Men dont have much to offer in dating

NockerJoe · 2022-08-15T03:56:06+00:00

This is just my anecdotal experience but women who try to make men bring X Y and Z to the table are like 100x more likley to get played than a woman who just wants a relationship with a vaguely self sufficient dude. Because as it turns out, having an even regular person as a partner makes your life easier while requiring a dude who has to be tall and smooth and have money will mostly get you guys who max that shit out to fuck and those guys are rarely into actual monogamy.

I remember one woman being ultra happy with her boyfriend she got off Tinder. She swiped on him because he had a picture of himself in his (blue collar) work outfit and looked reasonably well put together. But I know someone who claims to have had over four thousand matches over the years but every relationship is a trainwreck because if a guy needs to be in like the 0.1% to have a shot thats a really specific kind of dude before lifestyle or morals enter into it.

dukesaces · 2022-08-15T03:26:34+00:00

You're right for the most part. Average men and average women don't bring much into a relationship. The average man used to be able to provide for his family, that was his bargaining chip but with women entering the workforce and wages stagnating but prices rising it isn't that men dont want to but they can't provide for the family anymore. Thus the average man doesn't really have anything to offer women anymore, not even kids because she can just buy sperm and impregnate herself which is why relationships and marriages are declining each year.

Now when it comes to women the average woman has nothing to provide but pussy. However men can't just generate pussy or enter the "pussy workforce". Women have realised this and have commodified sex. True feminism is dead and women have begun to use their pussy to gain sexual access to much more attractive men (who will only pump and dump them) or to directly sell it to the average and below average men in the forms of direct prostution and onlyfans/eprostitution.

Ultimately this is gonna create a huge cadre of lonely and depressed men that are disillusioned and angry with society. Many will be preyed upon by sex workers and turned into paypig simps. Many will become angry incels that will attack women. Neither is a desirable outcome.

Ultimately society is fucked and will only go further and further downhill from here until the balance of power readjusts, most likely via commercialized sex robots.

AutomaticMeaning3844 · 2022-08-15T04:52:23+00:00

An individual man doesn't, but women depend on men as an aggregate for their self esteem and mental wellbeing.

Women's self esteem is built on male attention. It's just so abundant and from so many different men throughout her life, that it's taken for granted. One man doesn't seem significant, but the attention of all the men in her life added up is significant to her mental health.

Women can easily get it, so they don't make too much effort to get it and don't think too much about it, but it doesn't mean they aren't completely dependent on it.

We all can easily get water and make little effort to get more water, but water is a core and needed substance of our body.

PrinceBagratoni · 2022-08-15T03:37:57+00:00

Men don’t have much to offer in dating if they’re determined to stick with the old models of manhood.

If you recognise that the old provider/protector model is obsolete, and you need to offer something else, you tend to do better.

Kentucky_Supreme · 2022-08-15T05:56:22+00:00

If money was the main thing incentivising certain women then were they ever actually attracted to men at all? Or just money?

Also, most women aren't swiping on dating apps for "emotional intelligence" and "personality" lol. Their biggest complaints seem to be that nobody's tall enough and nobody makes enough money.

Even if the vast majority of men could magically become 6ft+ and have a million dollars appear in their bank account, all that would do is become the new "average". Which is the exact thing women complain isn't "good enough". So you'd be right back to square one.

WOPR-1983 · 2022-08-15T05:07:36+00:00

Therefore, the modern day relationship in most cases is unequal because women are providing sex but men are not providing financially.

On average, men still outearn their partners.

This "CMV" is based on a fantasy of misinformation.

Which men are not providing financially?? Because he only makes "as much as her" and not twice as much?

What nonsense.

FutureBannedAccount2 · 2022-08-15T05:23:59+00:00

Based on this post, I get the idea that you’re perpetually single and can’t maintain a long term relationship and instead of looking inwards and figuring out what’s wrong with you (lots of evidence in this post) you think men are the issue.

