LTR of 4 years asked "Either we will marry or I want to break-up". Dumped her, now she went crazy. How to proceed?

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February 26, 2018

My ex (25 yo female) asked me that stupid question about a week ago, I said marriage is not going to change anything, we wont have mutual investment fund or smth (I make $20k more than her), I don't want a baby and I feel too young for marriage.

She literally implied that she wants to marry just because her best friend is recently engaded. She had been liking wedding pics, wedding cakes and rings all day on instagram for the last few weeks after this.

So anyway, I dumped her and she went crazy. She is making up stories to her friends about me, claiming I was beating her (never hit her), accusing me for cheating, sending "sexy texts" to my friends.

She wasn't crazy before, she is a computer science major, has hobbies like paragliding, reads a lot but now she is acting 100% different. How to remove her from my life?

Post Information
Title LTR of 4 years asked "Either we will marry or I want to break-up". Dumped her, now she went crazy. How to proceed?
Author funky-monk76
Upvotes 107
Comments 51
Date 26 February 2018 05:15 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
cheatinglong term relationship

[–]fnordsnord 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

This will PROBABLY pass, but you might want to take some simple precautions.

First, never, ever allow yourself to be alone with her again. Avoid being around her if you can.

Second, unfriend, unfollow, or block her on all social media.

Third, tell your TIGHTEST circle what you told us. Include your parents, and your closet homies. (She said marry or break up, so I broke up, now she's saying things about me that aren't true.)

You made the right decision here. There might have been some steps you could have taken to mitigate the fallout, but if this is her reaction to a breakup, imagine how bad it could have gotten if you were permanently shackled to her.

[–]Narcissist45613 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

OP dodged a bullet big TIME. Makes me proud.

[–]wataDs2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You put it better than i could. Ghost, limit damage control to those who will actually believe you, and weather the storm. There's nothing more you can really do. People will believe who they want to believe in a situation like this.

[–]petallotus112 points113 points  (12 children) | Copy

She’s probably posting on r/twoxchromosomes right now about how abusive you are.

[–]jb_trp60 points61 points  (1 child) | Copy

OP dodged a bullet. He better not hook up with her again, or she might go "Oops, my birth control didn't work!" and try to hook him in. Also, if she comes back in a few weeks explaining she's 10 days late, OP better lawyer up and demand a paternity test.

[–]remember_that_girl 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

My god, what a sub. A whole new world.

Opened the first random thread, a woman at BMI 28.3 complains that "she's not really fat" but her boyfriend wouldn't have sex with her.

Good lord.

[–]McDrMuffinMan5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

When you have to make sure everyone agrees with your delusions

[–]AshyBoneVR42 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hamsters get lonely too.

[–]Big_Red_suppository1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

When they first made it a default sub I remember wondering why every time I went to Reddit without logging in there would be a 20k upvoted post along the lines of "I'm so proud of my abortion" on the front page.

I'm not necessarily pro-life but I find it odd how they get wet thinking about abortions. Strange place.

[–]SalomonG188 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

That subreddit is cancer, first time ive seen it

[–]UltraCarnivore1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Detailed accounts of baby murder every single day.

[–]UshankaDalek 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

It's a default subreddit when you create a new account.

[–]SalomonG181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's so messed up lol

[–]AshyBoneVR42 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got banned form that sub months ago for posting in r/pussypassdenied or something like that. Shit's fucking great. I used to love going there and trolling the fuck outta everything posted. It was like a pat on the back the day I got the ban notice.

[–]addwater1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]1atticusfinch197349 points50 points  (1 child) | Copy

Now she’s shown you her true colours. You made a smart decision. Ignore and block and move on.

[–]1ANGRY_ATHEIST13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Imagine what this breakdown would have looked like with a divorce and kids involved.

(I don't have to imagine, I've been there, but still... OP dodged a bullet)

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen74 points75 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ignore and play down if people ask you about it. She will usually isolate herself when having this kind of meltdown. Peole will know it's horseshit.

Just block her everywhere.

[–]FatGirlsInPartyHats28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly. She just wants attention. Don't give it to her or give her the ability to generate it.

[–]lookoutitscaleb1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This. Had a similar experience. She tried to tell my family I was crazy and needed professional help.

Ignore and blocked her on everything. When people brought up what she said to them I would laugh and tell them it wasn't true.

She eventually did the same thing to two other men in my city and everyone now knows she's a psycho.

