What would you do if your wife was raped?

DassDevil3456 · 2017-10-26T17:54:02+00:00

My wife of 5 years was raped.

We stopped being able to have sex, and while we used to sleep together naked since we dated, we stopped due to her PTSD. We'd fall asleep naked and then she'd wake up screaming, or crying at like 3:00 am and shouting, literally shouting for me to put my clothes back on. Then I'd try to hold her, sometimes she would let me, most often she wouldn't. And she would rock back and forth crying profusely.

About a year later she had an affair with a man she met at a club. She said she was "taking back her sexuality / sexual power". She said, "it had nothing to do with me and she loved me but this was her journey". She also started this thing where she would bait men by wearing sexually revealing outfits and even going to their room, they would make out--- then she would leave them with blue balls. Again, she said she was taking back her sexual power that men had stolen from her. This resulted in her getting raped AGAIN by at least one man. Several men beat her for doing that to them. (i don't have the statistics with me but a woman who is raped has a 52% chance of being raped again in the future).

About a year and a half after this she started having sex with women and saying that she felt safe, and taken care of then. So she would get drunk and hang out in gay bars in downtown. Again, throughout this whole process we were married and I was trying to "work through it" because the vows you make when you're married say you have to. So we were going to counseling. She started partying nightly and for started getting fucked up drunk every night.

She then switched religions.

Then she brought a guy home and let him nutt inside her in our bed, while wearing the wedding ring I got for her.

We got divorced, she took me to the cleaners and looking at her instagram, she's happily engaged to a butch woman she met in Phoenix. I've become a drunk, have lost most of my savings and women mean nothing to me anymore other than pussy. And what's most fucked up of all is that I feel nothing while I'm fucking them.

I loved my wife. After all this... I still love her. But, I'm not going to sprout RP bullshit, and I'm not going to tell you to leave her. I'm going to say every woman reacts differently. But you're the husband. Maybe your "love" can heal her.

But maybe you're about to be the rapist's second victim.

McVaghunter · 2017-10-26T14:00:17+00:00

If I agreed to stick by her side for better or worse then I'll assume the responsibility and take good care of her.

With that in mind, I'll never sign a contract, or even verbally agree to such bullshit. I never give promises I can't keep, and sticking with a female for worse is a dumb thing to promise.

Kommanderdude · 2017-10-26T14:42:21+00:00

She didn’t chose to be raped. Dumping her after you made vows because she was brutally attacked goes against the core principles of trp. Also dumping her at this time would also ensure you get very thorough anal pounding by the divorce courts. Because they will most certainly rape to the fullest extent if this is the reason you are leaving her.

Condolences if this actually happened to your wife.

I’m assuming you mean actual rape and not getting boned by Tyrone after work then claiming rape after you found out.

NexusReflexX · 2017-10-26T15:29:15+00:00

Ultimately, do what u want to do. People claiming hypergamy and spewing out redpill terms and fucking retarded, getting raped has nothing to do with "the nature of women."

Also, u are asking for advice from id say 99% of men who have NOT been in your situation. They dont know what youre feeling, only you do.

If u want to leave her, leave her. If you want to stay (which it seems like u do) stay.

This is NOT a black and white matter that you will find a "redpill" answer to.

Take what you know and how you feel, and apply it.

God forbid my lady ever got genuinely raped, i know i would feel like a piece of shit if i left BECAUSE of that.

Word of caution, if u do plan to leave her eventually, she may bring this up in the future into guilting you into staying. Just be wary.

But if u want a yes or no answer. Stay. If u have issues within ur marriage besides this, wait until this shit blows over and she is okay. U need to protect her and be a rock for her. Dont offer advice or guidance, as you have NO idea how she feels, and having not experienced being raped yourself, have no right to offer advice on her situation.

Just be there.

[deleted] · 2017-10-26T15:01:27+00:00

umm. I am sorry about what your wife is going through. Was the rapist caught?

