I'm an incel. I don't want to be incel anymore.

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August 11, 2018

I'm a 22 year old incel. I'm active in various incel communities. I realized that hanging around incel communities won't help me at all to ascend. They are all copecels that don't even try to ascend.

I will do whatever you say, you get to control my life. This is what you're working with: 22 yo 5'11 180lbs skinnyfat incel, never had friends much less a gf, have no social skills.

I know it's over but I've gotta try before I decide to rope.

Post Information
Title I'm an incel. I don't want to be incel anymore.
Author pol012345
Upvotes 141
Comments 97
Date 11 August 2018 07:12 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/129943
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/96es5y/im_an_incel_i_dont_want_to_be_incel_anymore/
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Red Pill terms found in post:

[–]Zahlix 1 points [recovered]  (24 children) | Copy

22 years old and chubby? You think it is over? Kid you are not even close to the prime of your life! Ask most men and they will tell you the best time of their life was 30-40. You are just a kid sowing the seeds for your entire life!

First of all cut off all the incel shit. Block all those websites and don't ever visit them again. They don't help you and they poison your mind.

I will do whatever you say, you get to control my life

We don't want control of your life. We want to teach you how you take control of your life. Everything people tell you here is just advice, it is up to you to act upon it.

You are overweight so you should lose the fat. I wrote this guide for TRP because weight loss is a specialty of mine. Read the entire post and do what it tells you. If you understand what I wrote in that post you will never in your life be overweight again.

Start lifting. It is not just about aesthetics, it is about discipline and mindset. Make sure you have a trainer teach you the right movement. Start with low weights and work yourself up over time. The fitness subreddit has a great "getting started" section.

You are most likely still in school, uni or some sort of training. Now is the time of your life to focus on this. Everything you do now will be rewarded tenfold in the future. You need to earn money for the rest of your life, better learn how to do it well. You trade your limited lifetime for money - make sure you get as much money per hour as you can and then spend it wisely so you don't need to do payments on a stupid car.

Start doing those three things until they are second nature to your character!

  • LIFT

Read the sidebar. Personal favorite as a red pill starter is the book of pook (you can find it online for free - it is easy to read and it will show you what the ideal male/female relationship should look like). I also recommend Rollo Tomassi The rational male. Those two books I consider the cornerstones of TRP knowledge.

[–][deleted] 41 points42 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is some real shit.

[–]pol012345 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

I made this post at like 2 AM expecting perhaps one or two replies. Thank you and thank everyone else who replied. I read all of the replies although I did not reply to all of you.

I will start reading the sidebar and implementing into my life what I can. I live in a small town so I don't have access to many of the things city folk might have access to. I go to community college in like two weeks and I want to be able to function socially like a normal person first of all. That's my goal for now.

[–]Zahlix 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Starting community college is a great opportunity to reinvent yourself. Join at least one club where you meet with other people every week.

Social skills are like every other skill in live, they need practice and you've been giving the perfect training ground!

Simple rule: whenever people invite you to do something with them, just say yes.

[–]pol012345 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Simple rule: whenever people invite you to do something with them, just say yes.

I doubt I'll get invited to stuff but I promise to say yes always if they do invite me. But how can I look at people in the eye and look interested while speaking? I have autism and have this problem where I act unintentionally uninterested when having conversations with a girl or other people.

[–]i_have_a_semicolon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

maybe try to be conscious of your eyesight and remind yourself to look at the other person in their eyes. When they say something, make some kind of response. I think just trying to force yourself to do this, over time, can form into more natural habits.

I find myself not looking in the eyes, not autistic but I try to catch myself.

[–]CocaineOnYourClit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You can do this brother. We are all in this together. If you have any problems or question just post in asktrp and we will help. Trust me I've been in your situation, incel nihilistic and suicidal. Overanalyzing my facial aesthetics for hours a day. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. But there is a way out, you wont be stuck in that mentality for ever, trust me. The number one thing that helped me was stopping hanging out in those circles, even if you think it's for entertainment their negativity infects you. Good luck, you got this

[–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good on you man. You can do it. IF you put the work in.

Edit: to add that your success is not predicated on whether or not you get laid. I know you said you don't want to be incel... but getting pussy is not the defining or all-important mark of a man, so don't make that your mission.

[–]dream-hunter6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Strongly recommend reading Book of Pook. Really life-changing and mind-opening. Every man must read it.

[–]KV-n2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

The problem with such books for us is that they assume you can already interact with other ppl normally, can make friends, including female ones etc.

This assumption is natural for 95% ppl but not for incels.

