifling competition for a scarce resource (datable males).
[Corrected from earlier version] The really
awful thing about this is that dudes sign themselves up
for the service, ostensibly so they can tout their great reviews to future dates. Of course, that's not what the women are looking for, they want reasons to REJECT a dude, so any man who succumbs to the idea that he's so darn great that his exes will praise him effusively is really crapping in his own hat. His dissatisfied dates can pepper him with hashtags to promote or trash him, giving their highly subjective opinion. Think of it as a way for all of your ex-girlfriends to get together and trash you in a public forum, in front of all of your future girlfriends.
The only kind of men to whom this kind of attention-whoring is going to have a particular allure are the Hopelessly Desperate Gamma
and the Womanizing Wolf Alpha.
The former because he honestly thinks that he'll get decent dating advice and constructive criticism from women, and the latter because for the right kind of dude this is essentially a way to herd pussy in his direction.
Essentially, any man who appears on the site has self-selected himself out of the "intelligent and socially adept" category . . . or is using the site so cynically that the prospect of a negative review isn't damning to him. We all know just how panty-dampening evidence that you're a "bad boy" can be to a certain kind of woman, and a Wolf Alpha would have no compunctions about playing that up to get the flag. Lulu makes that ridiculously easy.
But what normal
guy in their right mind is going to want his future dates to know that much about him? The article linked shows just how brutal the result can be, when one user began listing her date's hashtags to him . . . during their date. He's quoted as calling it "awkward", but somehow I think he was being polite. Any woman who would do such a thing is CLEARLY not LTR potential. She has self-selected into the "untrustworthy" category.
Indeed, finding out a woman has a onLulu.com account should be a very large and clear RED FLAG about the kind of hassle you can expect to have dating her.
Busting her publicly and nastily for such tactics is recommended. If she has that kind of temerity, punish her for the blatant disrespect she clearly has for all masculinity. We're not the ones who coined the term "combat dating", after all.
The men on Lulu are rated on the traditional 10-point scale, in this case wildly
subjective. The exact nature of the algorithm Lulu uses to "rate" the men is a secret, according to the article, and men can add their own comments and hashtags to the site . . . but those are not
factored into the rating. Once again . . . men don't count.
Now, just for a moment, imagine turning this around . . .
the (currently fictitious) information-sharing network about women! Put up your ex-girlfriend, fill out her profile, and let the world know if she's batshit nuts, overly hypergamous, or merely a lousy lay! Allow her other exes to pile on by adding hashtags like:
You get the picture.
Turn it around and put women
on the, ahem, pedestal, and suddenly the whole idea looks stragely "misogynistic". The outcry from wounded women would be audible across the continent as the FSM reacted to the site. Because when it comes to accountability and holding themselves to a higher standard, a case can be made that women in aggregate tend to flee such awkward moments.
Make your own observations and draw your own conclusions about that, of course. Alexandra Chong,
founder of Lulu, has wittingly or unwittingly opened her "private network" to innumerable slander lawsuits, I'd say. She points out that any man can have his profile removed at any time with a simple email.
Supposedly, she's merely trying to "unleash the value of girl talk and to empower girls to make smarter decisions on topics ranging from relationships to beauty and health.". Just a little harmless gossipy grlpower, but you can bet the focus isn't on lip gloss. It's on trashing men in a public setting for their own amusement and supposed edification. Ms, Chong just wants to give the ladies a chance rat out the losers.
Of course, she does so without any hint of consideration for the men in question. Just wait until the first heartsick Omega lights himself on fire because of a bad date review, and I think this concept will get a serious re-think.
My advice: every man who reads this should hesitate completely before considering putting his profile on the site, and those who have started accounts should have them immediately removed.
The rest of us should just saturate the site with false information and such until it becomes useless - or, merely a tool of disinformation that could add to your Game. Suggested responses if a woman asks if you have a Lulu account: "So, you're one of those stalker types?"
as you back away slowly. "Yes, and three quarters of those reviews are ones I wrote through sockpuppets. Try to figure out which ones are mine."
Leave sadly shaking your head. "No. I have more self-respect than that. And if you have an onLulu.com account, that's a dealbreaker." "What, are you in High School or something? I only date big girls. Seeya."
Leave in disgust. "I have three. Which one did you see?" Every man should beware of a dude who has an account on the site.
He's either a total Alpha player or a total Gamma loser. Either way, he's likely not to be trusted. So spread the word, and if you do have an account, pull the freakin' plug soonest.
Registering for onLulu.com is also likely bad for your career. Facebook and Twitter accounts are now fair game for employers to search, among other services. Do you want your new boss hearing about how you leave the toilet seat up and are "#afraidtocommit"? No, of course not. That's like bringing your ex along on your job interview.
Not only does it pose a threat to the professional ambitions and reputations of those misguided men who consent to allow themselves to be brutalized - would you really
hire a man who was willing to let his exes savage him in public like that? - it denigrates all men.
The whole purpose
of the site is to find reasons to reject guys, not accept them. When you play along with something like that, you might as well be wearing a Gammarabbit t-shirt and a big fat red L on your forehead.
This kind of blatant, misandrist, anti-male website needs to be countered on general principal. Or met in kind. So spread the word, and don't let this misandrist BS thrive.
(What other hashtags would you
like to see on Mumu.com?)
LATE ADDITION: I was curious what the response was to this site over at Huffpo, the progressive bastion, and was relieved to see that most of the comments were decidedly negative, and not all from disgusted men. Check it out if you can stand the scalzied perspective.
But if you needed any additional reason to shun this "service", here it is from the female progressive commentor's mouth:
"Guys. If any female that you are with or potentially want to be with uses this app, it will end badly. She is actually 12 and this is the 2013 version of passing a note in homeroom."
So . . . onLulu.com account = immature female flakiness AND attention whoring, Gamma male style.
You should not date any woman who has an account or reviewed a man there . . . and if you find out one does, make sure that all of your dude-friends know to steer clear. And make sure all of your female friends know just how tacky you think this kind of blanket misandrist character assassination is.