~ archived since 2018 ~

We Have a Shared Responsibility

May 19, 2012
I was reminded recently of a comment that I once heard a radio DJ make after he played the Destiny's Child song Independent Woman. The song is a kind of self-purported anthem for female independence, and one verse goes like this:
Question, tell me, how do you feel about this?
Try to control me boy you get dismissed
Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills
Always 50-50 in relationships
As the song faded out, the DJ scoffed and said something along the lines of "Always 50-50 in relationships? Clearly these girls have never been married, because if it isn't 100-100 in a relationship, sorry, but it isn't going to work." That comment has always stuck with me.

Because most of the posts I write are about the things women should do to please and attract men, readers might get the impression that I think relationships should consist entirely of a woman constantly working to attract and please her boyfriend or husband. While I do think that a woman needs to constantly work to do so, I also believe that a man has the equally onerous obligation of constantly attracting, protecting and providing for his woman. A man should pour as much energy into his efforts as his woman pours into hers. As the radio DJ pointed out, both parties need to be giving 100 % if they want it to work.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), this blog is not the correct forum for giving men advice about how to make their efforts, which is why it might give some readers an impression of one-sidedness; but I definitely do not believe relationships are a one-way street.

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