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I got #metoo'd at work. (Never be friendly to a female at work)

Reddit View
July 13, 2018

So today was a fucking shit show.

At 930am I was brought into hr, greeted with a stern face and the door was shut. I was completely confused about what was happening, and in complete shock about the accusations that were about to be said to me.

I recently got a promotion to a new department and have been getting trained by a younger female. In the 3 days of training I was attempting to build a work relationship as she would be working directly with me. I was learning about her life, hobbies, passions, and sharing about mine. During this time I didn't feel as if any of our conversations were rude, harassing, or sexual.

Today in the morning she went to hr accusing me of sexual and verbal harassment by doing the following.

  • asking if she was single
  • choose to train in a meeting room and closing the door instead of training at her desk
  • asking her what she's doing during the weekend
  • making reference to a friend's bad tattoo on her hip

I was not written up, but my boss, director, and hr managers are all aware of the situation and I am no longer allowed to talk with her. (I have a team of 3)

I can't believe this. My reputation is screwed, I went to my boss and he understands my side of the story and hr agrees that she may have been over sensitive and that I didn't intend to do this. I would like to soon apply to a government job that does a VERY thorough back ground check and will be asking my managers about stuff like this. SHIT.

I have learned a HUGE lesson to NEVER be friends with females at work. NEVER expect people to be friendly and to never talk about anything other than business with a female.

Hear my warning gents. I am not a douche, I am very well respected in the workplace and didn't think this would ever happen to me! Be careful out there.

Post Information
Title I got #metoo'd at work. (Never be friendly to a female at work)
Author Threwuhway
Upvotes 117
Comments 103
Date 13 July 2018 11:54 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

[–]Endorsed Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil68 points69 points  (14 children) | Copy

Should have just taken a bunch of gay pics with your mate and claimed to be gay. Show them to your boss and say that you couldn't of been hitting on her cuz ur a homo.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best advice from our lord and savior GayLubeOil. Seriously, this was the best way to disarm the situation.

[–]blister3331 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is my go to if shit ever hits the fan

[–]RememberWhenEye1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would go with Trans, they're a protected class. That'll put her in the hr chair for not being sensitive to your conversational needs.

[–][deleted] 94 points95 points  (12 children) | Copy

While I don't want to pile on and just shit on you for the sake of shitting on you, I want to make it clear that this is completely and totally your fault. The consequences of your actions aren't all that terrible at the moment, and you're lucky in that regard. Overall, it's a very teachable moment for you, and you seem like you're in a period of transition and self-improvement, so take it on as a part of that and learn the lessons that it has to offer.

With that having been said, I'm going to offer some commentary on various things you've said in your post here and go from there. I can tell that you don't know any better, and I can tell that you're trying to learn, so I'm going to try to offer some feedback that can help you, even if it may come across as a bit harsh.

In the 3 days of training I was attempting to build a work relationship as she would be working directly with me. I was learning about her life, hobbies, passions, and sharing about mine.

From the perspective of mindset, this was your initial mistake. You should not be looking to have "work relationships" with women at your job.

During this time I didn't feel as if any of our conversations were rude, harassing, or sexual.

Your sense of professionalism is off, and you're a walking liability because of it. You need to get your head out of your ass and stop with this idea that your job is social hour to mix it up with young women.

And for what it's worth, this is the core idea behind the concept that you shouldn't shit where you eat.

asking if she was single

I've looked through your post history, and you need to understand that your SMV is a key part of the issue here. For example, you're talking about only being able to pull fat 3s on dating apps not very long ago and how you've only recently started getting your shit together.

I'm not shitting on you for having a low SMV. What I'm getting at is that the rules are different for low-SMV men. As soon as you start asking her shit like if she's single, the alarm bells are going to go off, and she will be (for better or worse) creeped out.

choose to train in a meeting room and closing the door instead of training at her desk

This is a tremendously, over-the-top, horrendous blunder to such a degree that I can't see how you could possibly have made it to a position of being in charge of other people in any company anywhere.

