I can recall times where I was being extremely BP (pre-TRP days) and I thought I was being alpha or manly. I wasn't looking at myself objectively or realistically, I was viewing myself with rose-colored glasses. Also, there are times where I act as if things aren't as bad as they truly are. I lie to myself about how good my life is. Not to say there aren't good and great parts. But, oftentimes I catch myself accepting meritocracy from myself and pretending that's okay. Or accepting my lot in life, letting people walk all over me. I want to know how I can see the truth, not some mental fantasy I've constructed.