In other words the book is high school when we cant even get out of elementary

[–]dream-hunter0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The book is for normal people. As long as you don't have mental issues you should be able to apply the book on yourself because nature is nature.

[–]KV-n0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

As long as you don't have mental issues

Well shit :D i dont mean to argue with you or sth but if we didnt have mental issues most of us wouldnt be incel.

I remember seeing a compilation/guide much more suited for incels with advice for very basic social things which normal people can do unconciously by 12yo. I would post it for the op but cant find it anymore

[–]Flintblood6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

This gentlemen.
I think guys under 25 are the most likely to suffer from Chad’s exploits. Men do better later when they have experience, identity, and some past successes ‘under their belt’.

[–]anonacnt 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

What do you mean by "chad's exploits"? Just trying to learn...

[–]Flintblood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Google Chad and redpill. Chad, aka Chad Thundercock, is the top 10-1% guy who most females want to sleep with (even the “good” girls). Most ‘good girls’ and thots gladly do one night stands with Chad and consider it an honor. They also take their chance on a ONS with Chad knowing that’s all they may get.

[–]Iwantmypasswordback7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

u/pol012345 read this at least ten times and write it down. Put it as a daily affirmation and tape it to your mirror. Literally.

Read think and grow rich by Napoleon hill and develop daily affirmations about growing your wealth and tape them to your mirror and say it multiple tones EVERY DAY until it’s beaten into your brain. Surround yourself with successful people and cut toxicity out of your life.

Since we’re in control of your life I command you to reply to this comment and confirm you’ve read it and will follow it.

[–]teeekuuu1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I had “ SWIM or SINK” written on my mirror in my bathroom throughout last year. Read it every morning before going for a run , powerful stuff

[–]Iwantmypasswordback0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Good one! Did you get it from think and grow rich?

[–]teeekuuu0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I’m not sure, might have been. I was in a slump and did whatever small thing I could think of to get me going. I’m always 100 or 0% , so that was a good thought to have every morning.

[–]earthmother922 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was gonna write a post but this is just great.

[–]ShotgunTRP2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The truth.

[–]clausternn0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why do you say to never eat below 1600 calories a day? What's the harm if you do?

[–]revosfts-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

This guy needs points from an EC for this post.

[–]1jacques_cousteau00798 points99 points  (11 children) | Copy


I’m so hyped you decided to join us on the TRP sub.

All the shit about women, seduction, and sex that is difficult in your life will suddenly become easier.

There’s one word above all others that’s gonna change your life completely.


[–]The2xChamp37 points38 points  (9 children) | Copy

I fully expect to see a post from next week asking what he should do about this girl that won’t respond to compliments

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy

Give him the benefit of the doubt. By turning his back on Incels and coming to us humbly he is better than 80% of the men out there.

[–]The2xChamp3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s in good fun. Plus if you take a solid look through this subreddit it’s all the same questions

[–]OfficerWade34 points35 points  (5 children) | Copy

He gave her chocolate milk and cookies but she wouldn’t suck his dick, un-fucking-believable.

[–]willowhawk16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

Wouldn't suck his dick?? What a slut

[–]danp6412 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

Dude, I held the door open for her. WHY WON’T SHE BREED WITH ME??

[–]Philosfy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Okay this shit is hilarious

[–]this_weeks_account27 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah! What a slut! He should drive a van into a large group of people! /s

[–]I_like_nemo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

whats the point

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

give him a break.

[–]Vynxe-Vainglory2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’d say read the sidebar, then read at least 10 mainsub threads, then read the sidebar again.

[–]Governor_Humphries35 points36 points  (4 children) | Copy

Bro, there are lots of guys who don’t get laid until their 20s. The term incel is poison, but even accepting it as valid, you gotta be like 35 before the label is apt.

What you are is a virgin. So was every other guy at some point. So you are getting started a little later than some people. Big fucking deal.

Here’s my advice. TRP is not a magic potion. It’s not homework. It’s not Do X And Get Y. It’s a body of knowledge from men who have experienced the world as it actually is. That’s all. It will not provide you discipline, which is what you really need.

You are going to need to improve three areas: space, body, mind. That’s the right order. You can clean your living space in a day. If you lift and eat right, you can start to see improvements in your body in a few weeks. The right mindset emerges gradually with experience, and that’s a project that you’ll be working on for a lifetime.

[–]showerthoughtsgenius5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Well put

[–]VolatileEnemy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also most guys these days don't get laid before 26 or so, because well, this isn't 1970 or 1980s.

There is a 18% growth in single men too since 30 years ago. It's not unique problem.

People don't realize how the world is changing around them. It's not like the 80s and women are NOT trying to quickly get married or have a long-term bf. Not to mention the rise in obesity.

