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Bars Are a Good Place to Meet Guys: Part 2

March 24, 2012
Continued from Part 1.

So if you agree that bars are a reasonably good place to meet men, which ones should you go to? Onviously you will want to hang out in (a) the kind of places that the kind of men you want to meet are most likely to be, and (b) places that you enjoy being. Thankfully, these two criteria will normally point you in the same direction. It is only within these criteria that you should apply the suggestions below:
  1. Avoid extremely loud places, so that you can have a conversation and get to know the guys a little better than you would otherwise. I suggest places with a rooftop or outdoor section.
  2. Try to go to places where everyone is standing up rather than sitting down at individual tables. This facilitates interactions.
  3. Go to places with activities or things going on: beer-pong, go-go dancers, shuffleboard, etc. It is much easier and less awkward for a guy to ask a girl "is that your friend on the mechanical bull?" than to walk up and just introduce himself.
  4. Go to crowded places. Crowded places encourage proximity, which translates to more interactions and opportunities for guys to approach you. I used to go to this bar that was always packed from end to end, to the point that you could barely walk around. It was a pain in the ass to order a drink, but it was incredibly easy to talk to women because we were literally stepping on each others' toes.
However, far more important than where you go out, is when you go out. If you leave the bar by 11:00 pm or midnight (in the United States), you automatically filter out 90 % of the men who are interested in sex alone. These men usually need alcohol to approach you; and even the ones that don't know that most girls won't be able to overcome the social stigma associated with taking them home until they are four or five drinks deep. So they aren't going to make advances until later in the night. Actually, a lot of them won't even arrive until later in the night, for that very same reason.

This phenomenon isn't entirely a matter of the promiscuous people being in bars late and the prude people leaving early. Like most things, it isn't that black and white. The same guy who might ask for your number sober at 9:00 pm will take you far less seriously if you accept his drunken approach at midnight, in the same way that you will take him less seriously for being drunk. As the night progresses, and so does intoxication; men and women alike change their motivations and expectations.

It isn't easy to walk out early. I am sure a lot of girls (perhaps most) rarely get hit on until after midnight, and that kind of affirmation can be a hard thing to turn your back on. I could even see how  in some ways it would be helpful to receive that attention; it could help realize that men are interested in you. But if your main concern is filtering the good attention from the bad, leaving early is the best way to maximize your chances of meeting someone worthwhile in a bar.

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