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My Fiancee Wants to "Open" our Relationship. WTF.

Reddit View
November 1, 2015

I'm 25 and I've been in a relationship with lets call her Liz for 2 and half years now. I known her for a while before that and we started going out in my last year of college.

She was dropping hint before our 2 year anniversary about wanting to get hitched, so I proposed 3 months back. Have the date set in February.

Last week she suggest out of the blue we "open" up our relationship. I wanted to go wtf?! But I kept a poker face as she described this thing with a lot of benefits to me. I told her I'd think about it. She made it like it'll be my dream come true, thing is, work is my life right now. It's not like I'm watching porn night in night out or suggesting this is my fantasy in any way. I'm 12 hours minimum a day just working and too tired to even think about girls in the plural.

I didn't really reply to her, just a think about it, and a few days ago she's talking about how we could have a 3 some with some friend of hers I never even considered pretty. She mentioned some remark I made long time back that her friend was "cute" but I don't think I was serious at the time, it was nothing more than offhand.

She's assume once we had our little get together and played out my so called fantasy, that I can play out one of hers. She didn't mention what and this is fucking with my head so bad.

The thing is she wont tell me what it is, and I have a feeling if I confront her she'll bury it, and I don't want her to surprise me after we're married and everything. I can't even sleep anymore the past few days, it's fucking my mind what she wants.

I mean, she wants to tie the know 6 months back and now she wants to open things up? This is fucking stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Post Information
Title My Fiancee Wants to "Open" our Relationship. WTF.
Author SiriusDoubts
Upvotes 73
Comments 110
Date 01 November 2015 05:01 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

[–]cheeky_throwaway101228 points229 points  (21 children) | Copy

This exact scenario happened to me. And many others in this subreddit I might add.

She's already cheated on you dude. She wants to hamster her guilt away by having the threesome with you, or by having you sleep with other women.

Here is the advice I can give you. Run. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

She is a selfish and manipulative cunt. Whilst you were working she was blowing someone else and swallowing his cum. She liked the taste of it and wants to continue doing it.

"Oh my perfect princess wouldn't do that!"

She already has.

If you want certain evidence for proof or for non existent 'closure.' Put 'Find my iPhone' on her smartphone, and install a key logger. But seriously dude wtf is the point.

'A smart man learns from his mistakes, a wise man learns from others.'

Please learn from me, I was BP when this happened to me, I tried logic to make her understand how much of a catch I was, how much she'd be throwing away by opening up the relationship. What I should have done is moved all her stuff into the car lot, changed the locks and blocked her on my phone. This bitch was telling me how much she loved me and couldn't wait to start the next chapter with me bla bla. The next week she is asking for an open relationship and smoking someone else's pole.

Please dude, gain the strength, be a bad ass bastard, kick her to the curb in a confident, stoic, alpha way. And guaranteed she'll be coming back sniffing around in 6 months time, which at that point you can (against my advice) fuck her as a plate and only as a plate.

[–]1Reddthrown35 points36 points  (1 child) | Copy

This - but take the threesome first, then run as far away as your legs will take you.

[–]RPmatrix54 points55 points  (2 children) | Copy

She's already cheated on you dude. She wants to hamster her guilt away by having the threesome with you, or by having you sleep with other women.

Here is the advice I can give you. Run. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.

This guy definitely knows what's going on, I'd follow his advice OP

[–]Endorsed Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy

Protip: finding out if she's cheating is as easy as checking her Google location history.

[–]Voshe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know that google maps registers my travels. It was a bit uncanny checking it out though.

[–]Kalepsis30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

Came here to say this.

To OP: I have been cheated on, of course, and at the moment I have a happy poly relationship. The difference is that we started poly, and we're still poly. It takes a 0.01% guy to not be jealous of other dudes plowing your girl. I'm one of those. Are you? My guess is no. So you don't really want to open it up, do you?

She's already done something with someone.

Flip the roles and ask yourself this: if she had been faithful up 'til now, and you were the one to suggest opening up your relationship, would she have been cool? FUCK NO. She'd be flipping shit, assuming you're suggesting it because you already cheated or you have someone willing to do it soon. And not only that, but you're actively pushing her to fuck someone else? Yeah, she'd accuse you of cheating, and she'd be 100% correct.