[–]TRP_mask3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Many people stay virgin untill their 20s. That's what I hear a lot here, but people laugh at me for being a virgin at 18 years old, mainly because they obviously aren't. People keep saying it here but I really don't think it's true.

[–]Dabunghole5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

People lie a lot. When you’re your age being a virgin is common, admitting it is not. If you start fucking now you’ll take a lot of v cards. They always remember their first fuck.

[–]CocaineOnYourClit14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

Step one stop hanging out in incel circles. Believe me after 2 weeks you will feel how much it helps

[–]Aralant10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hey man I'm glad you've decided to give it a real shot.

So I think before you dive into the redpill we gotta get you out of the black pill.

You've gotta do away with the notion that looks are the end all of relationships.

Here's some facts, people get into relationships for various reasons, some people want sex, some want emotional support, some want money, none of these is any more valid a reason than the other, they are all self centered in their own way.

Now if sex is all you want you're in luck. It ain't no thing to get a body better than 80% of men. In fact your rookie gains will get you to that point. Also money, if you're smarter than you are athletic there is nothing wrong with flaunting your cash.

Here's a optimistic way of looking at things. Right now you're at rock bottom you can only go up from here. So if you've gotta be a beta bux first just to get your dick wet don't be ashamed.

[–][deleted] 43 points44 points  (2 children) | Copy

You have to take control of your own life. Not some strangers in the internet. We won't guide you like a baby. Take control. Because that's the exact mentality which keeps you in inceldom.

[–]rpsheepdog12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Came to say this, part of OP's incel problem is that he involuntarily goes through life. OP needs to take ownership and see the value he brings to the situations

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

dude. give him a break. he reached out for god’s sake.

[–]TehJimmyy19 points20 points  (2 children) | Copy

I will do whatever you say, you get to control my life.

Do a barrel roll.

[–]Gainznsuch9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Woah, he may end up hijacking a plane from SeaTac next

[–]danp643 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Use the boost to chase

[–]Freenorthman6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lift, eat right, get shredded, get a haircut, find your style, dont care about women so much

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Since everybody else addressed how to proceed and gave terrific advice, I'm gonna use your post to make a tengential point.

If ever the word "toxic" applied - a word I hate because of its connotations - it applies to the incel community. It is not so much a hole as it is heroin, tempting one to give up on whatever one does to escape to float back because of how easy it is to return to self pity and doubt. Now that you have taken this step, resist going back with every fiber of your being. Contrary to popular belief, we are here to welcome you with open fuckin arms.

There's only 2 things that anybody can tell you - LIFT and SIDEBAR. Write these two words on your fucking wall and never forget them.

Last words of advice:

> I know it's over but I've gotta try before I decide to rope

This might sound harsh but it's important. I alluded to this above but there's nothing more addicting/tempting than the easy way out. You're saying "I've gotta try", and that is a fucking amazing step to take - but remember that you need to try balls to the fuckin wall for months to years. Life is not an easy thing and everybody is on a journey. Resist every temptation to make anything easy.

[–]Flintblood2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to Redpill World. Live without limits.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dont do what we say. If you do how is that any different? I personally don't want to suck dick myself but that is because I am a loser content with watching moe shows. Anime women lowered my standards of normal girls. Porn raised them which is why I dropped it.

[–]Moreofmore2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never give your control away. Lift, read the sidebar, go do the work

[–]dtyler862 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

32 year old here. 22-27 were the slowest, hardest and most depressing years of my life. Shit started getting fun and awesome at 27. Right out of college most people are broke, I’m sure if they even care about their job, in my case like Maddie are swamped with student loan debt, and don’t have any confidence that they are actually good at something.

At 32, everyone knows who they are and those who don’t are obvious and it’s easy to steer clear of them (insta-whores and uneducated adults). I now can travel and afford it on top Of eating anything I want and have a baby mb apartment.

The women... holy shit. Slept with my 4th partner (5yr gf) till I was 26. Banged out 10 a year ever since. Also, I’m muscular but chubby, balding; when you’re fun, outgoing, well dressed, confidant and generally good looking, woman don’t care and the hot college chicks that are ignoring you now will really be into you when you’re older Than them. Plus the ones that are your age now will bang the fuck out of you when they learn that they squandered their youth with dipshits

[–]RedKepler2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Drop all incel related materials and thoughts. Infact, delete this account -if its your incel associated one- and make a new one. Cut off all your incel, beta friends.

Read sidebar material.

Block pornography and everything related with a password you mash into your keyboard with your eyes shut.

