"That woman was sexy...Out of your league? Son. Let women figure out why they won't screw you, don't do it for them."Of course the advice in this specific instance is about sex and women. But encapsulated in his words is a lesson that many people - men and women - painfully need to learn. Regardless of how bad your situation in life is, you should always hold your head high and illustrate or describe your personal situation in the best light possible. There is simply never a need, under any circumstances, to highlight the negative aspects of your life. There will always be external factors working against you - biology, genetics, social stigmas, gossip, etc. You don't need to contribute to them. Never tell a man why he shouldn't want to date you.
I've been dumbfounded at some of the shit women tell me on dates. It reflects so poorly on them, yet they tell it to me voluntarily. I get the impression that they are trying to be "candid" or "unfiltered," but that intention is only appropriate for people who have nothing in their life that needs to be filtered.
Although there are some situations in which it is necessary to do so, as a rule you should never voluntarily talk about or even mention any of the following:
- Guys that have broken up with you, or any failed relationships
- Difficulties you have finding a guy
- How much it sucks being single
- That you have been raped or physically abused
- Any bad life experiences you've had (or are having)
- Family drama (e.g. that your mother despises your father's parents)
- Your lack of a social life
- Your dissatisfaction with your current life situation
- Your struggles with depression, a disability, or being a single mother
- How much you hate your job
It isn't as if all negative comments need to be purged from your conversation. It is fine to mention small things, like "God, it's so frustrating; the seats of my BMW are taking sooo long to break in..." or "Argh! I hate this cell phone, it is constantly auto-updating." While these kinds of comments might make you seem frivolous, it is better that these are the problems on your mind, rather than your upcoming psychiatric exam or how you can't possibly pay the rent next month. When it comes to big things, keep your mouth shut about anything negative.
If you have serious issues that you think your boyfriend should probably know about, like a serious STD or an alcoholic father, you can and probably should tell him about them - eventually. Bring up the bad things only after he's had a chance to see the positive aspects of your life that outweigh them.