[–]dreadfrog34 points35 points  (1 child) | Copy

It appears your ex caught wedopathy. This is a highly contagious disease transmitted by liking her friends' wedding pictures on facebook. Onset seems to occur at around age 25 or later.

She had been liking wedding pics, wedding cakes and rings all day on instagram for the last few weeks after this.

aka hamster catnip

After she sees how happy her friends were on their Very Special Day Because It Is All About Her (aka, attentionus whoritus) she wants in, of course. By the time you noticed, it was already terminal, as her hamster had already laid out all the plans, and your approval was merely a formality. If she spent weeks gazing at these pictures, her brain is probably sort-circuited by now, she musta been in full disney princess mode.

In fact, she imagined you proposing so many times that it had already become real (women have the power to bend reality, at least until it snaps back right into their faces).

She hamstered it SO HARRRRRD for 3 weeks it was really truly real! So, now, she has to either unwind her hamster to accept reality, or blame it all on you. One of the two seems a lot easier than the other! Congratulations, everything is now your fault.

Good thing you had some redpill on you! Or it could have turned into a carcinomatous wifoma. Symptoms include adipose growths of up to 200 pounds (per side), excessive metabolism of your money, and early onset tinnitus for you due to excessive drama.

[–]bleuge2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Woa, this was so fun! xD

[–]1kick652 points53 points  (5 children) | Copy

Women are generally unprepared for not getting what they want. Add in yiu rejecting her sexually/relationally, and you literally just dropped the biggest bomb on her she's ever faced. It's no surprise she's acting absurdly.

[–]CaptureEverything17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very good point. Most women have EASY lives, which is good because it lets men be men, but it also has the side effect of making relationships and drama the single most important things to them. What is a stepping stone and a hard decision for OP is the absolute worst thing thats ever happened ever in her eyes. Cataclysmic. Stick to your guns.

[–]funky-monk76 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

I remember when we first started dating, I was driving to her house and she wanted me to pull over so she can visit a store (probably it was Banana Republic or Zara), I wasn't even aware of RP on that time but traffic was insane so I decided to say"no" without any further explanation. I cannot describe how shocked she was, like she never heard "no" word before.

[–]1kick69 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can't say she had never heard no before, but it was probably a rarity. Blame daddy...if she even has one.

[–]kimchi-22 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

He didn't reject her sexually, he just refused to be pinned down by her as a guaranteed financial provider for the rest of her life.

[–]1kick62 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Implicit in the ultimatum is "I'll take my pussy and go home."

[–]askmrcia17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy

You obviously made the right decision. If she's acting like that now just imagine the shit storm that would come your way had you signed those papers.

[–]smirk_addict16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is the most red pill shit I’ve read in a while. A seemingly level headed woman you’ve been with for 4 whole years got wedding fever watching her friend and tried to pressure you into an engagement. You walked away and now she’s turned into a completely different person and is trying to make your life miserable. You probably would’ve saw this monster after the engagement. You did great. Just ride out the storm. Women always attempt to ruin your social standing because that’s what they hold more dear than anything else. Couple that with their sense of entitlement. In her head, you brutally handicapped her. So she’s trying to do the same to you. Just block her on everything you can and block or cut off people who believe her lies.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

This isn't to tell you what to do, but explain why it happened.

First, she wasn't wanting marriage, she was jealous of the attention and social boost her friend was getting via the wedding. She wanted that as well, that's all. (Giving her an exciting exotic trip ripe for selfies likely would have diffused this).

When you dumped her, her social standing tanked and she was standing there with egg on her face. She couldnt exactly tell everyone, especially that friend getting commitment, that her bf chose to dump her over commuting to her or that she gave you an ultimatum.

So, she can't tell the truth and if she does nothing, she's socially bankrupt. So, she years you down to look good in comparison and makes herself a protected class by being a victim. It's an emergency escape pod method of survival.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You did the right thing.

Block her on everything and ignore anything you hear about her from other sources.

[–]keep_improving6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

By being very careful now and if you can afford it talk to a lawyer regarding the false claims and let him tell you how to protect yourself in your jurisdiction.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She wants to marry you so she can show off on social media and "stack up" to her friends.

You're making a very wise decision in not proposing to her.

[–]RedSkeller1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly you did well. You don't have to put up with or continue to listen to that nonsense, but most guys will. Be the bigger person and let her talk shit and only say nice things when prompted. She's someone else's problem and will probably always be miserable if her end goal is a ring.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

As long as it's to her friends and you can sufficiently absorb the heat-such as keep your friends and family away from her. I would tell the important people the whole truth before anything else.