Delete (or if you have the willpower limit) all your "nerdy" games, (shit Fortnite is a no no). Sell the stuff you don't need. Then take the things you have an emotional bond to, and ask yourself if you really need them and then throw them out- this will help get rid of all your urges and weaknesses.

Burn/bin/yeet your shitty food away, keep what you know is healthy or atleast isn't on the verge of being synthetic.

No more anime stuff also, watch it for entertainment during breaks or wind down, but not to binge or masturbate to.

Delete all toxic social media, or start unfollowing people who don't benefit you or who you use their photos as wank fodder. And start following people who are red pilled and sporty, examples on instagram; Donald Trump, Coach Corey Wayne.

Also drop in on MGTOW, might find you like it.

[–]Senior ContributorSkorchZang2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You know why you're an incel? Because at some point you committed to the process of being an incel. You never set any goal to be one, but you followed the steps necessary to be an incel: read the right forums, think the right self-victimizing thoughts, do the right incel things in your spare time.

Just the same, don't now start to think in terms of transforming yourself toward a more Chadly goal. Won't work. Even dreaming up something modestly chadly will not do. If you do so, you'll be the same as any number of other failing incels, and in fact you will enjoy being an incel even more after this failure.

No, instead of this, you should commit yourself completely to the Red Pill process. You're going to stay who you are, nothing will change whatsoever except that you commit to the process.

If you commit to TRP, you would have celebrated your victory over inceldom long before you fuck your first random broad, because it's not getting the goal that changes you, it's time committed to the process itself. I said "would have" because after committing to TRP, you likely won't give a shit about celebrating incel bullshit such as "I am no longer kissless!". There is nowhere to "ascend", you are, as is, not below any man here. Let the dead bury the dead, commit yourself to TRP as a process and grind like a motherfucker. Congrats, you might still be a virgin, but you are no longer an incel.

[–]HumbleTrees1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Simple as this. Picture for a moment your role model concept of a man. Maybe it's someone you know maybe it's a role in a film. When presented with a choice, think "what would a role model man do in this situation?". Would he binge some online fucking multiplayer game? No. Would he masterbate three times a day? No. Would he be a supplicating little bitch around women? No. Would he hit the gym or even workout at home if he had no other option. Yes he fucking would. Would he have a purpose in life. Yes he would and he wouldn't let anyone get in the way of that.

Put sex aside for 6 months. Don't even try get a woman actively for 6 months. If it happens then that's a sign of progress but get it off your mind. Find a cool hobby that is social. Something like martial arts, climbing, rowing club etc.

Make yourself a better you. Then later down the line worry about women. If you try seduction at this point at the bottom of your growth curve, it's just going to give you a bad time and fuck with your confidence even more.

Welcome and good luck. Also, read the sidebar. Read it all. Then come back with questions.

[–]heyuguyzbrekfazt1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]TheBlackAlistar2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's people out there who have it way worse than you. You'll be fine.

[–]always_sad121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

How’s it over?

I’m 5’9 dude with 400 days game time logged on Runescape. Been smashing since I was 14. 22 now. Not many friends but always had a girlfriend.

I did it by just making lifting, style, and aggressive escalation part of who I was.

That being said I don’t recommend the years I spent gaming (even if I had pussy during it). If you truly want to know how I reckon you could try ascending, shoot me a pm.

[–]sokic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude read the the side bar, everybody here will tell you that but one thing i highly recommend, which you can start tonight or now is to meditate! You need to train your mind to feel great about yourself, therefore find friends and fuck bitches. Goodluck man, your dreams start now.

[–]Random_throwaway_0000 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Step 1: Stop calling yourself an incel. Virgin sure, but not incel.

Step 2: Keto diet, and lifting.

Step 3: Ask better questions. Shit like "help me pls?" says nothing, things like "Where/how do I meet friends?", and "How to develop social skills?" and "How do I lose weight?" are much better ways to get help. Be direct, women like that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this YES

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think what some of the more aggressive voices on here mean is that you arent going to be mentored here. You have to read the sidebar and then report back what seems to worl or not work. this community doesnt take well to people who ask questions that are already noted in detail in the sidebar. so in essence the side bar is your mentor, along with life experiences based from the side bar, and we are here to clarify sometimes.

[–]DadOnDabs0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

All the advice I wanted to give to you has already been said here so I'll give you something else.

The world owes you nothing and you owe it nothing. The only person you owe anything to in this world or that owes you anything is yourself.

One thing the incel community (I hate that idea even exists) often gets hung up on and is a shared idea is ENTITLEMENT. The incel community seems to feel like they are entitled to women's bodies and they "deserve" sex for acting a certain way. Do you think they realize how fucked up that sounds?

