So I keep seeing over and over, with this N value thing, that it's MEN who are slut shaming... But upon reflection, that NEVER happens in real life. Sure, it happens on the internet, in spaces where people talk about gender dynamics, to get honest, take off the mask, and dissect some thing.

But in real life, where the socializing is going on... It's not men calling women sluts. It's other women calling other women sluts. Women slut shame because they want to use it against other women who are getting tons of easy male attention by putting out, which is competition for the ones who don't put out so easily.

But my ENTIRE life, I don't think I ever met a dude in the real world who slut shamed. If we were throwing a party or going out, guys would obviously want to call the slutty girls first. Everyone wants to get laid, so calling the girls who put out was obviously a priority. No one ever said, "Ewww Becky is such a slut, don't invite her over," but rather, "Fuck yeah, Becky is such a slut I wanna get laid son! I'm going to text her and let her know I'm buying drinks tonight if she brings that crazy friend of hers!"

Dudes have always loved sluts. If it's a party, or a night out, it doesn't matter, guys are giving them all the attention and praise.

The only time guys may be negative, is secretly, when they think of dating one, they think, "Ehhh... I don't know if I want to date the chick that guys see as the girl to invite out so one of the bros can hopefully get his dick wet. I don't want to date 'that girl' who guys view as the sex object."

But I don't think I really ever even have that conversation in real life. It's almost exclusively done online in forums like this where people want to get granular and unwind the "why" behind gender dynamics.

Also, when did having preferences in a partner become "shaming". That's so baffling, and even more baffling that it applies to men... Like somehow wanting a certain thing in a partner is now shaming every other woman who doesn't posses that trait. It's not shaming sluts because men don't want to date sluts. They can still like, enjoy, and hang out with them, just not interested in a relationship. Not wanting to date you doesn't mean we think less o you.

Why don't we call it fat shaming when chicks don't want to date a fat dude? Is she saying he's worthless? No, she's just not into fat dudes. What about guys with a criminal history? Tall dudes? Guys that are funny and social vs reserved and stoic? Having a preferences in the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with, doesn't mean people who don't share those preferences are somehow "lesser".

So Cheers,

I love you sluts.