You say the guys you’ve met can’t open up emotionally or connect on a deeper level with someone. They can when they actually like the person

PresidenteWeevil · 2022-08-15T03:30:12+00:00

Man provide much more than that. When there is a noise at 2pm, who is going to check downstairs?

vogel777 · 2022-08-15T03:46:19+00:00

This is a really good argument for why having women in the work force en masse is unsustainable for society in the long term. It will likely lead to war, even if you can permanently subdue the huge swathes of the new male underclass you'll still be faced with total demographic collapse, as women become more career oriented they become less and less likely to ever have children. Japan is going through this demographic crisis now and the western world isn't far behind.

MarBitt · 2022-08-15T04:25:07+00:00

Women's bargaining chip regarding the provision of sex has also changed.

Compared to the past, men have a much better chance of getting sex outside of relationships. Although not all of them do, a certain part do, and they are therefore much less willing to enter into relationships if they are young and sexually desirable outside of the relationship.

Just as fewer women need money from men, fewer men and women need sex from the opposite sex. From 1990 to 2014 the percentage of men who had sex with at least one man rose from 4.5% to 8.2%.

In a 2009 Dutch study, of the male participants, 7.9% had had sex with another man in the past six months and 7.1% identified himself as homo- or bisexual; among women, these figures were 5.5% and 5.9%, respectively.

In the past, there were already cultures where sex between men was considered equal or even more important and fun than sex between men and women. So the possibility that men in sex would largely shift to male-to-male sex is there.

When you add porn (which after all is watched more by men) and you take into account the huge potential in the sale of sex toys, including sex dolls/robots for men (which are still associated with greater social taboos), even a woman's bargaining chip for providing sex is changing

PrinceBagratoni · 2022-08-15T05:07:16+00:00

Is this remotely true? Dating men is a hundred times easier and less emotionally burdensome because you aren't dealing with a leaky bucket that won't ever be filled who's constantly micromanaging your time or waiting for you to slip up. I cannot understate how mentally taxing it is to consistently play a very heteronormative role in a relationship.

MischievousCarrot · 2022-08-15T05:28:45+00:00

I think the reason for the increase in male dating struggles is they dont have much to offer.

Women are more selective. Before dating apps, they had less people to select from.

Therefore, the modern day relationship in most cases is unequal because women are providing sex but men are not providing financially.

"Women don't like sex" is the most puritanical position I've read in a while.

This means men need to up their emotional intelligence and personalities in order for a women to want to date him in todays society.

Not to say men don't want relationships, but the difficult stage for a man to get is the sex stage. A man that can get sex, can get relationships.

artrandenthi1 · 2022-08-15T06:18:54+00:00

News Flash OP: Women need men and men need women. Period. We are all social beings, so we all need each other.

Yes. We are in a major transformation as a humanity and the sooner everyone agrees and figures out next steps, the faster this will be over and we all find a new normal. Thanks for listening

EasternToe3824 · 2022-08-15T06:27:46+00:00

If you lower your contribution to a relationship to the level of a sex worker, you do not get to make a call for empathy.

2022-08-15T06:28:18+00:00

Neither do women tbh

bitchlodia · 2022-08-15T07:29:26+00:00

Just bcuz most women earn themselves doesn't mean they are not spending their partners money.

2022-08-15T03:38:04+00:00

the modern day relationship in most cases is unequal because women are providing sex but men are not providing financially

Most women give sex freely to the same guys, which means those guys have many options and don't have to commit to a relationship or providing financially. Women don't demand it from these guys in exchange for sex. If they did, you'd have a point. But they don't, so you don't.

bighuddi · 2022-08-15T03:27:26+00:00

what are you psychopaths even on?? 💀 we fucking get it. you want Brayden & you only see Brayden. Brayden has never had to try. like an average woman. arrested development. Brayden is a fucklord. Good fucking grief we are out of high school but you're gonna bring that shit back??? that complaining about assholes shit???? cause it's deafeningly obvious that's what this femcel rant is.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-08-15T04:13:14+00:00

Imagine believing relationships should only exist if they're transactional.

women provide sex

How delusional

tonyghow · 2022-08-15T04:05:33+00:00

women are providing sex

Women take away or greatly reduce sex a few years after marriage. That's not a great "bargaining chip". It's bait and switch. See r/deadbedroom

men are not providing financially

Women enter the workforce, are approaching what men make, and you blame men for that? Don't blame men for restricting your own dating pool because you want someone richer and richer as you make more money.

men need to up their emotional intelligence and personalities in order for a women to want to date him in todays society.