If I were to walk up to you, compliment you, buy you lunch, and tell you that you're the most perfect human being to ever exist, you'd be a little creeped out right? You'd think I want something from you. Then when I asked you something like "hey let me stay at your place tonight" and you say "no I don't know you I'm not comfortable with that," because I've already come across as a weird creepy fuck, I get pissed off, call you a dick head friend, say "every guy I try to make friends with is the same, fuck you asshole", and you're just left there wondering wtf just happened.

That's how women feel. In that scenario I'm some rando dude trying to buy you shit so I can stay over at your place for god knows what reason. In the male to female scenario it's a guy buying a girl he doesn't know random shit, treating her like a princess, trying to force a relationship, and creating a false narrative of their relationship to each other in his head. All of that without her doing anything to earn it.

You don't deserve a woman's attention, she earns yours.

[–]Flintblood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I used to let my morbid curiosity take me to lookism, incels and braincels. But I couldn’t suffer it.

Despite what those communities say, looks maxing, and leveling up your frame and inner game (true confidence) significantly improves your odds. Self improvement is worth it. I

Think of self Improvement as level grinding a character in an RPG. Your PC starts out with some strengths and some weaknesses. Shore up weaknesses and max out the strengths to play on.

have my own story that one day I will write. I basically went from borderline neckbeard to getting looks and friendly flirts quite frequently in a matter of 4-5 months just by trimming down, lifting, wearing smarter clothes, grooming and working out my frame. The last steps for me now are working on approach and escalation.

[–]abudun790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No.1: Leave all Incel/MGTOW stuff behind and never go back

No.2: Lift until your left hand grows calluses, too

No.3: Read The Rational Male (blog over book) and then the rest of the sidebar

No.4: Go out and start experimenting

[–]burrrahhh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Start with not identifying yourself as an incel. What makes an incel is a lack of close relationships work on that, read nmmng.

[–]--23--- 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

1: Immediately unsubscribe from all time-wasting subreddits and websites, especially the porn ones. You know which they are. Set your browser’s homepage to this subreddit so that THIS is what you see all day, every day.

2: Join a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu or MMA gym. Find the money to make this happen. This is the biggest thing you can do for your self-confidence. It will also be the hardest thing to do, physically, but progress here will significantly impact all other aspects of your life. At 22, this will never be easier to start than it is today. Don’t be scared....everyone will be super friendly and happy you’ve joined them. This is your new family of men and badass women who can kill with their bare hands. After 6 months, you will be in a much better place to read and action the...

3: ...Sidebar.

Good luck!!! You can do this!!!

[–]pol012345 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I live in a small town and don't have access to a martial arts gym. Are there any resources I can use to teach myself those skills?

[–]stylesm110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dude you don't even have a bad frame to work with, you'll be fine. Some lifting and cardio will destroy that skinnyfat quick

[–]BloodSurgery0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

This is your only post in 3 years? You even have comment karma, yet no comments made. Could you explain?

But yeah, you are doing fine dude, understanding you have a problem is half the battle. Keep reading the top posts here and the sidebar and you will be fine.

[–]pol012345 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I'm insecure even online and will often delete my past posts when I go through them and cringe at my life.

[–]BloodSurgery0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know how you feel dude. When you look back and say "oh god this is so cringey, im gonna delete this post/comment so neither I nor anyone else will see this". Now, I simply embrace it. Dont give a fuck about what anyone thinks of you, or your posts in this situation. Be proud of your fails, of how you fucked up, and actually learn from your mistakes.

The Red Pill isnt simply about women, my man. Its a toolbox that you have to learn how to use to its fullest. Improve your body, improve your mind, improve your life, before even considering picking up girls.

If you need anything, just make a post, everyone here is willing to help. But you already know what you have do to right now.

[–]thebigpapadragon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You've been fucked more times you know. You will continue to be fucked in all the wrong ways unless you unfuck yourself.

The hardest part will be ridding yourself of the great illusion. The illusion that inceldom was/is a family. Familiarity breeds comfort, comfort is the enemy of change.

No one here wants you to fail. In life, you can't expect anyone to baby you and do all the work. I would say start with the sidebar. Read all the cornerstone books. No More Mr Nice Guy, When I Say No I Feel Guilty and I reckon it may help to stay clear of the female side for now. You need to evolve yourself before you move on to game or the toxicity towards women will remerge. All the other tips provided are equally valid.

[–]Kalepsis0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I will do whatever you say, you get to control my life.