Do not set up meetings where you're alone with a woman with the door closed. I can't believe this has to be said, and I can't imagine what would have went through your head to make you think that this was a good idea.

asking her what she's doing during the weekend

This extends the above theme of creeping her out. Whether it's right or wrong, whether you agree or disagree, whether anyone thinks things should be different, you were creeping her out tremendously, and I can see why. You need to stay in your lane at work, particularly if you have a low SMV.

making reference to a friend's bad tattoo on her hip

I don't even know what to say about this. What possessed you to bring that up or think that it was appropriate for work, let alone with a younger woman who you were working with regularly?

My reputation is screwed, I went to my boss and he understands my side of the story and hr agrees that she may have been over sensitive and that I didn't intend to do this.

You need to understand that they're just telling you these things to get you to shut up and go on about your business and leave them alone. There's about a 95 percent chance that they both also think you were being creepy. You're no longer allowed to talk to her because, to them and to the company, you're a walking lawsuit waiting to happen.

Note that even though you "didn't intend to do this," you also didn't intend to cover your ass and keep a sense of professionalism at work, which is one of your two main problems here (the second being your low SMV).

I want to point out that, if you had a higher SMV, I still would have recommended against this low of a level of professionalism that you've described having here.

I have learned a HUGE lesson to NEVER be friends with females at work. NEVER expect people to be friendly and to never talk about anything other than business with a female.

If you want to play the game, then you should learn to be good at the game. As an example, you shouldn't call them "females" here. That's particularly politically incorrect.

Mind you that they are females and that "females" as a noun is not demeaning in the least bit, but they don't know that and will take offense because that's what they've been trained to do.

Hear my warning gents. I am not a douche, I am very well respected in the workplace and didn't think this would ever happen to me! Be careful out there.

If you were a douche, then there would have been less of a chance for her to go to HR. Not being a douche is not a virtue. Nobody gives a shit how well-respected you are. Your lack of SMV and professionalism means that you're pretty worthless in the grand scheme of things to that company. Luckily, both of those can be fixed with some effort, and you seem like you're motivated to do something about it.

Best of luck.

[–]Andorli23 points24 points  (2 children) | Copy

You are spot on, his post in the beginning paints a picture where he is totally innocent and friendly and she is a bitch trying to ruin him, but once you read accusations then you see that he is an idiot. Why would you ask her if she is single? How is that your business? Why close the door to meeting room and stay alone? I have a feeling that OP was lowkey hitting on her but since he is a beta she got creeped out by his awkward advances and reported to HR. Next time think with your head not your dick. And if you still don't have your shit together in terms of SMV don't attempt shit like this especially at work.

Edit : reviewed OP's post history and Jesus Christ its entertaining. Definitely his fault.

[–]showerdudes9 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Hes trying to convince himself he was just “friendly”. He knows exactly what he was trying to do.

[–]Andorli2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP is as always fake and gay.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gold. Take this reply to heart.

[–]treefortknox 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

the rules are different for low-SMV men.

I remember when the #metoo thing started getting big, people were pointing out that a lot of the guys getting acused would not have had they been good looking. Is this essentially what's going on with the OP? (in other words would Chad T have gotten this treatment at work?)

[–]mrrooftops1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. It creeps the woman out because it shows her (she believes) that the man doesn't know his SMV place, therefore his boundaries and expectations are most likely super out of whack. It doesn't matter whether YOU think she isn't attractive enough to think this way, she will and she will only like the well calibrated and naturally congruent validation from a high SMV guy... if at all. Remember, in the context of her WHOLE LIFE'S interactions with low SMV Beta, Gamma, Incel, Nice Guys, etc men, she is probably highly sensitized to their true intent and hamfisted or downright abusive response to her denial.