SaneMan29 · 2017-10-26T14:49:47+00:00

This will probably get me down voted to oblivion, but fuck it.

If your wife of 8 years who you have two kids and a great marriage with genuinely gets raped and you bail on her then you should kill yourself.

ZCnegan · 2017-10-26T18:39:09+00:00

This is one of the most crucial redpill questions that should be asked. I asked it in the past. If your wife is raped you have no other choice than leaving her, Ill explain...

First of all your wife isnt yours. You are only with her because of many circumstances that put together allowed you to be with her. If you grew up in a post apocalyptic world you probably wouldn't be with her. You probably would be a warlord or a survivor in a group, the last thing you dedicate to was to a wife.

If society's illusion of security and etc...etc... are taken away, then all changes, as we know, marriage changes too. For example, in Arabia, prior to the advent of islam, most women were raped, or even suffered infanticide, marriage had no meaning and was highly unreliable.

Therefore marriage was created for you to know that the kids are yours, and that she will not have sex with other men, not even have the opportunity to do so. Make this invalid and marriage loses its meaning as it is happening at the moment.

Rape is used as a war weapon to destroy communities. And the sad reality is that it is in fact very effective. When rape and mass rape is used in communities, it destroys them more than anything else. War rape is perpetrated purposefuly in front of the families, because it intends to aim the family rather than the woman. The men of the community who were present suffer from trauma as badly as the women victims themselves, they dont marry the women that were raped, and often split and flee to other places never to come back. It is a biological psychological and physical weapon. And it is often silent, because the communities feel ashamed of admiting it, yet everyone is aware and knows that it happens. Even if they try to ignore it, then they cant ignore the babies being born, the diseases and the psycho social effect that it has in the community. It is like spreading the plague on the enemy instead of killing them, it is far more effective.

You cant turn around the issue of your wife being raped. She had sex with another men, even if not consensual, it is still sex. Many women orgasm during rape, of course, this causes her even more trauma. Especially when both partners know that the woman was raped things tend to go south really fast. Sexual intimacy wont be the same. Everytime you have sex with her she will be remembering it and you too. This is not to say that for many months after she will not want to have sex with you. She might even start seeing you differently. And all the time you will spend trying to help her, it wont help at all, it will only make her feel more pressure. Biologically and evolutionary speaking her instincts will tell her that the world and the environment where she is living is not safe enough and that you were not strong enough to protect her.

Why is this one of the biggest redpill questions to be asked? Because it proves that women are not yours, and not a safe investment, especially in the world as it is. It is highly unreliable and not natural for a man to be with a woman long term, we were not designed for it, get over it. And we are talking about violent rape, that was against their will, imagine what happens when she cheats on you. Not to say the cock carousel all women become professional riders these days before 20's, has a similar effect in the female psyche (although perhaps no traumatizing), she is beyond recovery after that.

Therefore, there is nothing you can do. For her own good and for your own good, after rape you must break up and move on. Also, this only applies to the cases that are real, and that as we know most cases today are false, and just pretexts for women agendas and victimization.

I know I will get hate for this comment. But Im telling the truth so I dont care.

LordThunderbolt · 2017-10-26T14:14:44+00:00

I'd leave chances are she'd become a broken person with a plethora of mental issues which would be taken out on me and the kids. I've been raped by a woman who out Xanax in my drink at a party and almost killed me due to cardiac arrest. She even tried it a second time at another party but my bros stopped her. I'm far from a broken individual shit happens I moved on. Women usually don't. Maybe that makes me a dick but I'm living for me.

TopTRP · 2017-10-26T15:03:06+00:00

It's in men's nature to protect the weak.

I know instinctually I'd want to stick it out and help her but.........

Knowing that the vast majority of women would not (and do not) do the same if the roles were reversed, would make me more apt to ditch her.

That's the redpill talking, treat women according to their true nature, not their perceived nature.

