Hi, This is my first post here, in hope to get some good advice on this situation:

Our 5th anniversary is coming up, and we are going to celebrate it together and we have a couple of hours without our two kids. We've been talking about going out for lunch and visit the place for our ring exchange. Very romantic and I like it so far.

Now I of course also expect we have sex on our wedding day, sine that's the very core of the marriage. Brought this up but didn't get a good response at all. She says she's too tired, to stressed, feels pushed etc. In facts there is a lot of stress in our lives right now with many big changes happening at the same time which could be a plausible explanation for this since she is very sensitive to stress, and as with many women her will to have sex is the first thing that goes when she's under stress.

So I'm thinking about what to do here in an Assertive way. I could say something like

  • "If you are so tired we might better cancel the whole thing, and you can rest instead".
  • OR I could just be understanding and empathetic and say like "OK, if you dont feel like it you dont, lets celebrate anyway".

As you can see I only took the red pill recently and I am still not confident in my new role as leading the relationship. What are your thought about this situation? Celebrating wedding day without having sex feels like a pretty dull celebration, at the same time there are a lot going on, so should I just say "Honey, dont worry about it, lets celebrate just you and me and then I look forward to your lips around my cock once you feel better/the stress is over?" The thing is that we always have planned sex, i.e. we both know before that it's going to happen, spontaneous sex does not have a place in our marriage right now, which is also one of the things I want to change in the future. Thanks for your thoughts on this!