This is your first, most important problem. Before anything else can change, you have to fix this mindset. Let me be clear: women fucking hate an obsequious push-over. If you're going to let other men tell you what to do and control your life, you will let women do the same, which will lead to unhappy relationships every time. Take control of your life and accept the fact that no one but you is responsible for your success. Achieving a rewarding sex life is like achieving success in school or business; unless you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you have to put in hard work and earn what you want.

With that being said, I will give you recommendations. It's your job to take the information you get from us, do your own research to find out what will work best for you, then make a decision and take action.

1) read the sidebar.

2) ketogenic diet. I'm at risk for diabetes, so I keep my carb intake below 25g per day and limit myself to 1800 calories. The by-product of a high-fat, low-carb diet is that you lose a significant amount of excess fat and your cholesterol goes down. Keto is basically the way humans are supposed to eat, evolutionarily. Stopping the carb intake has fixed my blood sugar levels, my high cholesterol is now low-normal, I no longer get daily heartburn, and my acne is completely gone. But I will warn you: if you decide to do it, commit to it. Don't do it for 2 weeks and stop like you want to, give it at least 6 months and really follow it. Keto takes a significant amount of willpower, considering sugar is more addictive than cocaine.

3) work out. If you're not already accustomed to exercise, work into it gradually. Going from zero to 100 right away can put you in the hospital. To start, you'll want to do about 50% cardio and 50% lifting. As you slim down and get used to lifting, move toward a 35% cardio/65% lifting regimen. For cardio, I take a brisk 7-10 mile walk with my dog 3 times a week and hit a heavy bag for 30 minutes. Running is good, too, but don't just use a treadmill, go the fuck outside. For lifting, I'm doing 5x5's. Others here will undoubtedly have different suggestions, but that's what works for me.

4) get a hobby. Do something that doesn't involve computers or game consoles. Take it from a guy who used to spend at least 4 hours a day with an xbox: getting away from the screen will be good for you. Go out into your community and find something fun that you can do with other people. Or at least something you can do alone and talk about with other people.

5) mingle. Push yourself to talk to people. Talk to women. The more you interact with people the better you will get. Ask women out. Be confident. You're going to get rejected, that's part of life. Whenever that happens, just remember that there are about 999,999,999 other women you can talk to.

[–]futterwackenformed 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

I am 5 '9" 160 lbs 24 year old brown virgin..i don't have a steady job , college dropout ,kicked outta parents house ,doesn't own an apartment , only have a shitty motorcycle that gives me trouble all the time, lives in a shithole of an Asian country. all my friends from college landed well paying jobs at good establishments and have progressed their way forward. most don't even have time to contact me monthly.I spend my weekends alone smoking pot and reading.

to the outside world my life appears pretty grim but I was always pretty content. content with myself and what little I had. The virginity part is mostly my own doing. I consider myself as a guy around the SMV spectrum of 3-4-5 and that is me being extremely honest. although I was never that attractive few women has shown me IOI s throughout high school and college, I could've smashed atleast a couple of them who were really into me. I cannot honestly place their SMV cause I was disgusted by most of them . there were these two girls in college who showed IOIs to me and I was really into them too. but my friends (one close and other just an acquaintance) had more courage than me and made the moves. I backed away cuz 'bros before hoes ' and all. I really cared for these guys and valued their friendship more. but now this fucker won't even talk to me. I guess he don't wanna drag his college trash to his newly found life and success. good for him.I'm over it all and I didn't think that I was missing something important by being a virgin.

the reason I found trp was not because I was not getting any V and being frustrated about it. actually it was quite the opposite.

I used to work at a small vehicle repair shop as an apprentice. this was not anything desirable but I was getting payed enough. enough to pay my rent and for my night school that I started to go to an year ago..so this job was important for me.

So my boscompls wife sits in cash for this place. she is in late 30s or early 40s I don't know exactly. Now this slut desperately wanted some D and started being flirty to me when her husband was not around. she was purposely grinding her ass to my body pretending like it was unintended. I have to say she was stirring up my virgin hormones crazy. she was average on looks with solid boobs that held up, unusual for her age. I would've happily fucked her brains out if it was not for my only source of income. it was not worth it. I acted passive to her advances until it really got under my skin. last march , she grabbed my balls over my pants. it slightly hurt ,I tried to push her away. may be it was strong.she lost her footing ,fell and bumped her head. commotion brought my two co workers to the scene and that was it for me . she was really pissed. I helped her off the ground. she was totally embarrassed. I took the rest of the day off . my boss fired me the same night via a phone call. l don't know what she said to her husband but he was very angry and threatened me over phone.I never saw him again.

looking back, I am very glad that I got away with such little consequences. she could've said I had sexually assaulted her or something and I would have no proof or say against her on that matter but didn't.