That is the only sensible request. The rest of your rant post is junk. So stop with your gold digging and your transactional nonsense and look for a man for love and personality. Not his pocketbook or how much higher his status is so you can brag to your girlfriends.

Academic_Snow_7680 · 2022-08-15T04:14:10+00:00

This means women do not have the incentive to get into relationships and the only reason they would is if the guy is perfect and they really like him.

Oh honey, have you met men? None of them are perfect and neither are women.

Women are desperately trying to find a man that will CARRY HIS WEIGHT in the relationship. He doesn't have to out-earn her, he doesn't have to be perfect, he just doesn't have to be an entitled asshole that expects the woman to do majority of the work at home because of her gender.

Fair division of labor, that's clearly a dealbreaker for men because men would rather be single than provide that. As countless examples prove.

throwaway02593 · 2022-08-15T05:16:05+00:00

men provided money and women provided sex

Women are also interested in sex, and eye candy. Especially eye candy.

but now days the majority of men dont/cant do that

Just because you can't attract a provider doesn't mean other women can't.

Men and women roughly earn about equal

If that was true we wouldn't be hearing feminists constantly bitch about the "wage gap".

Married men earn 20k-ish more per year than married women do, on average. That's a pretty big difference.

InfamousBake1859 · 2022-08-15T04:22:15+00:00

This is actually misognistic.

Women providing sex, are women prostitutes. Sex should be for both parties. Both should “provide sex”. Lol non sense.

But otherwise, yeah… men should learn to have a relationship with women,… not transactional for sex.

Hodgkins_Fun_Alt · 2022-08-15T05:14:57+00:00

the most straightforward thing a man could have to offer is an orgasm superior to one from a vibrator. But a good 50%-70% aren’t going to be able to give you one of those if you jump into bed with him, so what’s the point

AutoModerator · 2022-08-15T03:10:07+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

KayRay1994 · 2022-08-15T04:23:39+00:00

soooo relationship = prostitution?

CanYouTieThemInABow · 2022-08-15T05:14:04+00:00

This doesn't take into account having and raising children.

A woman either needs to send her children to insanely expensive daycare (and probably cry about it tbh if this starts at the typical American timeline of 6 to 12 weeks postpartum) or drop out of the workplace for a while until the kids are old enough for school. Having a good provider makes a huge difference. And kids do better with a stable two parent household.

Huellenthousiast · 2022-08-15T06:01:53+00:00

Or just maybe relationships aren’t only about money and sex at all

hari_hbp · 2022-08-15T06:05:02+00:00

the one bargaining chip that men and women are different on is that men provided money and women provided sex. Men used to provide financially for the women completely

I thank the world this isn't the norm anymore.

Therefore, the modern day relationship in most cases is unequal because women are providing sex but men are not providing financially.

Women don't "provide sex" atleast, that's how normal men see it. The only way a relationship can be claimed unequal is the fact that women are the ones who get pregnant and are the majority users of birth control (even that would go away if there's a male birth control)

the only reason they would is if the guy is perfect and they really like him.

The only proper reason ever. Every other reason is stupid and harmful to both genders.

women can get sex, money, companionship, kids without even being in a relationship.

Agreed.

Most men cannot get frequent sex outside of a relationship unless they pay someone

Not true. Many men do have trouble finding a partner for sex/dating. The burden of the pursuer, accepting it is the only way out.

they pay someone so men have more of an incentive to date women.

