Some long cliffs:

  • I'm 25 y'old 6'1.5'' tall, formerly obese (270 pounds), now sitting at 187 lb 18% bf (aiming at 10% bf), looking quite small but more athletic than ever (i receive comments on it).
  • Been a nerd since i've memory, my family didn't help the fact and always enforced my "good boy" behaviour, i thought of it to be a good trait, now i know it wasn't, i grew as an AFC.
  • Even as an Incel, i never had a totally negative SMV, actually received lots of IOI from girls mostly because of good academic performance and height, but still didn't had a solid frame to pull out any movement (lack of confidence).
  • From feedback my face is 5/10 about maybe 4/10, i'm cool with it.
  • Never been on a LTR or any kind of flirt that a good PUA manages, all sex i got during life was from being an emotional tampon (ugly chick) at the right moment, which as an obese was quite fortunate at the very least. Now, i don't think so.
  • I kinda took the red pill by "own awareness" last year when i realized that i was tired of not getting any more sex since THAT time, so i started by dropping weight under my own terms (eating less, comprehensively studying TDEE and macro partitioning and eating tons of healthy food accordingly), and then by weight lifting, which actually "screwed" something on my brain that gave a lot of confidence that must be some sort of testosterone boost because i can't explain it otherwise.
  • Since that, i still feel quite the same nerd, but it's just like i don't give a fuck anymore if anyone judges me for dressing with my anime t-shirts or talking about tech stuff, i keep moving forward following my own terms. However, if someone approaches me i usually manage to have some sort of small talk, then i keep on my way.
  • I'm consciously doing an effort at not being "so nice" with people in general, especially with hot girls. So far i think its working boosting my perceived SMV.
  • Still, i have VERY little experience hanging out, at clubs, i can't dance at all (i'm working on it), but i never get out of words when i have the chance of talking.
  • I accept the fact that i'm not different and unique, and that even if i'm a nerd, that shouldn't be an excuse to be spinning multiple plates around, however, i don't feel like it, actually i like to spend time on myself more than ever.
  • During the last 2 weeks i found TRP subreddit and got quite fascinated at it, still learning my way into it.
  • However... i'm beginning to think that i'm more interested on intellectuality than on booty and breast size, it's not like i don't love it, but it just doesn't appeal as much as a smart conversation about anything. I don't feel as needy (even if i haven't had sex in YEARS) as i was when i was obese, i found new stuff on my body recomposition journey that appeals more to me.
  • Basically i'm in monk mode, but with zero PUA experience, at 25 years old.

So here's the story:

I'm 3 weeks into a new career (related to economics) and there is tons of new people around. During classes i'm always participative with new points of views and material to share, and i receive lots of positive feedback based on it.

There is is this one girl that started to message me for this "homework". Now for some reason that really turned me on, i'm not used to this kind of approach, usually i was always the first to message any girl before (and fail miserably at it). It's been a week since her first message, and whenever she sees me entering the classroom or before/after classes, she pulls a huge smile and says hi to me. Whenever she writes too much on chat (we only talk about the classes), i call her back, tell her what she needs (and i noticed how much she giggles and how trembling her voice gets) and the cut off as fast as i can (1 or 2 mins talk).

Another thing that is increasing my oneitis is that i'm noticing that this girl likes most of the stuff that i do, we've been talking before and after classes and there is always a good vibe at it. she flattered me like twice during this last week (never received compliments in a direct way like this before), and i'm doing my best to keep it cool, act distant and don't pay her to much attention, but the truth is that she really turns me on.

The only reason i haven't hit on her yet (i have to be honest) it's because the plate is CROWDED by like 6 more orbiters, but there is just one guy that has a decent SMV, which is actually her main orbiter that she carries around everywhere. That kind of turns me off because i can't tell if he already sexed her, and i've never liked those "triggering" behaviour that plates love to pull off (but yeah, i'm really inexperienced so maybe that's something that i need to get used to), so in response to it, whenever the orbiter approaches when we're talking i put my best "cya, i have better things to do" act in front of her, and go talk anybody else who is closer, ignoring her completely. Shortly afterwards, the girl approaches to me again... but the orbiter is still right next to her.

I'm beginning to think that she is totally shit testing me (quite obvious i guess), maybe she wants me to fucking kill the guy in order to prove my superiority? i don't know man, i'm about to do so really. Finally, during last friday i noticed that i was giving so much thought about the situation and what to do next, like i'm 100% oneitis at the girl and ignoring all TRP philosophy, so yeah, i'm really puzzled on what to do next.

Finally, here is the twist from the title: during this weekend i've been studying to put myself ahead on classes, and didn't communicate at all with the plate, actually i made an effort to forget her in order to put my shit together by tomorrow (i want to see if she still turns me on, or maybe realize if her orbiter is now her boyfriend because he fucked her at weekend, i don't know), and the thing is that I CAN'T REMEMBER THE PLATE FACE, NEITHER THE FACE OF THE MAIN ORBITER, for some reason all i see is the image of previous girls that i liked (when i was obese and rejected), and previous orbiters that i hated before this one, but i can EXACTLY recall the face of every other single orbiter and plates (that i'm not interested in) that i met during this last three weeks of the career.

I'm being honest here guys. What the hell is this? Some sort of clue that my brain is giving to me in order to make my next movement? Am i getting crazy?

Oh, and i'm not a native english speaker so you know, mock at my grammar if you want haha.