[–]_MysticFox0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Thank you very much for this write-up. Guys like me don’t have enough reference experience to understand these things. My takeaway is that you should always interact with them publicly (closed room incident) and never talk negatively about something (“bad” tattoo)

doing this weekend

I don’t see an issue with this? I thought activities were a safe zone. Like “got anything planned for the holidays?”

to get you to shut up

Unreal. I never considered the possibility of people just telling you yes so you’d fuck off, especially your boss.

Would the best thing to do in this instance literally be what GLO said and use the gay card?

[–]chachaChad3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

You still don't fucking get it. No, you don't make shit up to tell her. You just don't fucking tell her or any other woman at work about your personal life and you don't pry into theirs. Keep it to your fucking self and do you fucking job. Work is not a dating site. Not shitting where you eat is the 2nd rule of TRP after lifting for a reason.

You're not fooling anyone with the "just trying to be friends" routine except maybe yourself. Women can smell Billy Beta trying to friend their way into their pants from a mile away.

You fucked up and you got what you deserved but it sounds like you're having a hard time taking responsibility for it. No matter. You're going to keep fucking up like this with increasing consequences until you learn it for real.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Hey man. I'm going to reply to this and the other comment you made to chachaChad below.

My takeaway is that you should always interact with them publicly (closed room incident)

The closed room issue is this: If you purposefully go out of your way to be alone in a room with the door shut with a woman, then you're creating a situation where it will seem credible if she wants to hit you with some kind of sexual harassment situation. As a general rule, just don't be alone with a woman at work with the door shut to help avoid that. It's that simple.

and never talk negatively about something (“bad” tattoo)

Talking about how you don't like a woman's hip tattoo is unprofessional on a few different levels. It's not just about it being negative; it's borderline sexual, and there's just no reason to be talking about it.

I don’t see an issue with this? I thought activities were a safe zone. Like “got anything planned for the holidays?”

By itself as an isolated incident, it probably wouldn't be such a big deal. If it was paired with asking if she's single, the whole being alone with her and closing the door thing, etc., then it's clear that he's trying to flirt and hit on her.

Would the best thing to do in this instance literally be what GLO said and use the gay card?

I think OP's best line of action is to find a new job ASAP. If he was really on his game, he would have been putting out feelers and applying the whole time, and maybe he was, so he should take advantage of that and move on.

If you keep things too professional, you’ll never make connections or be the charismatic alpha. You’ll be the autist who takes his work too seriously

If you're high-SMV, then it doesn't matter if you're too professional or not. You'll be respected regardless. If you're low-SMV, then your options are much more limited.

In OP's case, he was being very unprofessional with how he went at this woman. He was clearly trying to flirt, trying to hit on her, isolating her, etc.

I hope that helps you out.

[–]_MysticFox 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks man. I’ve gotta get a real job in 2-3 years and I don’t wanna fuck the shit up. I’m not too great with people so I try to learn as much as I can.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know that it might seem complicated, but in all honesty, if you just show up, do your job, have good hygiene and don't try to shit where you eat (see OP), then you won't run into any problems with this type of thing 99 percent of the time regardless of your SMV.

Good luck!

[–]Borsao6639 points40 points  (6 children) | Copy

Law 19: Know Who You’re Dealing with – Do Not Offend the Wrong Person

There are many different kinds of people in the world, and you can never assume that everyone will react to your strategies in the same way. Deceive or outmaneuver some people and they will spend the rest of their lives seeking revenge. They are wolves in lambs' clothing. Choose your victims and opponents carefully. Never offend or deceive the wrong person!

[–]voxiqs4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

A this the 48 laws of power? I feel like I need to go back and reread that after years of psychology books and being able to now read micro expressions body language well

What gets me as the cunts that mirror my frame and then start playing hard to get

[–]Borsao660 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Dr_Awesum0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Where did you learn to read micro expressions from? It's something I've wanted to look into for a while now. Same with body language. Got any tips for them or places to learn about them?

[–]hash_bang221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What Every BODY is Saying by Joe Navarro. Great read for this kind of thing. He was an FBI interrogator for many years (or CIA? Can't remember) and wrote this book about body language and deception.

