Why am I posting this here?

I think this is more of a social skills question rather than a straightforward business question. I believe several readers and contributors are successful professionals/entrepreneurs/business leaders, and I would like to get RP-aware advice, or as I perceive it, no sugar-coating and minimal BS, relying on personal strength and hard work rather than tricks.

I've been running a fairly specialized consulting business for about four years now but never really had to go looking for clients. It's been pretty much word-of-mouth and me being recommended by my network. I've had to decline several projects because they would have forced us to grow faster than was manageable at the time. Recently, my largest client got acquired, and the new company will not renew our contract since they have an internal team that provides the same services.

In order to avoid having people on the bench, and to avoid similar events having such a big impact on my company, I, for the first time, have to actively find new clients and I'm having stupid mental blocks keeping me from reaching out to my extended professional network.

There is a large number of former colleagues, former clients and people I met at conferences that I haven't had any contact with for a few years. I would like to ask them if their current company or people in their network would be interested in my company's services.

I have been procrastinating for weeks on doing this, mainly because I don't really know how to initiate contact:

  1. If I send a direct email asking for possible projects and referrals, after no communication for almost a decade, it comes across as "that guy who only remembers you when he needs you".

  2. If I first send a "getting in touch" email, wait for their reply, and then ask them about possible projects, I can't help but find it disingenuous. It's pretty obvious the first email has an ulterior motive. I personally tend to be turned off when someone reaches out to me in this manner.

I'm not happy with either approach.

It doesn't help that I have this lingering idea that "good products sell themselves", and that unless framed carefully, approaching people offering my company's services implicitly communicates that we're not that successful.

I have a friend who's very good at keeping in touch with his professional network. He literally schedules yearly "update" emails with any person he has had a notable professional interaction with. A decade later he now has a huge up-to-date professional network. His business has had amazing growth thanks to this.

Barring going back in time and using my friend's strategy, what do you recommend is the best approach to reach out to a professional acquaintance asking for new business years after the last time we communicated?