Take that into account. Also consider why she's suggesting it. You haven't expressed more than a passing interest in other women. She doesn't just think up things that would make you happy (no woman does, they can't. They're self-absorbed people). She only thinks about what would make her happy. And that is to have available strange while you're working long hours, but still have a paid-for house in which to live.

Unless I'm completely wrong, she's bi, and wants a live-in girlfriend for both of you, like I have.

How likely is that?

Edit: whatever you decide, do not marry. There are ZERO upsides. An extra $120 a year in tax refund is not worth the risks to a man.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Listen to this guy. Committing to a girl who shows zero red flags is already a crapshoot, imagine one who wants "to open the relationship." Kick her to the curb and run like crazy.

[–]theyareAs7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Actually in the Settings>Privacy>Location Services>System Services>Frequent Locations section of an iPhone you can see the most frequented visited places and what times as well all without installing any apps or 'traps'.

EDIT: Better defined menus

[–]cheeky_throwaway1013 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shit, I wish I had known this knowledge before. Thanks bud!

[–]Coolbeans024ptf 7 points7 points [recovered] | Copy

This and more this, women don't share anything they value. You are a paycheck to her not a sexual being. Sharing you sexually means nothing to her. Run like the devil.

[–]Polishrifle0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What? A girl would rather share an alpha than commit to a beta.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is brutal

[–]ben0wn4g33 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

You need to jailbreak the phone to install a key logger right?

[–]Ayoung4u 4 points4 points [recovered] | Copy

Yes, but my ex desperately wanted to personalize her iPhone to show off and I was fine taking advantage of that. Jailbreaking it has many other upsides you can use to your benefit.

[–]ben0wn4g30 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Can you tell if someone jailbreaks their phone? What would be s good reason to do it?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]BinglesTRP2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I very rarely care about what the outcomes are of posts like this. I know we all try to help that one Indian guy fuck the "Buxom Blonde", but we don't care if he does.

This time, I care. I hope OP manages to save himself here.

[–]cheeky_throwaway1011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah we should all send him a message and ask for an update. Would love to hear if he managed to do it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

quality advice x10

[–]RancidTurnip43 points44 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's one of two things, either she's already fucked some other dude and wants to set you up with her unattractive friend to absolve her guilt, or she has a hot guy she wants to fuck and will set you up with her unattractive friend so she won't feel guilty about taking his load while you're at work.

Either way your relationship is pretty much fucked, I'd run, but if you want to maintain the relationship your only real choice is to start implementing dread game. If you can pull a girl hotter than your fiance for a threesome then you can watch the hamster wheel spin faster than ever before..

It's funny to me that literally as soon as she has you sitting in her beta bucks seat, she's pulling up a chair for her alpha fucks to sit down. It's really amazing how brazen women have become now that it's socially unacceptable to call them out on their shit.

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fucking disgusting. What has our world come too. It amazes me how some one could rationalize WHY this is "okay". Gotta be fucking kidding me, people don't have morals anymore.

OP get that engagement ring back and get the fuck out. Ridiculous behaviour.

[–]ioncehadsexinapool7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think dread game would work at this point. The only way it would work is if op started fuckin multiple girls hotter than his fiancé. Even then, she'd get jealous and hamster him into the bad guy cheater or something

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women don't ask for an open relationship out of the blue, due to mild curiosity. She knows who she wants to fuck and already has it lined up. She's been flirting and getting this set behind your back. She's probably even already fucked him, but if you agree to this, she'll have the opportunity to be a little hazy about dates and timing and not admit to cheating.

But even if she really was just a curious girl, the very fact that she thought it was okay to ask tells you where her heart is. You're the husband, not the lover.

[–]cocaine_face29 points30 points  (0 children) | Copy

The question nobody is questioning you on, but I will is - why the fuck are you getting married?

You know it's a bad strategy. You know it won't make a girl more likely to be loyal (as evidenced by your situation), you know she can take your money and your kids from you.

Who cares if she hinted she wanted to get married? After only 2 years of vetting on your part? Why does she get this great gift from you? What has she done to deserve it?

