I've remained friends with some girls that I've slept with - partially because I like them and partially because they aren't smart enough or motivated enough to cut me off
. On a number of occasions these girls have attempted to use me to make the new guy that they like jealous. Normally this involves them taking pictures with me (in which they get abnormally close so that the dude thinks I like her) and then posting them on Facebook. It has also involved them asking me to show up with them where they know the guy that they like will be, or else flirting with me in in front of him when we are out. Besides being somewhat pathetic, this strategy is also ineffective.
If I see a girl flirting with another guy, I will respond in one of three ways, depending on how interested in her I am:
- If I am really interested in her, I will either be disappointed and give up, or ignore what I saw and give it my best shot with her later on (depending on how convinced I am that I can trump the guy she is flirting with).
- If I am kind of interested in her, but not completely, I won't care.
- If I am not interested in her, I won't notice.
A lot of women get insanely jealous when a guy they like is showing interest in another girl. This partially explains why they think it will work on men
. However, even men get somewhat jealous when a girl that they like is giving attention to another guy - so it isn't purely a female phenomenon. Here is the thing: if you are in a situation in which you feel the need to make a guy like you more - that is, a situation in which he isn't showing as much interest as you'd like, or he is out of your league
- then there is zero chance that he will respond to your attempts at making him jealous. The jealousy you feel when he shows interest to other girls is facilitated by your desire for him; it cannot exist (and much less, be created) in a situation in which you like him more than he likes you.