Hello all

First off, I need to say that I have a big ego (with justification for it, "champion's ego", will be explained) and that I found it really hard to ask others so bare with me - please.

I am a guy from Serbia who pretty much makes stuff work in a non-functional society (serbia, we are a really f'ed up country) and I am very proud of it, as I have a really good job backed up with valuable diploma, several other entrepreneurship that eventually turned to be worth the risk and now working, lots of good friends that I made by deeds and not words, solid moral values, and I am still in the process of perfecting myself and my life in general

^ this was needed to be said as we live in a VERY poor country where even high education wont work for you, people are hard-working for ridiculously small amounts of money (real average monthly pay is 250 euros, so for example, to buy a new average small family car you would need to work 35+ years to pay it off), people are starting to be selfish, depressed and closed, and its really hard. And to come on top, you need to be seriously dedicated, creative and mentally strong, you really need to think outside the box.

I am not bragging and I would like not to be interpreted that way, I am stating the fact that I am satisfied with every aspect of my life except love, so a bit about my character

I am intelligent, extrovert, funny guy that likes to talk, employed in IT but on top of that a sports guy > one would deduce how in these conditions in serbia those are less valued features, as girls tend to fall for "bad boys" even more so, in poverty, being that bad boys here are mostly actually bad - drug dealers, criminals, thugs, or in contrast mama's spoiled sons with family money

Eventually, or to be exact, really early in my life I learned that I dont need that kind of girls either - It was all fun and games when I was 18 (I am 30 now) and I wanted some of those big tits, ass, and so on, and got my share of it by deliberately "playing" the bad boy and eventually got bored of it once I realized those are worth nothing, when the peak of her topic selection is celebrity gossip.

In the meantime, I was interested in such a wide range of topics, learning about sciences, politics, history, sociology, psychology, physics and theology to a close-to-academic degree, I wanted to learn about the world around myself, and as I did, I slowly realized I have fewer and fewer people to talk with. And note that I am not a geek who would only talk big talks, I love comedy, jokes, nice people to hang out with and just enjoy the moment, but I need my fix of a bit more complicated stuff, and that's what I was searching for in a girl all this time, a diverse fun character with a higher state of mind.

I am a guy that makes up an impossible story about a map of a sunken Roman ship in the wilderness of Serbia so believable that people actually plan a trip with me, we go, dive in search for a "ship", make barbecue, drink beer and have unforgettable 6 days adventure everyone will remember 4life, which is something more valuable than the actual gold.

I realized women to the point of easily acquiring the temporary "target" only to be driven away by her shallowness that eventually comes on top.

/

*THE PROBLEM: *

I met her, for the sake of further reading, we will call her Daisy > young (19 yrs in 2014) and joyful, not so much sophisticated or anything, but with a desire to be so, curious, talkative, wonderful, and with unreal potential to be what I always dreamed of, an independent strong girl with a mind of her own, in a "sea" of copy-paste girls here in serbia to be the original I always wanted to see, just to realize that it's not just my dream but an actual reality for such a girl to exist

(2014) And it started off perfectly - we went out on our first date and we got to a kiss, only for her to stop me once the kiss was already happening (in for 10+ seconds) > which is a first for me, she either wants it or doesnt want, and I was confused with my knowledge of what to do with already weird women's mind. That just doesnt happen, at least not with me

She told me a story I immediately realized to be shit: "she just went out of a long relationship and she is not ready yet" >> OK, let's give it time, not like I know or hang out with another girl that even slightly interests me

5 months into our first date, we hang out, we talk, we want to see each other every day and I was really careful not to fall into friendzone state, making it unique and romantic with transparent desire when ever I got the chance. Im not letting go due to silly excuse "Im not ready" > you gon be ready at certain point then, and I am patient.

Well, she was about to be "ready" when we kissed again after 5 months, and I was happy as a moron, only to NOT kiss her the day after > I was actually mad at her because she didnt have an explanation for it, she stood there completely mute and I didnt want to force it out of her as I learned in previous instances with girls that it only makes things unproductive.

I knew something was wrong, and I had an epiphany as soon as I kicked up my analytic mind rather than my in-love mind, I connected the dots:

  • she smiles too often when replying to a messages from a girl which is supposedly her friend
  • she mistakenly mentioned that in her "previous long relationship" she lived with a "guy" in the same small place where her now-former girl friend lives
  • she freezes once she makes physical contact with me (male), not before
  • she once asked me to drive her to some girl's house in 2 in the morning, because they had an argument over the viber, she was there 10 minutes, came back happy

I wanted to know the truth, so dont judge me on this one: I hacked (please dont ask how and for me to do it for someone else) facebook accounts of both her former friend (ffr: Nadia) and her viber friend (ffr: Vera), only to realize that they are full-blown lesbians with more than questionable promiscuity

What has stricken me the most was the fact that all of those girls objectify her and think really low of her, Nadia was actually her "long relationship" and Vera is her actual girlfriend, or should I say hookup, as Vera has her regular girlfriend, only using Daisy for sex (with, of course, promises of love and shi*)

I confronted her, she was backed in a corner and couldnt move out of it so she admitted everything. She told me that it's "fun and games, it's not serious, she doesnt want to be lesbian, and she wants to have eventually a normal and regular family" (biological, that is) I have let go of the topic, realizing how screwed up the situation is.

