LTR of 4 years asked "Either we will marry or I want to break-up". Dumped her, now she went crazy. How to proceed?

fnordsnord · 2018-02-26T19:41:47+00:00

This will PROBABLY pass, but you might want to take some simple precautions.

First, never, ever allow yourself to be alone with her again. Avoid being around her if you can.

Second, unfriend, unfollow, or block her on all social media.

Third, tell your TIGHTEST circle what you told us. Include your parents, and your closet homies. (She said marry or break up, so I broke up, now she's saying things about me that aren't true.)

You made the right decision here. There might have been some steps you could have taken to mitigate the fallout, but if this is her reaction to a breakup, imagine how bad it could have gotten if you were permanently shackled to her.

petallotus · 2018-02-26T17:43:24+00:00

She’s probably posting on r/twoxchromosomes right now about how abusive you are.

atticusfinch1973 · 2018-02-26T17:38:08+00:00

Now she’s shown you her true colours. You made a smart decision. Ignore and block and move on.

vandaalen · 2018-02-26T17:20:44+00:00

Ignore and play down if people ask you about it. She will usually isolate herself when having this kind of meltdown. Peole will know it's horseshit.

Just block her everywhere.

dreadfrog · 2018-02-26T19:42:37+00:00

It appears your ex caught wedopathy. This is a highly contagious disease transmitted by liking her friends' wedding pictures on facebook. Onset seems to occur at around age 25 or later.

She had been liking wedding pics, wedding cakes and rings all day on instagram for the last few weeks after this.

aka hamster catnip

After she sees how happy her friends were on their Very Special Day Because It Is All About Her (aka, attentionus whoritus) she wants in, of course. By the time you noticed, it was already terminal, as her hamster had already laid out all the plans, and your approval was merely a formality. If she spent weeks gazing at these pictures, her brain is probably sort-circuited by now, she musta been in full disney princess mode.

In fact, she imagined you proposing so many times that it had already become real (women have the power to bend reality, at least until it snaps back right into their faces).

She hamstered it SO HARRRRRD for 3 weeks it was really truly real! So, now, she has to either unwind her hamster to accept reality, or blame it all on you. One of the two seems a lot easier than the other! Congratulations, everything is now your fault.

Good thing you had some redpill on you! Or it could have turned into a carcinomatous wifoma. Symptoms include adipose growths of up to 200 pounds (per side), excessive metabolism of your money, and early onset tinnitus for you due to excessive drama.

kick6 · 2018-02-26T18:22:11+00:00

Women are generally unprepared for not getting what they want. Add in yiu rejecting her sexually/relationally, and you literally just dropped the biggest bomb on her she's ever faced. It's no surprise she's acting absurdly.

askmrcia · 2018-02-26T17:53:59+00:00

You obviously made the right decision. If she's acting like that now just imagine the shit storm that would come your way had you signed those papers.

smirk_addict · 2018-02-26T19:22:43+00:00

This is the most red pill shit I’ve read in a while. A seemingly level headed woman you’ve been with for 4 whole years got wedding fever watching her friend and tried to pressure you into an engagement. You walked away and now she’s turned into a completely different person and is trying to make your life miserable. You probably would’ve saw this monster after the engagement. You did great. Just ride out the storm. Women always attempt to ruin your social standing because that’s what they hold more dear than anything else. Couple that with their sense of entitlement. In her head, you brutally handicapped her. So she’s trying to do the same to you. Just block her on everything you can and block or cut off people who believe her lies.

[deleted] · 2018-02-27T02:36:55+00:00

This isn't to tell you what to do, but explain why it happened.

First, she wasn't wanting marriage, she was jealous of the attention and social boost her friend was getting via the wedding. She wanted that as well, that's all. (Giving her an exciting exotic trip ripe for selfies likely would have diffused this).

When you dumped her, her social standing tanked and she was standing there with egg on her face. She couldnt exactly tell everyone, especially that friend getting commitment, that her bf chose to dump her over commuting to her or that she gave you an ultimatum.

So, she can't tell the truth and if she does nothing, she's socially bankrupt. So, she years you down to look good in comparison and makes herself a protected class by being a victim. It's an emergency escape pod method of survival.

[deleted] · 2018-02-26T17:25:57+00:00

You did the right thing.

Block her on everything and ignore anything you hear about her from other sources.

keep_improving · 2018-02-26T17:20:42+00:00

By being very careful now and if you can afford it talk to a lawyer regarding the false claims and let him tell you how to protect yourself in your jurisdiction.

[deleted] · 2018-02-26T19:43:58+00:00

She wants to marry you so she can show off on social media and "stack up" to her friends.

You're making a very wise decision in not proposing to her.

RedSkeller · 2018-02-26T18:36:34+00:00

Honestly you did well. You don't have to put up with or continue to listen to that nonsense, but most guys will. Be the bigger person and let her talk shit and only say nice things when prompted. She's someone else's problem and will probably always be miserable if her end goal is a ring.

[deleted] · 2018-02-26T19:28:22+00:00

As long as it's to her friends and you can sufficiently absorb the heat-such as keep your friends and family away from her. I would tell the important people the whole truth before anything else.