No matter how desperate a man gets, he never should get into a relationship for just sex - insulting to himself and the woman. As for paying for sex, I personally see it just as insulting - no man should try to get with a woman who wouldn't be with him otherwise.

need to up their emotional intelligence and personalities in order for a women to want to date him in todays society. These should be developed for no other reason than his own mental health and happiness.

Some guys I've met just cant open emotionally or connect with someone on a deeper level

If that's what makes them happy, then I wouldn't stop them. If it doesn't, I hope they would change for their own sake.

kinhk · 2022-08-15T06:10:10+00:00

You forgot to add protection to that bargaining list. Men don’t need to open up their “emotional intelligence”. The main problem guys have with getting women is social awkwardness and lack of game.

SkeletonMagi · 2022-08-15T06:37:39+00:00

Vibrator tech must be as advanced as porn these days. Maybe men and women don’t need each other for sex at all…

kenshn1 · 2022-08-15T07:18:09+00:00

That's a shallow outlook. Both sexes should provide more than sex and money.

If a woman is only providing pussy she is a thot and will drop you as soon as a better option comes around or try and "open relationship" you into being a cuck.

If a man only provides money your only a sex object and he definitely has other ones.

Sex and money are important in a relationship like they shouldn't be slacking but those should be like 4th or 5th down the list of priorities.

In my opinion social media and a relative economic boom has just made people more shallow. Women just don't feel it as much yet because young women run those platforms, literally everyone likes young pretty women. But when their looks fade and they live with their 5 cats or as a single mother it's going to suck just as much as being a young broke unattractive guy.

henryXsami99 · 2022-08-15T08:07:41+00:00

I miss when relationships was about to give just because you can, not to expect something in return

You give to make yourself happy by making them happy, their happiness is yours, but when transactions enter the picture, it becomes disingenuous...

beleidigtewurst · 2022-08-15T08:23:28+00:00

This means women do not have the incentive to get into relationships

Your jump from dating to relationships is formidable.

Let me tell you that "dating" means bang-bang.

Something quite different from "relationships" (essentially LTR)

People who state "men have little to offer to relationships" are, I guess, from that peculiar /r/FemaleDatingStrategy place.

insertcredit2 · 2022-08-15T08:39:54+00:00

Let's look at this another way.

Single men have it way way better than they used to. We no longer need a women to split the work load because the work load has been made easy with tech. we have roombas, dishwashers, washer dryers with anti crease function, online banking, all bills are done online, grocery's are delivered and things like gusto/hello fresh make cooking a breeze, we can work from home, amazon means we never need to go shopping, nothing is repaired any more it's cheaper to buy new, online gaming/social media/streaming services/porn/sex toys mean we're entertained and able to be social, travel costs a fraction of what it did in the 90s so we can go on holidays in a few clicks online.

A woman needs to bring more to the table now for things to be an improvement. So why should a guy bother committing to any women when her traditional role has become defunct like men's traditional role of bread winner has become defunct. All you really have to offer is "muh vagina" but all women have that.

johnnybayarea · 2022-08-15T09:15:34+00:00

Seems fair, if women have stepped up their game in earning potential, then it only stands that men must step up into the complete package in hopes to be a real partner. Even with that said, I think the 70c to a dollar quote still means something. While it doesn't mean that women are being unfairly paid for their work in the same positions, but rather they still regularly choose professions that pay less....so there is still a chance you can make more money than your potential partners.

Reality is that women provide the womb, not just sex. Your sex should trade equally with her sex. Sure she could easily get out there and get random dick, she still wants it...your dick just has to be better. It's really men v men; always thinking what is that guy bringing that I do not, can i get better or bring something different (hope)!

Title	Men dont have much to offer in dating
Author	Trishlikefish2
Upvotes	9
Comments	201
Date	August 15, 2022 3:10 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/woonbr/men_dont_have_much_to_offer_in_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-dont-have-much-to-offer-in-dating.1128001 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128001