I couldn't rationalize her behavior. observed most women were similar in their actions. started looking for answers, found trp. Absolute heaven. now I am between odd jobs here and there but earning more, regularly attending my night classes, studying hard, started lifting, reading non fiction

[–]pol012345 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

So my boscompls wife sits in cash for this place. she is in late 30s or early 40s I don't know exactly. Now this slut desperately wanted some D and started being flirty to me when her husband was not around. she was purposely grinding her ass to my body pretending like it was unintended. I have to say she was stirring up my virgin hormones crazy. she was average on looks with solid boobs that held up, unusual for her age. I would've happily fucked her brains out if it was not for my only source of income. it was not worth it. I acted passive to her advances until it really got under my skin. last march , she grabbed my balls over my pants. it slightly hurt ,I tried to push her away. may be it was strong.she lost her footing ,fell and bumped her head. commotion brought my two co workers to the scene and that was it for me . she was really pissed. I helped her off the ground. she was totally embarrassed. I took the rest of the day off . my boss fired me the same night via a phone call. l don't know what she said to her husband but he was very angry and threatened me over phone.I never saw him again.

looking back, I am very glad that I got away with such little consequences. she could've said I had sexually assaulted her or something and I would have no proof or say against her on that matter but didn't.

I couldn't rationalize her behavior. observed most women were similar in their actions. started looking for answers, found trp. Absolute heaven. now I am between odd jobs here and there but earning more, regularly attending my night classes, studying hard, started lifting, reading non fiction

What the fuck?! I would kill to be in your position.

[–]bobaisdope0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Which Asian country are you from?

[–]rhinoglue0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Your number one priority right now should be getting to a gym and most importantly DISCIPLINING yourself to staying COMMITTED. IMO gym is the most important thing you can to improve several aspects of your life, like aesthetics, boost in T, and overwll health. LIMIT alcohol consumption, smoking weed, and other drugs. Sure there are functional smokers and drinkers but just use them in moderation. I'm guessing you don't have a haircut you're proud of right now. Get a good haircut that fits your face shape. Shave off any pedo mustache you might have, and please keep your sideburns neat and trim, not looking like pubes. One of the most important things you can do right now is a lot of READING, whether it be self-help books, etc. LIMIT playing games to 1-2 hrs a day maximum for when you finish all your responsibilites. CUT OUT PORN TOO. If you have acne, be proactively trying to take care of it. IIRC another person posted a guide on the main redpill sub on how to treat acne.

Don't worry about girls right now for a short while. Focus all your efforts into self-improvement for now, and if you have any questions, PM me.

[–]zboo1h0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're a squishy little baby and you're so unfocused and vague that you can't even fully commit to being a piece of shit.

What I'm saying is you've got almost nothing to worry about.

Stay down the "incel" path and you'll just stay a baby, a little boy who was probably raised by a thot single mom. You're already on the right path because you are aware that you are your own biggest problem. Taking yourself out of the incel "community" is good, coming here for help is good. Read the sidebar material. Read the TRP front page posts.

You gotta take control of your own life. You need to lift. You need to eat right. You probably need to go to bed earlier and stop jacking off to hentai websites all night.

First step is easy: get a gym membership and get in there. Do it yesterday. Look up some beginner programs. Focus on compound lifts and for the love of fuck don't lift with your ego. No one cares if you're benching 55 lbs next to some beast benching 405 for reps. Every minute that goes by without you being committed to a gym program is a wasted minute. Everyone started out weak and shitty. Everyone realized they could be better. Apply yourself.

[–]AnythingForSuccess 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy


[–]pol012345 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I want to roid but wouldn't know which ones to do. Is there a guide somewhere?

[–]BloodSurgery0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Dont roid. At all. You haven't even begun exercising yet and are trying the easy way out?

[–]red_matrix0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Step 1: read the Book of Pook, put the PDF on your phone and read it on the bus, when you're bored. You need to internalize this.

Step 2: lift weights, you have to create the habit and make this a lifestyle. It's also important to start eating healthy. Cut out soda's and milk, just drink water. Read The Iron and The Soul

Step 3: stop watching porn, stop using drugs, stop drinking and wasting your life. Time to go monk mode. Find your passion, learn something new, tune an old Integra, get a motorcycle. Make yourself better. Pretty soon you'll get mad for missing a gym day, that's progress.

Step 4: listen to the Black Philip Show, listen to it on your commute or at the gym. He's the red pill before the red pill. A lost icon. You can find the mp3's on ye olde favorite pirate site (or convert the YouTube to MP3).

