I’ve known this girl since January. We usually only fuck once every other week or so. Since I’ve known her, she’s probably withheld sex 4-5 times for various reasons. Here’s what happened the most recent time.

To give you a little background, we hung out about two and a half weeks ago. Had a great night. Agreed to hang out two days later. When it came time for that next meet, she hit me up like 30 mins before and said she’s not in the mood. Said she was stressed about packing for a trip, etc. I was almost at her place at the time so I kinda kept pushing and persuaded her to hang out. When I see her, she’s really distant and clearly wants me to leave. We talk for a bit, make out, somehow get into the conversation of both wanting something a little more serious (aka FWB/hanging out more often). This was probably a mistake.

Anyway that’s that. Then she goes on this 10 day trip. We text almost every other day. When she gets back, I ask her to hang out this week. She agrees and we plan on hanging out last night. She’s 20 minutes late. Acting super tired. We grab dinner (split the bill obviously), then start to head back to her place. We get to her door and she says ok this is where we go our separate ways. I say hah ok and start to walk away. She says you’re not going to give me a hug or anything. I say nope. Then I start to say just let me come up and then she sighs and says we’re not talking about this in front of my building again. This kinda thing happened once before and we got into a bit of a fight. Not good. So I say ok bye and walk away. Don’t turn around.

I don’t text her the rest of the night. I know I came across as kinda butthurt. I’m thinking I’m just going to soft next indefinitely and see if she reaches out. Then I decide I think it’d be a good idea to say something, because I think if I don’t say anything ever again she’s going to assume I’m super butthurt. I search the forum and find a thread on this topic. So I text her this morning “hey I care about you. And if you don’t want sex that’s fine. We can just be friends. We’re both attractive people so we have other options if we decide to go down that road.” After sending, I realized that thread was talking about how to deal with withholding sex when it’s your girlfriend, not a plate/fwb.

I texted her two and a half hours ago. Still no response. I know I probably could’ve handled this better. What’s your honest assessment of the way I handled it? What should I have done instead? And what should I do moving forward? I’d like to keep her around, she’s my favorite plate, but have a feeling it might be done. Should I even try hitting her up again if she doesn’t respond to my text?