Both late twenties, lived together almost a year. I pay all expenses, she moved into my apartment (I know). I honestly felt like I could cherry pick TRP methods and disregard the ones that didn’t go with what I was wanting to do. I dropped my plates and let a girl move in with me that had a high n count and baggage with her ex.
Last month sex, affection, deep conversation dropped off a cliff. Went from awesome sex every day to starfish or blowjob when I asked. She would never say no so I just thought it was a funk, but it raised my alert.
She brought in some mail after work last week and in it was mail from her old address, the one with her ex. I asked about it and she had a wonderful excuse, so I dropped it.
It’s been eating me alive on the inside so I checked her Mac laptop yesterday and could see two weeks of conversation. She must have deleted the previous convo because what I could see was mid conversation, they’ve been talking for much longer.
In those two weeks of conversations she’s sending him recipes, asking about a job he applied for, telling him shit me and her talked about like her applying for new jobs and losing some weight. The last thing she sent was “lunch today at noon?” With him saying “yep”.
Long story short when she came home I told her I know she’s been lying to me and seeing her ex. Told her she needs to get her stuff and leave within 30 days (pretty sure that’s the law here). Told her I didn’t want to talk to her about it, didn’t want an explanation, just wanted her gone. I told her I wouldn’t be mean to her or purposefully make her jealous or anything, I said I just want you to leave without drama.
She cried and cried, didn’t really explain herself. Just apologized over and over and said she didn’t mean to hurt me and it’s not what I think. She said they were just good friends (5 years together) and she couldn’t let his friendship go. She promised they didn’t have sex =]
I half ass know what needs to be done. I obviously need to start lifting again - I let myself gain 25 pounds over the year - and hit the sidebar. Luckily for me at least one of my old plates is happy I’m single, already sending me dirty shit she wants to do to make me happy.
As I said I’m going to hit the sidebar from the top down and get myself together. I’d appreciate any articles, quotes or anything else I can read to help me get over the betrayal and realize it just is what it is and to move on.
TLDR; live in girlfriend talking to ex, going on lunch dates etc. Broke up and kicked her out, need reading material to get over the hump and stay positive.