I once had a girl that had just bought a house with her fiancé and moved in together tell me "maybe a little bit of sex wouldn't be that wrong". This is the reality on the ground. Girls, even ones you have major commitments with cheat and lose interest, and they do it when you invest too strongly in them/leave them in control.

It sounds like she's leading the relationship and you're going along with it - up until the point when she tries to pull her coup de grace AF/BB move.

She has probably fucked someone else already. If she hasn't, she has the guy in mind.

She may give you a threesome (to get rid of her guilt about fucking another guy), but rest assured, if you start actively gaming girls after that, you're going to see her hamster freak out.

You need to drop her. Anything less than dropping her will lead to misery for you in the future, and possibly years of additional payments levied on top of your income. Do you want that? If not, leave. There's no other option that will lead to a good ending for you.

[–]innergametrumpsall21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy

1) Two and a half years is not long enough to get married. She's probably just coming out of the honeymoon phase.

2) You are lucky this is happening now, this means one of two things. She is either has terrible impulse control, which is a bad sign, or she's already cheated which is the worst sign.

3) There are is literally no one in this thread saying stay together.

How to handle this?

Your woman keeps her engagement ring in the box or whatever at night and before she showers.

You treat this like a normal breakup, but in this case you need to do it in turbo mode. The first thing you do is box up your essentials (computer, laptop, financial docs etc) discretely. The next thing you do is grab your engagement ring and then you leave.

The following day you return with friends and move out. If you have a lease, you pay it if you care about your credit, but she will need to find someone to sublet to. Search for roommates for her so if you have to, you can sue her for the balance (she must search for a replacement in most states and if she refuses then she is on the hook for the whole lease).

The most important things to take from this.

1) Get out NOW

2) There is nothing to talk about, this is over and has been over.


[–]machimus19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy


Well at least you're not married. I'd probably drop the engagement, what's the point of getting married if you only get the downsides?

[–]Kalepsis10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seriously. Marriage is nothing but an assfuck with a nail-bat for a man.

[–]spooky-clinic15 points16 points  (7 children) | Copy

Two years? That's nothing, dude. Go over to and start reading. Some guys there are married for over 10 years (!) without any sex, while the bitches are fucking left and right. And the best part: a divorce would bankrupt them.

Do you live with her? If so, put money on the side and make some bullshit excuses why you can't marry yet (work reasons, health reason, money reasons, anything). Don't sleep with her unless you want some nice STD like HPV, she probably cheated on you already a few times like cheeky_throwaway101 said. Go try to make a blood donation. They will test you for free on every major known STD and you will help somebody in need.

If you have enough money, RUN!!! If you don't live with her, end it now. Like, right now! Don't try to 'rescue' this relationship, please, for the love of god, don't be THAT guy. It's over, she lost every respect she had for you, you can't and shouldn't try to rebuild this respect. That would be a waste of time.

You are 25, consider yourself lucky, most guys getting force feed the redpill when they are much older and divorceraped.

[–]blackhawks931 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Donating blood to check for std's is the worst idea ever. Bad blood does get through occasionally and can really hurt someone.

[–]spooky-clinic1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The main problem is HIV and the window between the infection and the exposure of the antibodies, which is around six months.

So, yes, OP should wait at least six months before going for it. I am assuming OP lives in the US where everything related to health costs a fortune, that is why I gave the tip.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I never thought of making a blood donation to test for STDs

[–]blackhawks931 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's a bad idea. You could really hurt someone so don't do it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I think you misunderstood. They test your blood before ever giving it to a patient anyways. If you are a regular blood donor (I've only done platelets so maybe its different) they run a full test anyways. So long as you find out the results, it doesn't make a difference.

[–]blackhawks932 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

They test it but in .001% of cases bad blood does go through. That's why they say never give blood as a means to test for STD's.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good to know!!

[–]RacialRealism30 points31 points  (6 children) | Copy

She's already been messing around with a guy and wants to open up the relationship so she can retroactively change the past and say she got with him after the relationship was open.

Threesome =/= Open Relationship. An Open Relationship gives her permission to fuck other guys without you being around (or even knowing about it).

Either way, if you do anything other than dump this chick you are a fucking idiot.

[–]Planner_Hammish10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Here's how:

Say "babe, I want you to be happy. If fucking other dudes is going to do that for you, that's great!"

