How should we make sure that we don't take on an irrational victim complex?

wasbinichdenn · 2020-02-15T06:30:41+00:00

By going outside of our "safe spaces" / the "comfort zone" / the "echo chamber", talking to or reading material from other people, and focusing on the good points instead of solely on the bad

By not seeking out outrage porn all the time. If you see another clickbait title about "the menz", try ignoring it. Go outside, smell the roses, feed your dog/cat/parakeet , maybe go volunteer

If you feel misunderstood by society, remember that you're not alone or the first one. There have been atheists living in strict religious conservative countries (not to mention LGBT people in such countries). Remember that every society has had its ruling ideology, with some people eager to virtue signal about it, and a whole other people who are just trying to live their lives and who don't care as much or who are skeptical

TLDR peace out

WeEatBabies · 2020-02-15T12:34:23+00:00

Simple, we gotta make the distinction between being discriminated against by law ...

... and ...

Being discriminated against by social norm.

azazelcrowley · 2020-02-15T16:17:23+00:00

Avoid oppressor-oppressed dichotomous narratives. Accepts each demographic has issues related to their perception and treatment and the caricature of them society foists upon them as well as other groups expectations and entitlements. The victim complex shit arises from a refusal to accept that discrimination against a group is real or meaningful and this gives people license to attack that group to 'uplift' their own.

romulusnr · 2020-02-15T19:34:05+00:00

Perspective is key.

I don't dispute that there are real challenges uniquely facing women.

But what I also don't dispute that there are real challenges facing men. (This seems to be equated with disputing the former way too often for my taste.)

You hit a nail on the head here for me, and that is the disturbing similarities between the tactics of certain feminist sentiments and many conservative groups.

That being said, much like feminism, there are certainly maleists (?) who are just as full of shit. the comments in /r/mensrights is often a great place to find some.

ABitterSatireHeWrote · 2020-02-15T08:46:36+00:00

Distinguish between:

a) Direct social relations underneath gendered phenomena, their most immediate manifestations, and the coercive structures that reproduce them.

b) The general social attitudes and actions which are consequences of it and may serve supplementary roles in the reproduction of the above but are not themselves essential.

c) Phenomena you can't put into either of the above, probably means that it is unrelated.

Anytime you evaluate how big a deal to make of something, first ask yourself if it fits in category a, b, or c. Take it from there. That isn't to say that things in category b are to be ignored, always taken lightly, etc., but put it into perspective of the bigger picture. Sometimes taking a broader perspective can even encourage that phenomena in category b need to be fought for harder than you would otherwise think, it depends. But just keep this in mind. If it's in c, then treat it as such, that doesn't mean put it out of your mind, but just don't focus in on it or attempt to force it into topics that better fit a or b.

Finding out which category to put phenomena "x" in should require more than what is given in gender studies and post-modern philosophy to justify its categorization and it being given grandiose significance itself or being blamed on something which is more essential to the topic.

Almostquadrupletree · 2020-02-15T19:00:31+00:00

One thing we can do, is while this place gains popularity people are definitely gonna come check it out, and some will argue out of bad faith. How we are contradictory, or these problems are the product of our own maleness, so on and so forth. It makes sense at the time to remove these people as to not muddy the conversation, but what happens is, while the first couple of removals are in good faith, it will eventually lead to a purity spiral, in the way some feminism subs and AHS have gone down. We cant take a hands off approach to the moderation, and only really take things out of a discussion when they just break reddit rules in general.

ThatQueerWerewolf · 2020-02-15T19:23:32+00:00

Have friends from different walks of life with varying opinions. Try to get a healthy dose of outside views, and seriously consider them. Never be afraid to let your views change.

I'll know that I've taken on an unhealthy view the second I start to think that anyone has it easy. This is the issue with many people who sling around the word "privilege" and act like we cannot reach equality until everyone admits that one side has it so much worse. The truth usually lies in the middle. Try to have empathy and always recognize the other "side's" struggles.

Just try to keep a balance and don't make everything about you.

SonnBaz · 2020-02-15T07:46:58+00:00

What are tradcons?

omegaphallic · 2020-02-15T16:02:22+00:00

I express gratitude for all my blessings to the Gods through prayers, that is how I do it. They say that gratitude is key to happiness.

Aaod · 2020-02-15T19:41:00+00:00

I am not trying to be snarky, but basic intelligence and questioning ourselves? I frequently see posts calling the OP or other posters out for double standards or nonsense such as what do I care what some tumblr moron said.

2020-02-16T01:21:21+00:00

Viewing the world through the lens of “my life is harder because I’m in [x] group” is going to be a recipe for misery and entitlement no matter what.

I couldn’t think of a less productive and more whiny mindset. You can hold all these opinions in abstraction without turning yourself into a wingless victim by internalising them.

ABitterSatireHeWrote · 2020-02-15T06:55:59+00:00

Dunno, seems to me everyone who partakes in the debate inevitably turns into niggardly niggly naggers through a slow process of adopting the other sides views and vocabulary for themselves.

Melthengylf · 2020-02-15T13:06:02+00:00

Things are not in or out of proportion. We do not have God to be an universal ruler. You need stopping to judge the fact that certain things cause you pain, and start naming them. If you start searching for peoole to blame and start to harm the people guilty of your pain out of self-righteous anger, they will always consider that your anger is out of proportion, no matter your grievances. People always consider that their own anger is just and that the anger of others is injust, there is nothing other than bias in that.

Title	How should we make sure that we don't take on an irrational victim complex?
Author	thereslcjg2000
Upvotes	39
Comments	17
Date	February 15, 2020 5:59 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/comments/f45e45/how_should_we_make_sure_that_we_dont_take_on_an/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/how-should-we-make-sure-that-we-dont-take-on-an.1064003 https://theredarchive.com/post/1064003