I would say: Yo guys I just broke up with my GF because I refused to marry her and I have proof of the texts that she wants to because all her friends are getting engaged which I thought was a silly reason. She is saying untrue shit and if you hear it-come to me first or simply ignore her. Explain your reasoning if you have more.

This way your folks are hardened before it hits their ears and know to take any of it with a grain of salt. She is probably trying to capitalize on MeToo because everyone believes everything these days haha.

menial_optimist · 2018-02-26T20:41:54+00:00

Good thing you resisted and went with what you truly felt. I have a buddy who dated damaged good for 2 years and then she really started turning up the marriage heat on him. He eventually did it mainly in my mind to get laid (she would not sex before marriage). When he broke the news to me pre-wedding I asked why marriage? He said "because she wants it and it will make her happy" literally verbatim. Then I asked why her happiness took priority over his own, and he said it just does. He acted like somehow I didn't understand love and that he shouldn't even have to explain anything. Now years later they have a baby and shes gained like 60 pounds. Cellulite everywhere etc.

One night she said verbatim "I don't need to impress him anymore, we're marreid". Now his life consists of taking care of his child on one hand and numerous pointless little chores his wife cooks up.

DiebytheSword666 · 2018-02-27T01:05:32+00:00

You were with her for four years, and she seemed normal. Now after the breakup, she's making up lies? That's just insane. Did you see any red flags before this? If you would have married her, and later divorced, she sounds like the type who would have made up lies to get the house, kids, family dog, etc. Wait... but she DID make up lies.

You have some amazing bullet-dodging skills. With your luck, you should buy some lottery tickets. To answer your question, I'd just delete her from social media and change your number. If you break up with someone, you can still be friendly and cordial, but not after what she's done. No way.

Original_Username7 · 2018-02-27T06:00:47+00:00

Dude, thought I'd married the most sane, submissive, easy-going, normal woman in the world... after we had our first child (adopted, so not post-partum) it was like a switch flipped in her brain and she became this insufferable cunt. To try to further force her control over me when I wasn't having it, she left to stay with her family for a while, when that didn't work, she just kept ratcheting it up, thinking I would eventually cave, but I didn't. All through that time, she started making up all these lies about me being abusive and mentally deranged, in order to get the support of her family and friends. I'd almost never caught her in a lie before all this, but she quickly became a fountain of lies. You'll think you're with the best woman in the world, until something changes and you find out how evil they can be.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-02-27T11:10:03+00:00

She literally implied that she wants to marry just because her best friend is recently engaded.

That's how that shit works. Women are herd animals. If you marry her, then what? One of her girlfriends gets preggo. Guess what she'll want after that.

How to remove her from my life?

Take her back. Go full beta for a month. She will dump you.

[deleted] · 2018-02-26T17:22:23+00:00

Ignore that stuff, she needs to get it out of her system and not much you can do.

How does parasailing become a hobby? It's like an amusement park ride.

Borsao66 · 2018-02-26T17:20:21+00:00

3.5 billion other women. Find one that gets it.

Martysteiner · 2018-02-26T22:40:02+00:00

The fact that she's lying about you to everyone will create an idea in everyone's mind that "she's lying". This is the basic human psychology that a statement without evidence becomes bullshit over time.

Don't worry about your reputation, simply ignore her(including social media).

Ans remember that you just witnessed and dodged what she would become in 10 years.

juliusstreicher · 2018-02-26T22:42:30+00:00

How to remove her from my life?

Block her, don't call her, avoid her when you see her, don't respond to her outreaches to you. Same way to remove anybody from your life.

If anybody asks you about any incidences where she accuses you of violence, just say 'None of your business' or 'We have broken up'. Assume that anybody asking you about it is White Knighting and is recording your conversation.

walawalawa · 2018-02-26T23:31:03+00:00

You did the right thing. Now you see: All Women Are Like That... (AWALT)

Psilotheos · 2018-02-27T00:09:37+00:00

Hey OP, I went through something similar; my ex-fiance did all the same except she reported me for domestic abuse to the police aswell. It has something to do with their social status, it is unfathomable for them to be "dumped" so they turn it back on you in the most sick and "convincing" ways. Don't worry though it'll all be over soon and not many people will actually believe her if she's putting up such a front. My ex ended up getting the name Britney Spears because of her doing all the same shit and people weren't buying it

earthmother92 · 2018-02-27T07:24:37+00:00

You dodged a bullet right there.

[deleted] · 2018-02-27T12:44:27+00:00

She was always crazy. It just revealed itself.

How do you remove her? You need a lesson in not talking to someone?

quicklogaccount · 2018-02-26T18:53:44+00:00

She's not going to harm your reputation, no worries about it.

Despite of that you realize that she has a point there right? A lot more important for her than for you but still valid for you.

Euphoricentia · 2018-02-26T23:53:09+00:00

Move along, let me marry her

Title	LTR of 4 years asked "Either we will marry or I want to break-up". Dumped her, now she went crazy. How to proceed?
Author	funky-monk76
Upvotes	107
Comments	51
Date	February 26, 2018 5:15 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/80empj/ltr_of_4_years_asked_either_we_will_marry_or_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/ltr-of-4-years-asked-either-we-will-marry-or-i.124707 https://theredarchive.com/post/124707