She gets a sparkle in her eye. Says "really?"

Then you say "yeah, really. But that is not going to do it for me, so have a nice life".

Que hamster overdrive. "what?"

"i have already packed your things and arranged for you to stay at your mother's. Give me the key to the apartment."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

please... film this for the love of god

[–]Apexk939 points40 points  (14 children) | Copy

Get a threesome then close the relationship.

There is a chance she has already cheated or she really wants to fuck some guy with no guilt attached.

[–]SiriusDoubts[S] 12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy

I really don't want the threesome but I'm considering everything people said here.

[–]workdavework17 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy


What is this?

[–]NiceTryDisaster1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

...but I'm considering everything people said here.

I am late but I will say that I agree with most of the comments in this thread.

Get a threesome then close the relationship.

/u/Apexk9 thats great advice but for someone who has already swallowed the pill and is Machiavellian. OP is probably furious at the moment, plus his 2.5 year relationship and future marriage just crumbled. So I don't think a threesome with this woman is worth it.

[–]Apexk90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes you have to throw yourself in the fire to see what you're made of.

[–]the_Milkweed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have the fmf threesome and then break up with her.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy

For once Apex, I agree with you.....

[–]Apexk910 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm never wrong.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy

Well now you are

[–]ioncehadsexinapool15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

Get a room you two

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

sets up condom sales stand

[–]Axoc3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I legit come to RP threads just for Apex/Ola drama at this point. You guys do a good job of posting completely opposing views and still making both sound at least a bit appealing.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

What do they argue about? grabs popcorn

[–]M3_Drifter0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I hope by "close" you mean "end" because this relationship is now worthless.

[–]Apexk90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah Threesome and Run.

[–]loddfavne10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

The thing is a relationship usually means that men have a financial obligation to make the girls situation better. Usually the guy is the one who earns the most in a household, and many times it will be the girl that spends the most.

What does a man get out of this deal? Sexual fidelity. But, if you are required to work 12-hour day and she won't have any sexual obligations. That ain't fair.

An open relationship could be a good idea. An by open, I mean that she moves out and becomes a plate. Because it makes no sense that you should have financial obligations towards her, if she has none of those towards you.

[–]le_king_falcon10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

Bail bail bail.

Cancel your engagement.

The only way this will work is if both partners are 100% into it and both have relatively similar access to partners otherwise jealousy and inadequacy after the likely feelings.

As others have said she's probably already cheated and just wants guilt free permission to continue.

[–]M3_Drifter4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

The only way this will work is if [...] both have relatively similar access to partners

So a guy with a very high SMV and a fat chick?

[–]blackhawks931 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pretty much.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]minoc_uo10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

You knew before submitting this what the right response is. Maybe you just needed to hear others say it.

[–]Endorsed Contributorstickfiguresk8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

We all have to learn the hard way how this works, and this is that moment for you. I wish there was something else I can tell you--like how not all women are like that, or that this is just a phase, or anything else that would make marrige viable, but it's just not. I really, really want to be wrong, but TRP is truth. She's a whore, and you need to split before splitting becomes even more painful.

Good luck, man. Keep your head up: spinning plates can be nice.

[–]absolucion6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know the answer to this one. It's time to check your chute for any holes and jump off that plane.

Whenever I've read one of these stories, typically the woman asks for an open relationship because there is someone getting her panties moist that she wants a guilt-free pass to pursue. Reddit has plenty of first person accounts of this happening. Eventually, she'll neglect you because whatever she's getting from outside the relationship is more fulfilling than what she's getting from you and you'll realize that you were played.

Bail now before things get ugly for you.

[–]Leastohm7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good news, she made this play BEFORE you got married. Bad news, your relationship is unsalvageable.

Your not her alpha, and she can't overrule her nature enough to even try to respect you as a man. There is no winning here, hard next is your only play. And be thankful you're not financially tied to her.

Learn from these last two years, and remember this can happen again. If you want to go down the rout of marriage one day, remember that the switch can turn any day, and you'll no longer be her man, but her meal ticket.

[–]Glennus6266 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just to add to what everyone else has suggested -- you work 12 hours a day, so it's not like you have a great relationship to begin with. In that time you're away, the mice have begun to play.

