I've been getting into meditation and into 'grounding myself' a lot lately. A big part of this is seeing life for what it is. I used to be very positive about our world. I am still extremely happy for having the gift of being alive, but I am not positive about our world anymore. This video just hit me like a truck - again - and I just felt like I can't handle it anymore. I literally get sick when imagining myself being this obedient slave of society just waddling along, saying yes to whatever bullshit the government asks, whichever rights they want to infringe on today.
I've often been told I'm a hell of a public speaker, and that I should definitely make a run for it in politics.
I'm thinking that although I despise government and especially our politicians - that this is what I have to do. It just feels like a calling.
But I can't half ass it. I'll probably arm myself with the 48 laws and many of Machiavelli's 'teachings' and go full in. But I can't help but feel resistance, and everytime I see a cute old lady or grandpa, I just feel my heart warm and think 'ugh, why do you need that power. be a good person! :) :)' and then moments later I'll be hit with reality (news of a terror attack with 300+ dead), and I'll revert back to 'fuck this world. life's a game. play to win. obtain power.'
Been having this internal struggle for a while - what do you recommend?