I would say: Yo guys I just broke up with my GF because I refused to marry her and I have proof of the texts that she wants to because all her friends are getting engaged which I thought was a silly reason. She is saying untrue shit and if you hear it-come to me first or simply ignore her. Explain your reasoning if you have more.

This way your folks are hardened before it hits their ears and know to take any of it with a grain of salt. She is probably trying to capitalize on MeToo because everyone believes everything these days haha.

[–]menial_optimist1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good thing you resisted and went with what you truly felt. I have a buddy who dated damaged good for 2 years and then she really started turning up the marriage heat on him. He eventually did it mainly in my mind to get laid (she would not sex before marriage). When he broke the news to me pre-wedding I asked why marriage? He said "because she wants it and it will make her happy" literally verbatim. Then I asked why her happiness took priority over his own, and he said it just does. He acted like somehow I didn't understand love and that he shouldn't even have to explain anything. Now years later they have a baby and shes gained like 60 pounds. Cellulite everywhere etc.

One night she said verbatim "I don't need to impress him anymore, we're marreid". Now his life consists of taking care of his child on one hand and numerous pointless little chores his wife cooks up.

[–]DiebytheSword6661 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You were with her for four years, and she seemed normal. Now after the breakup, she's making up lies? That's just insane. Did you see any red flags before this? If you would have married her, and later divorced, she sounds like the type who would have made up lies to get the house, kids, family dog, etc. Wait... but she DID make up lies.

You have some amazing bullet-dodging skills. With your luck, you should buy some lottery tickets. To answer your question, I'd just delete her from social media and change your number. If you break up with someone, you can still be friendly and cordial, but not after what she's done. No way.

[–]Metalageddon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's not uncommon.

Some girls, they're great people until they don't get the thing they want most. It's easy when all they want is for you to be fucking them, the moment you say no to commitment they go insane.

[–]Original_Username71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, thought I'd married the most sane, submissive, easy-going, normal woman in the world... after we had our first child (adopted, so not post-partum) it was like a switch flipped in her brain and she became this insufferable cunt. To try to further force her control over me when I wasn't having it, she left to stay with her family for a while, when that didn't work, she just kept ratcheting it up, thinking I would eventually cave, but I didn't. All through that time, she started making up all these lies about me being abusive and mentally deranged, in order to get the support of her family and friends. I'd almost never caught her in a lie before all this, but she quickly became a fountain of lies. You'll think you're with the best woman in the world, until something changes and you find out how evil they can be.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She literally implied that she wants to marry just because her best friend is recently engaded.

That's how that shit works. Women are herd animals. If you marry her, then what? One of her girlfriends gets preggo. Guess what she'll want after that.

How to remove her from my life?

Take her back. Go full beta for a month. She will dump you.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ignore that stuff, she needs to get it out of her system and not much you can do.

How does parasailing become a hobby? It's like an amusement park ride.

[–]Borsao662 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

3.5 billion other women. Find one that gets it.

[–]Martysteiner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The fact that she's lying about you to everyone will create an idea in everyone's mind that "she's lying". This is the basic human psychology that a statement without evidence becomes bullshit over time.

Don't worry about your reputation, simply ignore her(including social media).

Ans remember that you just witnessed and dodged what she would become in 10 years.

[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

How to remove her from my life?

Block her, don't call her, avoid her when you see her, don't respond to her outreaches to you. Same way to remove anybody from your life.

If anybody asks you about any incidences where she accuses you of violence, just say 'None of your business' or 'We have broken up'. Assume that anybody asking you about it is White Knighting and is recording your conversation.

[–]1walawalawa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You did the right thing. Now you see: All Women Are Like That... (AWALT)

[–]Psilotheos0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hey OP, I went through something similar; my ex-fiance did all the same except she reported me for domestic abuse to the police aswell. It has something to do with their social status, it is unfathomable for them to be "dumped" so they turn it back on you in the most sick and "convincing" ways. Don't worry though it'll all be over soon and not many people will actually believe her if she's putting up such a front. My ex ended up getting the name Britney Spears because of her doing all the same shit and people weren't buying it

[–]earthmother92[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You dodged a bullet right there.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She was always crazy. It just revealed itself.

How do you remove her? You need a lesson in not talking to someone?

[–]quicklogaccount0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She's not going to harm your reputation, no worries about it.

Despite of that you realize that she has a point there right? A lot more important for her than for you but still valid for you.

[–]Euphoricentia-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

Move along, let me marry her

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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