Aaren_Augustine · 2017-10-26T14:08:16+00:00

Ah, the anti-unicorn question. Would you stay in a relationship where there's no possibility of desire...oi vay

red-arctic-tern · 2017-10-26T15:39:41+00:00

You can dump her. She would do the same without blinking an eye.

If you don't dump her she still has to perform her feminine duties. You will support her emotionally off course, like you always do.

[deleted] · 2017-10-26T15:01:17+00:00

Lets say you had a wife of 8 years

I wouldn't. Next question.

RPShitlord · 2017-10-26T15:23:53+00:00

I wouldn't leave only in that specific scenario, but the wife would have to accept plates until her sexuality with me returns to normal.

No kids, I split. Young kid and she was already on thin ice, I split.

Problem is, "rape" is oftentimes used as a cover up for inappropriate activities. She goes for drinks with a man, and goes up to his hotel room. She calls it rape. Her BF probably doesn't.

Also, actions must reflect words. Physical injury not consistent even with rough sex, police called and reports filed, rape kit taken.

If she's not forthcoming about details, very little or single area of injury, refuses to file report and give physical descriptions of rapist, showers and washes away the evidence, then there's cause to be concerned. It all comes down to the individual.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2017-10-26T16:26:18+00:00

I work from home and I am a crack shot; I’d run the ”Mozambique Drill” on the guy before he unzipped.

quicklogaccount · 2017-10-26T17:05:09+00:00

Man, be rational about it.

You can afford to help her. FOR a while. At some point it'll become sacrificial for you, and after a while you'll start hamstering and acting like a dick, charging your sexual frustration on her, and it'll only screw her further.

How much of your own emotional welfare you'll sacrifice, how long "for a while" will last, is something you'll chose based on your morality and how much she's worth for you. Has she been perfect? Has she been a nagging and whining woman with whom you can't lose frame for a second?
So, basically, look at the problem, support her while you can and how you can in the most effective way you can, then give up.

There are alternatives to give up:
- Cheat and get validated as a sexual being by other women;
- Not cheat (have her agreeing);
- "Take a break", be supportive but free;
- Start a divorce.

Now, me:
- There's no chance I'll stay committed to a nagging woman and I'm smart enough to notice it before we marry, so she's a good chick. Knowing myself, "while" can last almost one year before I start going nuts;
- Although I suppose I can cheat properly despite never having tried, I'd go with taking a break.

In the end you were both unlucky but the extent of the damage you take from the whole situation doesn't correlate a lot with how much you're able to help her.
Going past a point is a lot like caring for parents with Azheimer's personally instead of having them institutionalized. Looks good, sounds good for strangers, but the burden it takes on you fucks you and you're not helping them at all.
The difference is, maybe you'll always be able to help a raped wife a bit but there's certainly a point beyond you'll be fucking yourself a lot to help her just a bit. Still irrational. You still have a life to live and kids to raise.

She now needs counseling, therapy, and is on medication to help her through the immediate trauma. You have to do everything (kids, house, finances) while she gets her much needed therapy.

Oh. By the way, there are women and women around. Most will gladly embrace the victim role if they're enabled to, many will step and and work through their shit. My ex loved the victim role, my current abhors it. I suppose we'd turn out fine if some shit like that happens.

Westernhagen · 2017-10-26T13:49:31+00:00

Hard next.

Jyontaitaa · 2017-10-26T17:29:59+00:00

This is not a relevant question for the red pill; which doesn’t advocate getting married in the first place.

It’s like asking a Muslim how to find the love of Jesus.

PaperStreetVilla · 2017-10-26T14:56:32+00:00

Is this you? Or is this mental masturbation

Title	What would you do if your wife was raped?
Author	jay_jay_man
Upvotes	16
Comments	81
Date	October 26, 2017 1:37 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/78vlid/what_would_you_do_if_your_wife_was_raped/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/what-would-you-do-if-your-wife-was-raped.116993 https://theredarchive.com/post/116993