I would use amused mastery to fish the trickle truth out of her. Don't even waste time agreeing to a 3some you already know you won't enjoy.

Main thing that sucks is that it'll be tough spinning (let alone banging) multiple plates with that work schedule.

[–][deleted] 7 points7 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 7 points7 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]ben0wn4g37 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well obviously you're not interested in an open relationship. If you say no she's going to take the cock anyway. She obviously wants her cake and to eat it too.

Take the threesome then just GTFO

[–]berryfarmer5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy


[–]IVIaskerade1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Next and next and next and next and....

Nothing like a dozen girls to get over one.

[–]jeff_vii4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're being BETA as fuck, and I don't mean that in any derogatory way, nearly all of us have been here at one point including me.

  1. Ditch the girl now. If you don't have any self-respect no one else will respect you. Non negotiable. Plentiful mindset vs scarcity, your currently in scarcity and holding on to this out of neediness and fear of loss
  2. Form a self improvement plan. Look at areas of your life that need strengthening. Social circle, body image, style etc Take a look at what needs improving, or what the ideal version of yourself looks like and create an action plan for how to achieve that in small steps
  3. More male time. Fill your spare time doing proactive positive activities with other male friends, who are positive role models. This will strengthen your character , and avoid you having too much time alone to think of toxic thoughts.
  4. Spin plates. Many Plates. A short time into self improvement, make an effort to meet several new women. Download tinder, or hit some bars after a successful week of self improvement. The more you have the less you think of one.

  5. Form some self respect and standards for yourself. The one who's stronger in any relationship is the one who needs the other person less. Be that person

[–]dabayer3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you have a younger brother you might know this. You fought and hit himm too hard and he is crying. You tell him to not tell mommy and he can hit you hard as well. That is exactly what happened here. She cheated on you and wants to make up for it by offering the threesome.

Or if she did not cheat: Would you marry a women that plans to sleep with other guys? Fuck no! GTFO!!!

[–]topdog822 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy

I want you to think and figure out if you think that this is a smart idea, but I would say confront her hardcore. IMO if my girl said that I would be pissed as fuck for her even suggesting it. When someone is about to get married and the girl is thinking about fantasies, it is a sign that she is thinking of other dicks most likely. I could be wrong, but IMO that is not okay by my standards. If you are open to the idea, go for it. I am just speaking from personal experience

[–]SiriusDoubts[S] 8 points9 points  (6 children) | Copy

No of course it's not a smart idea. I just feel I threw 2 years of my life away and why the fuck she wants to get married and then pull this shit, that engagement ring was fucking expensive and the more I talk about this shit, the more pissed off Im gettting.....

If I don't walk from the computer, I think I'm gonna smash it into bits over this bullshti.

[–]RocketManV7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Two years man, that's the reality of the pill smacking you right in the face. Cut your losses, say you stay with her and this happens ten years down the road. Then what?

You've found out now, two years and not ten years down the road, that this isn't a woman you are willing to "spend the rest of your life with."

[–]cheeky_throwaway1016 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck dude, I wasted 8 years! You're lucky, imagine if we'd/you'd been married.

[–]1BrunoOh5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have fun throwing more of your life and money away when you marry her and find out her kids aren't yours. She just did you a solid.

[–]cozgw0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get the ring back first. We are here for you bro.

[–]zaddar10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


she wants to get married and then pull this shit


" when someone shows you what they are like, believe them ! "


[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I think RancidTurnip is on the right track.

[–]ioncehadsexinapool0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy


[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–]Umop3psidn2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you stay, this will NEVER be forgotten and will always be in the background. After you fuck her, after fancy restaurants, anniversary dates, etc. just leave the damn slut.

[–]sabinmightyfist2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's already cheated on you and is using the open relationship thing to continue fucking the other guy. It really sucks but you need to pull the plug while you can still exit painlessly. She is going to fuck other guys regardless of what you chose to do exit now while she doesn't have all the power

[–]The-Ban-Hammer2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

She has cheated or is on the brink. The best way to minimize it being "cheating" is to open things up.