[–]voxiqs1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The like switch, google, what everybody is saying. Years of practice and staring people in the eye .It took time for it to come naturally

[–]Losingsteamfast52 points53 points  (9 children) | Copy

I have learned a HUGE lesson to NEVER be friends with females at work.

Or maybe dont ask the girl you met an hour ago if shes single, what shes doing this weekend, then tell her where you like girls to have tattoos while in a closed door room.

You can thank god she was a teammate and not a subordinate.

[–]this_weeks_account26 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy

Building rapport and having people in your “circle of trust” is massive for professional advancement. It’s like a game of Big Brother almost.

He aligned with the wrong person, but I believe OP when he says he was just trying to build rapport, which there is nothing wrong with.

Fuck that girl, man.

[–]Losingsteamfast21 points22 points  (5 children) | Copy

No he was flirting. Building professional rapport is where are you from? How long have you lived here? How long have you been with the company? NOT are you single? What are you doing this weekend? I dont like girls with hip tattoos. And the icing on the retard cake is he invited her to a conference room and closed the door.

He aligned with the wrong person

He aligned himself with stupidity

[–]Andorli2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't, even if he was its awkward as fuck. I am a dude and I would be weirded out if someone I met an hour ago at my work started asking me about my personal life. Fuck off, none of your business. OP seems a bit socially retarded or he actually hoped for something to happen but got reported and now he is bitching on asktrp. Women can be horrible, but never underestimate how much worse betas can be.

[–]blister3330 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yea I don’t like telling people personal stuff at work besides the basics

[–]FearGarbhArMait58 points59 points  (19 children) | Copy

She did it because she is smarter than you. You are a threat to her advancement. Your reputation is too serious which allowed her to ruin you in one move. I am not serious at work. Whenever anything is brought up to me, it turns into. Oh feargarbharmait is just being his crazy self and meant no harm by it. My competency is why I am respected, my attitude/demanor is idgaf.

Freedom trumps kiss ass progression.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (15 children) | Copy

honestly not sure exactly what you said here but you’ve got something to say so if you can clarify yeh...

[–]FearGarbhArMait14 points15 points  (14 children) | Copy

She is smarter than you.

She saw you as a professional threat and took a shot. Hit her target now you are no longer a threat.

Your reputation was your downfall, you are either too serious or too work place professional.

My reputation is lax and heavy idgaf. The reason I keep my career is I am highly comptent. They need my skill set.

[–]this_weeks_account25 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You’re a smart man. No joke.

[–]_MysticFox 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy

Don’t be serious at work, and do your work well. That’s what I hear. My only problem is that I thought being serious was part of being stoic/cool

[–]FearGarbhArMait0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

You set everyone elses expectations of you with your actions. So yeah set a bar that isn't natural for you and see what happens. Reputation is the most important thing you own, the only thing worse than no reputation or bad reputation, is a reputation you can't maintain all the time. So be very good at what you do, behave at the bar you want to be judged from.

[–]_MysticFox 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy the work, but act like a retard?

[–]FearGarbhArMait0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Be comptent and set a bar that you can manage. This isn't black and white extremes. I can get away with a lot more than majority of my peers, I can also impress everyone with ease because I have a very manageable reputation.

[–]_MysticFox 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

I’m asking as far as personality, what do you do

[–]FearGarbhArMait0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I flirt with a lot of women, I roast/get into spit matches with the other guys, I don't kiss ass, I call out fuck ups no matter who's, I dont take shit, I do my job and I am very fucking good at it.

When headquarters is here, I stop cursing. I am very professional and get complimented on the work that they have heard of. For everyone I work with daily, I am my normal self. I adapt to the circumstances however I am 90% of the time my base self. This also makes my serious tone deathly serious and makes my honest insults playful. I am genuinely me.

[–]JW_20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

What field are you in?

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Now you’re acting like a retard who cant read. Quit exaggerating.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

excellent. especially the part about being too serious a lot of people don’t get the downfall in that.