Fast forward to 2016:

We see each other, I eventually had "fodder" girlfriends while still being in love in a girl Daisy COULD BE (biggest mistake I have learned from)

She still sees Vera, falling deeper for her as the time progresses while Vera literally proposed to her girlfriend, she asked her girlfriend to marry her in a country where that is allowed, while fucking Daisy whenever she gets the chance

I confronted her seeing that it destroys her life and now INTERLUDE

I do not approve of homosexuals. PLEASE dont turn this thread into that topic. I am in NO way hostile, or openly judgemental towards them, I just think that they are not "born that way" in contrary from what western media tells us, and by my own analytical sample every gay person (at least here in Serbia) lives really f'ed up life. Even if it actually is "because of external influence and other's judgement" doesnt change the fact that it IS a problem, one would suffer. And she suffers, greatly:

  • depression
  • lying to her closest friends
  • anxiety, more and more of it
  • living double life
  • promiscuity (she started fucking other girls in 1night stands)
  • apparent bipolar disorder, getting worse by the day

once again, I have my personal opinion about homosexuals, and I would like for participants to appreciate that, by the "true liberal meaning" of me having my own right at certain opinion

end of INTERLUDE

I told her that it's no life to live: that she should either stop what she calls "fun and games" if it's really that (which I fully doubted) or to come out, because it's obviously taking it's tol on her. She got mad and furious, telling me for 10th time that she has nothing with Vera and that she ended it with her, and so on

without her knowledge of how much I am informed about it all, I went full CSI after that argument (late 2016) and once again I did the hack thing, with actual quotes to show her there is no love, just the bad life with bad people:

  • Vera: she is my slut, my fuckwhore
  • Vera: I can tell her to eat shit, she probably would
  • Vera to her girlfriend: Daisy is nothing to me, she is just retarded girl which follows me around
  • Random girl1: I fucked daisy so that Vera's girlfriend wouldnt be suspicious of Daisy hanging out with Vera
  • Random girl1: hahah, she is easy, I literally kissed her with no effort, took her home the same way
  • Random girl2: "what's the name of that slut from gay club that I groped last weekend ? (thinking of Daisy)

January 2017:

After so many gallons of her tears falling in my lap, after so many things I did for her (some serious stuff which included giving her pretty big sums of money because SHE asked for it, talking with her parents who cried because of her choice, helping her in who knows how many situations, driving her to the doctors office with 15 red lights crossed, so that she would be ok, I bought her a 500 euro phone for birthday, etc) she confronts me and tells me: "you are the prison I was in, you held me back, you are the worst!" and turns her back on me, blocking me on every possible social network, IMs and phone SMS

What I realized: she took the "red pill" of her own, realizing that Vera and her friends consider her a lesbian slut, she turned her back for them also. In the meantime , she cried, and (thank you liberal fuckin world) around the corner, there was yet another lesbian for her to confide in, and some weird shit took place: She is openly gay with her, she came out. Even though she cried before, she swore she is eventually going to be straight, she didnt want even for me to accept that she is gay telling me she wont be, she didnt allow me to accept that, being mad at me for thinking so, and me telling her that I would accept because I now loved her, as a person, as a girl, without strings, adne even then she didnt want anyone to accept that she is gay. She is now with that Ana, and they are holding hands, kissing at the bus station, and the whole package (I can only contemplate a small breakdown when she decided to come out)

several months later (today) I gathered some information in yet another CSI style:

  • she never tried straight sex (definite fact, she told me she did with a guy named Mike when they were 16, and it turns out Mike is my neighbors boyfriend and dude told me he was not even with her in a relationship to begin with), went lesbian 17 years old with Nadia, she is now 24

  • she was MUCH more promiscuous than I was even aware: she fucked with at least 20 girls, she even had lesbian threesome, she is frequent goer to the gay club

  • at the time of her breakup with Nadia, she started fucking with Vera, with a girl I drove her to in 2 in the morning (Yana), and at that time Yana and Vera had a thing, with both of them having girlfriends of their own (fuck me, right ? )

  • Before meeting with "around the corner lesbian" Ana which is now her girlfriend, she had a fling with 2 random lesbians, for the kicks of it

Gay or straight, I cant even imagine how bad that life appears to be. She is slowly killing any potential, not the one I saw in her, but anything that she alone could come up with. I cant imagine lying to my closest friends, which she does daily, what a strain is to live such a double life with constant fear and paranoia of what the world is going to judge on you. She is mad (so I've heard) at Serbia, at everything, wants to go to EU to secure her life with a normal job, which I think it to be yet another "turn your back at the problem" instead of facing it - yeah, it's fucked up here but I consider life in serbia to be a really god game of Life, played at hard mode, what better is there than to beat it at "hard" .. ?

MY QUESTION:

Taking all this into account, should I just forget about it ? Am I now a "permanent" enemy of her lifestyle and there is no turning back, no potential epiphany for her, and she will never realize that I had my best interests for her (NOT to abandon gay life, but to make her own life better than it was, dont forget the shit those particular lesbians do, and did to her, and taught her to do on her own, from upper text)

and most importantly: will this kind of girl ever even try to be straight, once she missed her opportunity with me > someone really close to her, in whom she confided EVERYTHING except gay life, occasionally kissed with that occurring mind-block of hers, someone whom her parents considered her boyfriend and people that actually loved me, when not arguing about gay stuff we traveled, had adventures, unforgettable moments, etc .. ?

I would really appreciate some deep thoughts about all this. Please tell me that I should turn my back also, because I am on the brink of it, I actually dont want to do more CSI shit, and I am fully aware that she doesnt deserve shit from me, anymore. And especially, THANK YOU for reading all of this in advance