"Open" is just a euphemism for "I'm letting you know I AM cheating on you at some point."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Count your lucky stars she did this before tying the knot. Now get out of there and don't look back.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Leave this woman, she already cheated.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Please for the love of your life break up with her. Dude. You have no idea the world of pain you are in for if you get married to her. Trust me, I have personal experience as I married someone like this and after 5 years, of which I can say only 2 were enjoyable, the heartache and pain of divorce will damn near kill you.

Save yourself, brother. Rip the bandaid off. Don't be weak in this crucial point in your life. Don't waste 5 years of your life like I did.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're lucky she said this shit before you got married. I would break up with her ASAP. She probably has a guy already in mind.

[–]KumonRoguing1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Abort mission.

[–]Tiway221 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You HAVE to break up with her. She is a dirty cheating slut. Get the threesome then dump her!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Be forever thankful that she was dumb enough to tell you this before getting married.

[–]allfunkedout1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Another reason why getting engaged in your 20's is stupid. Your 20's are supposed to be about meeting new people and fucking them....not being tied down to one person.

[–]exit_sandman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know, I want to suggest something to you: go and ask that question at the relationships-sub. Yes, I'm serious.

And do you know what the most upvoted comment will say to you? I'll tell you: "flee, you fool! run and never look back!"

You know you're about to screw up terribly (or already have) when the guys at relationships tell you the same like the guys at TRP.

[–]blimp110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dont marry

[–]favours_of_the_moon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


Don't ever talk to this skank again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm sorry this happened to you man, you should get the fuck out of there as soon as possible.

[–]IVIaskerade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You should absolutely open up the relationship! It's a great idea!

Just remember, you want to really open it up - push yourself out of your comfort zone. And after all, what's more open than agreeing to see other people exclusively?

Yeah, it's over. Hard next.

I'm going to end with a quote from Maya Angelou:

"When people show you who they are, believe them."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Leave her.

[–]Incubus1300 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This situation, right here, is why you never get married. I know 107 people already told your ass to run but here is one more. FUCKING RUNNN!!

[–]SlothOnRoids0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm going to agree with all the guys yelling to partake in the threesome.

I know you love this chick, but hey you have to accept the truth that your chick isn't the one you want to walk down that aisle with.

Ride this shit out for a little longer and fuck one of her friends in the threesome. You might as well have a little fun before dropping her.

[–]Mudmen120 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Please tell me you have dropped her by now. Update

[–]ioncehadsexinapool0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Op I disagree with most people here. I don't think she wants to open the relationship because she cheated. I think she wants to cheat but wants permission from you so that she doesn't feel guilty about it. If she was honest enough to be open to you about it I think there's at least a little merit in that.

Regardless, it's not much different imo either way. Just wanted to point it out for you.

Bottom line, if this is something you aren't into. Leave. If you aren't opposed to it and are curious, try it out. But be aware that you'll likely regret it given she probably already has a line waiting, while you don't even have time to date since you're at work all day :(

Sucks man I know. I wouldn't call myself a rp master by any means. But I'm more then happy to give more advice if you want to pm me

[–]Umop3psidn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's lined up the ducks (dicks?) and is ready. She just wants to have her shitty ways validated/excused, but she will go through it anyways. This is a matter of whether she can excuse the guilt from the source or find some stupid "reason" for cheating.

[–]IVIaskerade0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If she hasn't cheated physically, she's already cheated emotionally.

[–]vicious_armbar-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ok my advice may be a little out of the norm here but:

1 - Don't get married stupid! That's a basic tenant of TRP.

2 - Agree to open your relationship but only to other women, and only if you both get to sleep with them. I'm assuming your woman is bi since she suggested a 3-way with another woman. You're too busy to chase down chicks, and she's the one that wants new partners. So institute the "one penis rule". She doesn't get to sleep with any other man but you. No matter the circumstances. She also doesn't get to sleep with a woman unless it's a 3some and you can have your fun with the new chick as well.

3 - Check up on her to see if she's cheating on you. Obviously.

I'd start positioning yourself to find a new girl. You don't want to get married, and she'll never accept not marrying you now that you've promised it to her. Your relationship is doomed. The only question is what you can get out of it in the meantime, and what you can do to manage the transition. You say you're working 12 hour days. So you might want to put the break up off until after the busy season is over.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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