Once you start doing these things, and you've created the habits, you will start to feel better, you'll start seeing yourself improve, and then you will start noticing women notice you. Become the man YOU want to be, and women want to come along for the ride.

You're not an incel. That's just an excuse. You can always do better. Be better.

[–]Frothyloads860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why incels don't mess with big women or prostitutes? Im not being a wise ass but when I'm in a draught thats what i do.

[–]martian940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lift. You can start with Pokémon GO or jogging and cardio, but you will. Need. To. Lift. Other than that you don't really need to do anything, your "frame" will come naturally when you're getting bulked from lifting. You'll notice this when the girls are the ones initiating contact. The meanies here in the comment section are mostly sour-pots anyway, don't let their foul mouth get to you, they're just fools which misunderstood what holding frame means. Oh, you are and will forever be alone on this. Which is both a curse and a blessing.

[–]SoulOf1Lion0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

lets start by eliminating roping as an option

[–]rayboomboom0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Side bar Lift Can’t stress this enough

[–]mushroom_overlord0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Eat well and lift to clear the skinnyfat. Low sugar intake, maybe keto but I don't know enough about it to recommend it to just anyone, just don't shy away from fats but do avoid unnecessary amounts of carbs (the part that actually makes you fat). 180 means your fat percentage is too high for a 5'11 guy if you don't have muscle.

Go out, dress well, and never touch the incel community again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm starting on the same "rid myself of incel" path myself, man. I'm 21 myself, and like the comments before stated, we're in the times of our lives to make good decisions that set us up for the glorious 30's and 40's! In addition to all the sidebar stuff on r/TRP, Google "The Red Pill Handbook." Download that and peruse the table of contents for topics that pertain to you. Specifically, the self-improvement section.

None of us want to control your life; we want to show you how to take control of your own life! To start, you should strength train. Mark Rippetoe says that strength is the foundation of human movement; beautiful things happen to your mental state when you're physically stronger. Being underneath a heavy barbell and squatting it for five reps has done A TON for my confidence in the last 3 months I've been doing the Starting Strength program. You should do that first. Pick up Starting Strength: Basic Barbell Training, 3rd Edition and enjoy going down that rabbit hole.

I've struggled with social skills myself, but the biggest thing is to get out there and talk to people. If you've ever heard of Christian McQueen, he has a podcast called A Man in Demand. Spend the $7, and subscribe to it for a month. Find episodes 108 and 109. His co-host, Goldmund, outlines 10 tactics for becoming more outgoing as an introvert. Apply those tactics and constantly get better.

Lastly, it's not over. The fact that you're seeking out this subreddit for advice speaks volumes in and of itself. You're seeking to unfuck yourself and be a man of worth instead of settling for being a cuck; I respect the hell out of that.

[–]FilthMonger850 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro forget lifting for now. Start Brazilian Jui Jitsu. You will lose weight, gain confidence, make friends and gain an invaluable skill.

[–]trpthrow9988770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Like most guys are saying here, your age makes EVERYTHING redeemable.

[–]Hipsdurr0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There is no ascension faggot. I did 15k cold approaches, lifted more than any weak-fags here, have 100x more confidence, am willing to throw down w/ huge black ex-cons (brave), am willing to approach hot girls who are with their 6'5 tough-guy boyfriends (and have), developed absolute mastery in art (would draw girls), and had a social job/made tons of money.

If you haven't tried your options, you're not incel. Just a faggot (cold approach is so brutal it is not necessary to try).

[–]griz3lda0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

If you're autistic (I am, and this advice is tailored to that context), I recommend getting at least one close confidant (can be online or whatever) who can help you parse the wild situations we get into with allistics. Also, try to get people to tell you about their personal problems (again, online, w/ ppl you won't know irl, and do it just by asking neutral questions and responding neutrally w/o attempting to comfort them); often the stories will be about interpersonal relationships and/or social behaviors and how they view them in self and others. DO NOT BECOME A WHITE KNIGHT AND GET INVOLVED, EVEN BY GIVING ADVICE. Over time you will be able to pattern match and recognize various psychological and social dynamics possibly better than non-autistics can, and you'll also be able to spot certain kinds of undesirable personalities miles away, including in females.

[–]pol012345 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I see. I will try this. It makes sense . Thank you. But I wouldn't know where to find such an online friend.

[–]griz3lda0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hmm. I've met people thru forums, chat, facebook, etc. But you'd have to trust their judgement meaning it probably shouldn't be someone you just met for that purpose (also, beware of friending/PMing girls uninvited on fb, some have a real stick up their ass about it and will assume it's sexual). Maybe a sibling/cousin?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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