I have control of most of my life, except for my social life, and sexual life. Need RP help.
So, I'm 20 y/o, I'm a freelancing actor and I've been having some nice gigs. I'm also learning programming, reading like a madman, and been having some voice acting side gigs as well.
Financially, I'm doing well. I've been working hard and I've got several thousands of dollars at my disposal with zero dollars in debt or any of that. I don't owe anything.
But that's the kicker. A year ago I started with The Red Pill, and since then I stopped chasing women. I'm working out, working hard, and I've been focusing purely on myself, on improving myself. But, while my friends are going out, going on vacations together, having relationships, getting drunk (I'm not jealous of the drunk part), I am just sitting at home, working and watching Mad Men (more about this later).
I wanted to go backpacking in South America with a friend, but that didn't happen.
I wanted to buy a car (and take the massive financial hit) and explore the country, but that didn't happen.
I wanted to go out to a dancing club, but I can't dance and I have no social skill with females, so that didn't happen.
I feel like I'm a guy that could, but doesn't.
This is the odd part. I've been doing better lately, and I can talk to girls, but ONLY purely in a friendly way. I've been laughing a lot with girls from my classes, but that's it.
I can talk amazingly, but only with guys. With women I get less confident, but not too bad. Except, all sexual things fly out the window.
Now, Mad Men. Three weeks ago I got hooked on it, and since then I couldn't stop thinking about Don Draper. Its beta as fuck, but without me noticing, I've even been copying his facial expressions, it's fucked up, but I feel like it's the only way I can get confident, with the Fake it 'till you make it method. It's stupid but I've been enjoying thinking about it.
But here's the kicker. It doesn't matter if it's Don Draper's smoothness or some info I read from a book, the second I leave my house and enter a place with women, it goes the FUCK away. All of it, I shed it like a skin, and then underneath, the good old beta comes up.
Look, I don't know. This will probably be at 0 (33% upvoted) within a minute, but this is the last place I can ask for some non-beta advice.
And fucking hell, I need it.