I agree, and in my own career I make sure that I am damn good at what I am doing and popular with as many other people as possible too.

I don’t get the part where you said “ hit her target now.” what is that

[–]Red902102 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

He is saying she took aim at him with her weapon (HR) and it was effective (hit the target) cause now he is not a threat.

[–]voxiqs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He’s a genius but couldn’t figure that out...

[–]kimchi-22 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

This, we give too much credit to women, women are serpents who're just taking advantage of the privileged status they have over men, the real culprit of the problem are the BP males, specifically the males who have daughters/sisters and have a raging "must protect the female" instinct. They're the ones who enable/empower women and side with them.

[–]FearGarbhArMait7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Too assume women are not machiavellian in nature is to be naive. Women survive off of manipulation, men survive off of merit.

[–]voxiqs31 points32 points  (3 children) | Copy

Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with some of you guys.

You need to turn these switches off when you go to work

Rule #1 never be alone with a female at work, especially someone under you.

Rule #2 don’t fucking ask them if they are single you creepy fuck

[–]this_weeks_account210 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Rule #1 is the Mike Pence rule. He’s a smart dude.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Women have total power in the workplace at this point. there is only one way to survive, ONLY ONE mofos. make sure other people really like you. it will definitely lessen the chance of you getting accused of unicorn shit that you know didn’t happen but which will help them get ahead at your expense.

I lived through it and learned the hard way.

[–]blister3331 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I’d also say be significantly better at your job although that may not always help

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You are exactly right and I left that out as an assumed quality. But you are exactly right you got to be Ace @ what you do

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

If a gay dude did all this shit when you were tasked with training him at work there is no way you would be thinking he's just a nice fella making conversation with you. Stop hamstering this shit.

The problem is you don't know what the fuck you are doing. You're a fucking child playing with a chemistry set and after the mother blew up in your face you're on the internet posting the firm conviction that you understand chemicals now and they aren't to be trusted.

You caused this and it was doing stuff that was predictably ill advised and stupid, and you're going to do it again if you don't stop sabotaging your own learning by lying to yourself.

[–]blister33317 points18 points  (13 children) | Copy

Did you really ask if she was single?

[–]okuli8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Recently we had lunch with colleagues and there was a girl who I never met before (works at different department), she asked me if I was single, and after what period of time do I think it's ok to move in with a girlfriend. If I asked woman that kind of questions it'd be a harassment.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wait a sec, are you implying women are not only physically different but also have different expectations and standards with larger society?

Fuck man, game changer. Is there a subreddit that deals with any issues that might stem from this sort of thing? It would probably have a name that sort of metaphorically alludes to taking something that changes your perception of how you thought realty was? Maybe something from a movie about that.

Guess we'll have to just make due with the ole' red pill here until that subreddit is made.

[–]Threwuhway 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy

It wasn't a straight out question, it was along the lines of inquiring what she likes do outside of work, if she has a boyfriend she hangs out with etc.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

you have definitely been victimized but you made a little mistake gave her leverage.

we don’t have to tell you that you need to find another job ASAP. your HR will give you a glowing recommendation when references for you because they don’t want a shit storm to start there if she makes further allegations against you. apply like hell.

you have absolutely no chance of advancement or building alliances where you are now. everybody is going to act really nice to you but there is a ticking time bomb that they are all aware of and your presence is responsible for it. it is entirely unfair but it is the way it is.

[–]Andorli4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

Lol, so you basically steered conversation in a way where you could ask her if she has a boyfriend under pretence of her leisure time. Tell me again how you were not hitting on her at all amd you were "just being friendly". The least you can do is be honest with yourself and admit that you tried to flirt but since you are shit at it and your smv is low it came of creepy and you got reported. This situation is on you completely. I have a lot of female coworkers and have great relationship with most. You know why? Because I don't fucking ask if they are single and dont give a shit about their weekend.

