Quick Notes:

  • 25 year old HB7. Flight attendant (national, not intl.) / college student. Been seeing her for 16 months.

  • No official Talk. Broken up with me twice, but still came back.

  • I have oneitis. I'm not spinning plates.

  • I lift. I sidebar. But not well enough, apparently.

Went through her phone last week when she was asleep. As you'd guess, I found she's chatting with 2 guys in 2 different countries, sending them nudes & plans to eventually travel to meet them, and has a third guy she meets regularly at a hotel on Sundays.

I decided to not make a fuss about it. If for no other reason than the sex was still good and I figured no point in losing that.

Well, I still find myself prodding and poking with humour to see if she'd crack. Dumb, I know. But she's put on a great poker face. And behaved well.

Yesterday, I checked her phone again to see where discussions have continued. She lost interest with one of the guys. She's really pushing herself as a good housewife to another. She was to meet the other guy today, but blew him off to see me.

Yesterday, she refused sex (too tired). In the morning, while I was lifting (home gym), we briefly talked. She says she was too tired to remember anything yesterday. I said that she told me something very interesting yesterday that I want to discuss later.

She started preemptively defending herself, saying I can't trust whatever she says when she is sleeping, apologizing if she said something to offend me, etc.

Anyway, she's gone now. I told her we should later meet to discuss "what she said in her sleep."

I feel the need to ask her straight up if she's seeing or planning to see other people. The act itself isn't what bothers me. It's this whole front she puts up of being loyal & faithful and letting it slip out that she loves me (since I told her I can't say that to someone unless I mean it, and haven't said it to her, so she gets nervous about saying it herself).

I guess, I need someone to put my head on straight.