My experience of spinning (and then breaking) first plate and losing my v-card in late 20s. This is a long rant, mostly just for my records.

TLDR -

Having trouble keeping a plate spinning without making steps towards commitment. Also, fucking a friend’s crush behind his back and then feeling bad for lying to him. Questions at the end.

Introduction -

I met my plate at work (we are both in retail) and it was unexpectedly easy to get her number, go on a first date and have sex by the end of the second date. Our first time having sex was somewhat of a disaster but I managed to recover. The following 6 months we would see each other (she would come over to my place) and fuck about 3 times/week. After having

  • moved to a new city
  • finding work
  • had taken the pill about 2 years ago
  • been lifting for about 3 years
  • spinning my first plate

I was feeling pretty good.

Meeting Her -

Being in retail, my work had a healthy amount of young women in their teens and early twenties. Before my plate started there, I had been there for about 6 months and had known and built rapport with all the women at work (and customers). I was considered a huge flirt. The beauty about my job was that through quick transactions, I was able to hone my skills in flirting and opening cute girls, so when it came time to ask my plate out, it was incredibly easy.

Initial Assessment of Her -

I was happy about having her as plate/fwb because she is young (20 yr old) and seemed really soft-spoken with pretty good judgement regarding social situations (being discreet) and her future (education, work, friends, etc.). She has a fantastic body (perky b-cup tits, a small waist, big round bubble butt and long legs). Her face is so-so, so overall I’d give her a 7.5-8.5/10. She was easily the top 3 most attractive women at my work out of dozens of other girls.

The Rise -

When we first started hanging out, she would absolutely adore me. It was unreal to receive so much attention and affection from her. I never showed my surprise though. I acted like I had experienced these feelings before when in reality it was all new to me. Also it was a lot of fun keeping our relationship secret from everybody at work.

Taking Precautions -

Fully aware of keeping our fwb relationship on my terms, I never did ask her about her past boyfriends and relationships. Nor did I talk about mine (or lack thereof). It always remained a mystery to her. I was also careful not to put labels on us, like bf or gf. Just friends hanging out.

The Fall -

This started around half-way between the 6 month mark. She took a 3 week vacation to a different state to hangout with old friends. My philosophy regarding this was: out of sight, out of mind. Even though I did miss her, I never showed it. Also, my reputation that I had earned at work (being a flirt and very very social) somehow changed in her eyes upon her return IMO. After growing closer and getting to know each other, she saw how dedicated I am to improving my situation economically for me and my family. She learned I don’t go out as much and party (as was implied before) and I do spend a lot of my time reading and studying and lifting. However, I was also very careful not to show weakness in my struggle. I made it look as effortless as I could. Also around the 3 month point of us knowing each other, I changed jobs. I found a different job with higher pay and better hours, but unfortunately less human interaction and older coworkers.

The Break -

After not going out with her enough (our “dates” were typically netflix and chill), not seeing her often due to different jobs and not wanting to recognize her as my gf, I think she had enough. She broke it off. She gave no ultimatum or explanation and just decided that we shouldn’t see each other anymore. We’ll still be friendly if we run into each other, but otherwise our hangouts are over.

Final Assessment of Her -

Although she appeared innocent, I learned how much of a hoe she was/is. She would tell me of her party days in high school and how wild she was. Also, the first night we were to fuck, she wanted me to fuck her raw when I was having trouble fucking her with a condom. Definitely failed the The Slut Test (see here). Also, I have no doubt that she fooled around with another dude while on her 3 week vacation.

Putting Hoes Before Bros -

Another event related to all this was how I basically deceived a former coworker and friend. Because my plate and I were in agreement about keeping our hangouts secret, I wasn’t able to tell that friend that I was fucking my plate, his crush. He had known her for years and has had a massive crush on her since they were teenagers. I now feel guilty about having lied to him that I wasn’t seeing my plate. It didn’t really affect his chances anyway as my plate had told me she felt no attraction to him (he is really beta when it comes to girls he likes and super out of shape). He is a really cool dude though and we had built a friendship on honesty and common interests.

Questions -

  • One thing I would like to fix is, how to keep the momentum going? Eventually all plates fall and break, but what to do to prolong that honeymoon happy phase as long as possible?

  • Is the situation with my former coworker unrepairable? Even though he’s beta and out of shape, he really is a cool, social dude who knows a lot of people and is frequently the life of the party. Of course he doesn’t know anything about me and my former plate, but the guilt is kind of eating at me. Also, maybe I should be honest with him before my former plate tells him anything. It might be better that it come from me.

Here are the lessons learned and reinforced by these events:

  • If you can, get a job with human interactions. It’s a great way to practice building rapport and opening complete strangers, if that’s something you need to practice.

  • Never show weakness to your women. She will think less of you even though she may not want to.

  • Bros before hoes. If finding premium pussy is hard enough, finding great friendships with other men is even more difficult.

  • Wear a condom. Especially when fucking random sloots.

  • When one plate breaks, move on to spinning a next one. Always on to the next one.

Writing this out has really helped, and for those that read some of it, thank you.