[–]_MysticFox 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy

Would it have been better to say something along the lines of “yeah what are some of the things to do around town? Do you do any of those when you’re off work?”

[–]Andorli2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

No, it is not ok, it implies interest in her personal shit. Basically if you are low SMV don't ask anything personal. It is fine to talk about weather, places, events and that should be enough to build rapport.

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you’re low smv dont say shit. Shut up and lift.

[–]voxiqs0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Or just say good morning every day and focus on work. People appreciate the small stuff

[–]JordanRedfort32 points33 points  (1 child) | Copy

You deserved it.

Don’t hit me with any of this #metoo bullshit. You fucking got what you deserved. You’re a low-value blue-pilled male who fucks chubby 3/10s and plays Overwatch, and you’re swallowing the pill now that your LTR expired. You stepped out of line and this bitch took advantage of that for her own personal gain.

You don’t have to be redpilled to know that women in the workplace are sensitive little snowflakes. If you’re a low SMV man, avoid them or you run the risk of getting reported to HR. If you’re a high SMV man, avoid them because they’re not fucking worth it. You should be cautious with any of your superiors; if you create a bad impression, they have the power to destroy your career, or at the very least cause some damage.

Couldn’t you gauge at some point that she was an uptight bitch and you shouldn’t even bother trying to be friendly? Didn’t you read her body language or tonality? Keep in mind that a guy in the same position as her could have made the same impact. She just had the leverage, saw the opportunity and took it, which I commend her for.

Admit that you were in the wrong, and learn from it. Lift, read, meditate and fix your SMV. Don’t shit where you eat is a given; in the workplace, don’t even fart at the table.

[–]namethisbooty4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jesus that was a harsh read LOL

[–]probablycoding3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Idk man, why are you asking her if she’s single and what she’s doing during the weekend? How is it relevant or helpful to you to know?

If it comes up at a company happy hour or lunch, that’s one thing. Even though your intentions may have been simply to build rapport, it backfired.

Your coworkers aren’t your friends and there’s good reason for that.

[–]JW_26 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

How is asking those things help you develop a WORK relationship?

How about “what do you find challenging about this job,” “what habits can I put into place that would help me down the road at this job” etc.

You sound like an idiot tbh.

[–]1walawalawa2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

This can happen in school, special interest classes or work.

I now am friendly but otherwise sexless in my office environment. I tease but never go beyond that unless i'm more familiar with the girl.

It means I won't bang them and they may even consider me a non-sexual prospect. But context is king. There are plenty of other opportunities to meet girls than in that kind of environment.

I think you came off as uncalibrated and in a climate of power struggles you have to be smarter.

Next time dial it down. You'll probably end up displaying more mystery and authority and it would be an even bigger DHV than gaming a girl.

Be smarter in future.

[–]_MysticFox 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

I thought classes/clubs were the best way to meet chicks?

[–]1walawalawa0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

They are as long as you don't come off as a thirsty coyote. It has to be something YOU truly want to learn...then you can DHV the shit out of the girls taking it.

I piece of shit ex-friend would take the same Latin Dance classes I did--to chase pussy---and it got him basically socially exiled.

At one point he was trying bang a plate of mine...came off as a desperate loser. Flamed out. Don't be that guy.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

asking her what she's doing during the weekend / single / etc

Completely avoid conversations about outside work. Always keep it professional.

I was not written up, but my boss, director, and hr managers are all aware of the situation and I am no longer allowed to talk with her

She set you up to undermine you. THIS IS WHAT THEY DO, and HR departments are terrified of #metoo so fuck you over every time.

Don't be behind closed doors with women, don't talk about anything about their private life, and don't break these rules EVEN IF THEY DO FIRST.

I have learned a HUGE lesson to NEVER be friends with females at work. NEVER expect people to be friendly and to never talk about anything other than business with a female.

I don't fucking get this.

Story after story after story on TRP about this stuff happening, and everyone is fucking surprised when it happens to them. We're not making this shit up you know.

