I've been having a conversation with a few of my red friends for the past few months, trying to wrap my mind around this issue, and I thought I'd open it up for discussion here. I think that it's pretty well known that the sexual market can be affected by such things as actual male-to-female ratios in certain geographic regions, education rates, job availability, and other things..
But something we don't really talk about much is to what extent it affects us, our game, and women's attitudes. For example, we speak of women as a group and their general tendencies, but we haven't discussed variations in these tendencies based on local markets. We discuss differences in behavior based on relative
We have users discussing strategies with each other, and I feel as though there's a communication gap. For instance, we see a field report in which one of our all-star endorsed contributors posts how he plays it fast and loose and wins. Experiences that might seem incredible if I hadn't experienced similar things myself- but it occurs to me that the "no-bro, you gotta do it xyz way" is a relatively poor form of reasoning if we don't consider local market variations.
I consider this because I personally cut my teeth in a region where women are constantly on hard mode. Regular game that would work anywhere else causes women here to double down on their behavior. They bet big and apparently feel their risks at shit testing and beta-tization are worth it. I'm assuming it's because men here are desperate. There are probably about 15:1 guys to women at bars near me, and even fat chicks get approached by guys I think are fitter and better looking than myself. Surely this is a skewed market. And it intrigues me.
The Double Down
I casually saw a bartender last summer who knew I was spinning plates but obviously secretly planned to take ownership of me- she started clasping down after a few months, in an attempt to modify my behavior to her liking. She gave herself plausible deniability that allowed for her attempts to look innocent enough. We went a week without talking, mostly because I had been under the weather, when I saw her again afterwards, she was upset that I hadn't contacted her sooner. She used phrases like "I just would like to hear from you a little more often, you know?" and "it's no big deal you could've called me." Of course, she had equal opportunity to contact me, but this detail would never enter into conversation, as this wouldn't be a rational conversation. Her desire was to curb my behavior and turn me into the beta she wanted, the one that reaffirmed her, and the one that would eventually be on a short enough leash that it was harder for me to see other girls.
I told her that I don't like making too many phone calls, especially when I'm sick. She tried to tighten her grip and decided to put up a fit- giving me the cold shoulder because I couldn't be fussed to show her a little that I care. I knew the slippery slope I was on, and the inch I'd give would become a mile. So I soft-nexted her. A few days later, no contact, she decided that I was being a real asshole for ignoring her for a few days, and demanded an apology for treating her this way.
My experience with soft-nexting or freezeouts, especially on a shit test like this, is that they will relent if you call their bluff. If you don't have proper sexual market value, they won't relent and just walk away. But instead, we experience option 3: the double down. It was clear that my relative sexual market value was diminished by our locality- but it wasn't a clear-cut low value guy getting next'd by a woman- it was a high value guy getting double-down'd by a woman in an environment she was convinced she could call the shots on. Of course, I didn't allow it, but, what advantage is it to me to walk away if this is the environment I'm in?
Ice fishing seems cold, so maybe I'll stay inside. But if you want to fish, eventually you put on some boots and a coat and deal with it?
The Girl With the Ex-Boyfriend
Another plate I was spinning around the same time was a single mother who, after a few months of dating, eventually let on that her ex-boyfriend (baby daddy) was abusive. Of course, I take such stories with a grain of salt because honestly I don't know one woman without some sob story like that (it cheapens it when every woman has the same complaint). But, whatever. So one evening we're out for a stroll after having dinner at a rather nice place (I like to indulge) when she gets a call. Her kid was with dad for the weekend (giving us the evening to do as we pleased). Her phone starts ringing and she got visibly tense. She tells me that she hates it when he calls because he just calls to bitch about her parenting skills. She ignores it, but doesn't stop the ringer. He calls back multiple times, each time she refuses to answer. I suggest she mute her phone or turn it off if she's not going to answer it. She asks me to take her back, (we were in one car, her car was at my house). So we get in the car where she eventually mutes her phone after my third request, and sits quietly on her side of the car, all tensed up.
I mean, obviously this chick has some baggage. I suppose I'd be less tolerant of the baggage if I had ever met a girl without some crippling psychological issue, but this seems to be par for the course, ages 18 - 40.
So we get to my place, and I invite her upstairs. She tersely says no, that she has to go home. I ask her what's up, she won't answer. So I just say, "alright whatever, bye" and go inside- no kiss or anything.
A day passes, and no contact. I'm curious when she's going to apologize for this behavior.
The next day I hear from her- I say "I was wondering when I'd hear from you.." she goes "what did you want me to say?" I go "well an apology seems like a good start..."
What happens? She doubles down.
She can't be fussed to consider that her behavior was absolutely unacceptable. I briefly mention that I don't like the idea of an ex boyfriend interrupting and abruptly ending our dates if there isn't an emergency. She demands that I tolerate her behavior, in so many words. That she can't help it and that I should've been more understanding.
She wanted the beta. And she was willing to bet it all for it. And it actively got rid of me, that was the very minute I next'd her.
Doubling down is counter-intuitive... maybe?
Is doubling down a good strategy? For women looking for beta- perhaps it's effective at weeding out men who won't go all the way. Perhaps it's short sighted, and these women don't yet realize the alpha they crave and the beta they're pushing for won't exist in the same person. Perhaps they're betting it all because they feel the market best favors them?
These are red pill principles, in a completely different market, having very different outcomes. I'm very interested in this, so much so, that I tried beta game with my most recent experiment.
She wanted beta, and I gave it to her. I even bought her flowers one day after we got in a small argument (that she caused, but I resolved with beta-tude). She regularly commented about how she's looking for a long-term commitment, and how she was nervous that she wouldn't find one. This, I think, caused her to turn the beta-ray to 11.
Even with my concessions, I figured I'd have to keep my normal game around at least 3 or 4 instead of the normal 8 to 10. But here, we saw her butting heads with it in her ever increasing attempts to make me into her little beta. She wanted me to do as she requested, throwing mini fits if she didn't get her way. I attempted to appease somewhat, holding my ground on only the manner she attempted to communicate her requests, but not on the requests themselves. Eventually we got to an impasse, she was upset that I had been out of communication during the day when she was going through some trouble. I had contacted her after I was done at work, but it was a long day for me, so it wasn't until after 8pm. She threw her passive aggressive remarks suggesting that I was purposefully ignoring her, whereas I wasn't. I stood my ground, "no, I was working, and simply did not have time to call you, and I do not appreciate the implication you just made."
She doubled down. She demanded I should have made time and that I was unreasonable.
After two such arguments over the course of a few weeks, I walked.
She failed at her goal.
What is doubling down doing for these women? How does local geography affect this? How does it affect approaches? Women here have worse bitch shields than most I've read about.
I'm curious to see people's thoughts on this. Also, I will not be providing my actual location for anonymity's sake.