Since nobody understands the irrationality of women like TRP does, I thought you guys might be able to make sense of this.

My parents are in their mid 60s and got divorced a year or so ago. My mother has always been an emotional wreck and constantly started fights because she "feels this" or "feels that". Basically, her reality is 110% how she feels emotionally at any given time.

She suffered a stroke a few years back and only got worse, very irrational and secretive. She moved into her own place a few hours away from my father. He's a decent guy and said he'd look after her as much as he could, and they're still on amicable terms, texting every day etc. but she has loads of friends who stay with her now and refuses to tell anyone who they are, what they're doing etc.

Anyway, she says a week back she found a lump which might be cancer (or a cyst) and her Doctor in town referred her to an Oncologist nearby just to get it tested. You know, just in case it's something serious. She's all, "Oh I'm sure it's nothing, it'll be fine".

I now get simultaneous messages from them both.

My Dad says, "Your mother said she can't cope where she is and she wants to see a specialist in my town instead, which means she'll take the spare bedroom here, so I said no, that's not a good idea because if you need follow-up treatments or visits it's better to do it where you live locally, rather than having to drive 4 hours here every time. So she then said she's cancelling her appointment and won't bother going then. I don't understand what her issue is."

Her message is, "I told your dad I can't cope here on my own with seeing the surgeon and asked if I could see one local to him and he said NO. That's fine, I'll just cancel then and not bother seeing one. He obviously doesn't care. If I die, I die."

His approach is logical - YOU divorced ME, YOU moved out and on with your life, YOU were all set to go see someone local to you and suddenly you decide you have to stay with me during this process because you can't cope? I agree with him. It's not logical. It's a checkup, not a full-on surgery. But to her, I think in her "logic" this is just an entitled shit-test: "If you don't let me stay with you in my time of need, you're an asshole and you want me to die".

What the hell am I supposed to say to her? Telling a woman she's acting like a child and illogically is like telling a Lion he should adopt a vegan diet. I don't know how to approach this situation with her. Anything I say will come off as being an asshole because she's not looking for a logical solution here, she's looking to be a victim.

What do I respond to her? How do I handle this?

Edit: Thanks for the advice guys. My dad was sending me all the filth she was writing to him and she figuratively lost her marbles. She decided a cancer scare would be a great weapon to use and set up a situation whereby unless he bent over backwards to accommodate her then he is the biggest asshole on the planet.

I told him to completely ignore the rant and block her phone number for a week. Like a toddler throwing a tantrum, she'll eventually tire herself out and when she realises nobody is listening to her she'll suddenly feel very sorry for herself and what she did. She told me that since he won't help her (by inviting her to stay with him so she can see a Doctor in his town instead of hers) she's now cancelling her appointment and will simply leave it to grow and potentially kill her. All because she wants to prove some point and elicit feelings of sympathy. It's like shooting yourself in the foot so you can post it on Facebook and tell everyone how you survived a horrific gunshot and that you should have a medal of bravery for it. It's nasty, using a cancer scare against people who care about you, just for some attention. But AWALT, no woman is above stooping that low for attention.

Lesson here guys: when you read about guys with plates who start giving them shit because they want commitment - they imply they should move in and when you say no they throw their toys out their pram - the guys ultimately say "Fine, then fuck off and don't come back. I'm doing you a favour by having you here and if it's not good enough then go find someone else." The women then change their tune very quickly. It's all emotional hostage-taking and manipulation. Don't fall for it. You don't need them, and the moment they become more trouble than they're worth, cut them loose. Or demote them.