Hear my warning gents

They won't, just like you didn't.

[–]Austinisfullgohome4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

What's your question?

If you're looking for validation of your own stupid choices, you won't find that here. This is a bed YOU made, now you lie in it.

asking if she was single

Jesus Christ

[–]red_matrix1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You asked a girl at work if she's single. You can't do this anymore. Thanks #metoo.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't get with women you work with it will never be in your favor.

If your the boss she will claim you used your position as abuse for sex. If your just the worker she will say you came on to her, said something to her, touched her all the usual nonsense.

Also most women are in HR and they will throw you under the bus the first chance they get. I had this happen says ever guy. Let this be a learning lesson women will screwing you in the workplace.

I had one company suspend me and ask me to respond in writing by X date or I would be terminated. Here is the kicker the HR woman back dated the letter by the time I got the letter I was basically terminated. She was pissed because I recorded a previous conversation and used it against her that was my payback.

You can get f*ucked multiple ways in the workplace. Just leave all the women alone there.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is why most guys should just claim to be fags at work.

Not even joking.

[–]blister3330 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly thinking about it. Think of the power opportunities it’d present

[–]hrm08941 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My personal rule is to never have the door closed if it's just me and a woman in a room. I actually try my best to never be alone with a woman in a room; I usually make an excuse to get out of a situation like that.

But given all these accusations, it seems you're at fault.

[–]PrankHank1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop fucking removing your posts, hella annoying. I dont care how controversial, extreme, right or wrong it was. Just dont fucking remove it...

[–]talexanderc1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't work with women. Problem solved

[–]Kabuki4311 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are there to work. You might come off as asshole but never care about ur coworkers personal life, even if they share. DGAF

[–]Tryingtofindmyself69 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

What. In. The. Actual. Fuck.

[–]DownyGall1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah other guy here said he was shitting where he ate, but damn this barely is. Bullshit

[–]3chazthundergut0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do be friendly.

Just keep it 100% professional instead of trying to build a personal relationship.

[–]whammyface0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m close with a lot of women I work with and most of our conversations are inappropriate. It’s something I let happen naturally over time. I never tried to build anything with them.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She knew what she was doing. She tried to get you fired, but her play failed.

The consequences of her attack were far less severe than she thought they would be.

By now she probably either fears the recoil from you or she is confident that next time she will crush you.

Use this information as you want, but know one thing: this is not over.

[–]purplefidgetmidget0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

lol that'll encourage companies to hire more women, good job #metoo

[–]abudun790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

OH! That must be this freedom, which I keep hearing so much about.

Even when companies stop hiring woman, or hire less, this will be attributed to men: Men are too weak, cannot take it when a women stands her ground. And women cannot be expected to work in such a misogynistic environment and where have all the good co-workers gone, that not constantly try to look under you skirt!

[–]Threwuhway 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

These responses are actually pretty harsh but pretty good! I can appreciate critisim.

I do have a flirtacious personality that clearly has to stop. I was ignorant thinking going into a meeting room alone with a female was completely fine. The thing is, she is not attractive and I was definitely not trying to make a move on her which is why it blew me away. I may be new to trp but I know not to shit where I eat.

I'm lucky enough that there was no written warning or complaint, they are sweeping it under the rug due to them knowing my outgoing and friendly personality.

Certainly making changes at work though lol

[–]JW_21 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

“The thing is, she is not attractive“

Still trying to rationalize it I see

[–]Work_In_Progress92-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

Are you a retard?

It's a rhetorical question. We all know the answer to it.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

unnecessary. failure the greatest teacher is. he made a stupid mistake but your circle jerking on him isn’t going to help.

[–]Work_In_Progress92-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You don’t shit where you eat. You don’t ask your co workers if they are single. There are reasons why and it’s been shown here...again.

There’s no circle jerk going on here. When someone is being a moron, they’ll be called a moron.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

from the looks of this thread your best bet is just to bow out and learn from your mistake. we’re all learning here mate.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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