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Female Game for Girls in Their Teens

November 28, 2012
[This is the first of a three-part series that describes how to focus your dating efforts in your teens, twenties and thirties. There are links below the post to the other two parts.]

Female game consists of three parts or stages:
  1. Making yourself as attractive as possible
  2. Making yourself approachable
  3. Filtering out the men that just want to have sex with you from the men that want to date you
While these general stages apply to all women, a woman's age, experience and eligibility should factor heavily into her approach to dating if she wants to eventually find a man to settle down with. Therefore, various aspects of these three stages - or the components of each one - are more or less important at different times in a woman's life.

Girls in their teens should be mainly focused on stages 1 and 2, and should also focus on preparing for their dating prime - which will come in their 20s. This can be done in the following ways:

  • Realize that having the upper hand won't last. Men in their teens are less confident than girls in their teens, and they think less about the opposite sex. The kind of cunning that makes men difficult to manage in their 20s and 30s is not something that many guys in their teens have developed yet (an exception may be a guy in his late teens with older brothers). A few will be naturally successful with women, but in general guys your age will not know how to attract you. This will give you the upper hand in most cases, but you should realize that this advantage will not last. Curb your ego accordingly.
  • Don't date exclusively. While teenage relationships might seem important at the time, they will seem petty in five years, and pointless in ten. Your interactions with men in your teens should be fun learning experiences, but nothing deeper than that. The guys you date will change so much in the coming years that you can almost be sure that no teenage relationship will end in marriage.
  • Develop your look. Since you aren't trying to lure in a husband yet, you can afford to fuck up more with your appearance. Use that leeway to your advantage: now is the time to grow comfortable wearing different kinds of clothes, try different hairstyles, and take fashion risks in order to learn and eventually settle on your best look.
  • Stay a virgin. Wait until you are older and more experienced with life before having sex. There is simply no need to start accumulating sexual partners and STDs now. The fact that all the cool girls are doing it just means that they won't be the cool girls ten years from now; they'll be sluts. If you are so horny that you can't control yourself physically, masturbate.
  • Avoid older men. By older men I mean men in their 20s and 30s (or older). You are not experienced or confident enough to be attractive to these men on a personal level yet. The ones that show an interest in you only want sex. And they are dangerous because they probably know how to manipulate you emotionally in order to get it. Stay as far away from them as you can, no matter how attractive they are, or how exciting it is to be with someone older. The time for that will come.
  • Observe, Observe, Observe. Take all of the energy you would spend on frivlous, Taylor-Swift-style relationships, and pour it instead into observation. Notice how men act and what they respond to in women. Pay attention to the differences between you and them, since these will only become more pronounced with age. Ignore the advice of your girlfriends (which is probably full of either projection or feminism) and instead pay attention to what men do.
  • Be aware of your influences. You will watch countless romantic comedies or read literature that idealizes relationships. Recognize that, although sometimes these have elements of truth in them, they are not based in reality. You will develop unreal expectations if you peg them to fictional characters. If you parents say you shouldn't watch something because it is trash, trust them. Put a strong emphasis on what you observe in real life, not what you consume for entertainment.
  • Develop your taste. As you observe guys, try to recognize what it is that you find attractive about the men you are drawn to. By the time you are twenty, you should have a rough idea of the things you like in a man: how important is confidence to you? how much does a guy's looks matter? do you want someone passionate or someone responsible? etc. Notice especially that many attractive qualities are often mutually exclusive (e.g. ambition and easygoing-ness, responsibility and spontaneity, or strength and sensitivity).
  • Challenge yourself daily. Whether you do this by willingly embracing social awkwardness,  or by starting an exercise routine, or by working to correct or implement personal habits, you should be always pushing yourself a little bit - improving your abilities, knowledge, and expanding your comfort zone.
  • Resist the pressure to be masculine. Your parents, teachers and peers will undoubtedly tell you that your personal success hinges on your grades, your degrees, your career and your accomplishments. No one is going to tell you (the truth) that, in the eyes of men, your value as a woman is much more a function of how much they enjoy experiencing you: seeing you, talking to you, playing with you, relaxing with you, enjoying your energy and openness, and loving you - physically and emotionally. So when you are pressured to get an advanced degree, ask yourself "is this what I genuinely want? will this make me happy?"
  • Develop your female friendships. Many women pour all of their efforts into relationships with men. This is understandable at some ages, but it often comes at the expense of female friendships. By fostering female friendships in your teens, you will strengthen them so that they will last through the times when you devote everything to your boyfriend. Then you will still have their support when he turns out to be an asshole, or when you need a social circle through which to meet new guys, or when you need someone to confide in.

In your teens you should be laying a solid foundation of knowledge about the opposite sex, while practicing self-restraint in the face of social pressures to do otherwise. The overarching themes are preparation and patience.

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