I've been a lurker her for a while, but obviously i failed somewhere...
The evidence is irrefutable. She's cheated multiple times and is continuing to do so. She's using me right now until she can disappear one day and move out because she has nowhere else to go. I found out a few days ago and haven't said anything, i've just been hiding that I know it, i want to throw up every time i look at her, it's all catching up with me. We moved a year ago across country for my job when they relocated me to another office. She has noone out here. She lives with me in our (technically mine, i pay all the bills) apartment.
Our relationship has been a little bit stale lately, I've been working crazy hours and she picked up second jobs about 3 months ago and we just don't have the time to do anything. Still if our relationship was stale she should have said something, and not acted so dishonestly. She has no interest in fixing things is what I know. I'm sure that will be different when I confront her and make her get out on my terms instead of letting her continue to use me.
She has to go, I will not deal with a cheater. I've made up my mind, even at "best" if she turns around I'll never trust her again and just drive her away even if I did try and work it out. So i'm not going to delay the inevitable. I'm completely shocked, she's such a "good girl"... I never in a million years would have pegged her for a cheater... I still can't believe it... I've done recon and seen the evidence for myself. Now i'm just disgusted when i think of her. At this point i'm so enraged at her, I loved her and thought she loved me, wanted to get married, blah blah, but she can't stay... but as i sit here in our home while she's at work, sitting with her dog that i view as ours, all I can think about is the dog.
She won't be able to afford to take care of herself let alone the dog. I'm not sure where she's going to go since she has no family, they're on the other side of the country. I don't know what she's going to do with her things, but she can't stay. I feel bad for the dog because it did nothing wrong, but i know she's going to want to take it. And unless her new fuck buddy lets her move in, she's living out of her car and I'm stuck with enough of her possessions to fill a small box truck... I still love her, but she can't stay, but i feel bad kicking her on the streets too. I'm livid, feel nasueas, angry, depressed, etc, etc... I want to keep the dog, I know i'll be able to care for it better, but at the same time it's hers, and if i do keep it, it will just remind me of her.
So how the fuck do i let her know that I know? Part of me wants to cause her some of the pain she's causing me, the rest (majority) of me just wants to be a grown ass adult, confront her, cut her loose, move on, and not play any childish games. What do I do with all of this... I'm really quite a mess right now.
Update 1: I spoke with her last night, confronted her, we spoke for about 2 hours, no yelling or raise voices, i called her a slut and skank a few times though, I was calm and rational as could be but let my emotions get the better of me in those instances. I had to find out WHY and I have some answers and some closure, I got some, but i still feel like shit, but it will be a long road and I have been up all night. But what is necessary is done, there is no fixing this. I gave her until morning to get out, I woke her up at 5:30am and said you need to leave now and let her pack an overnight bag. Where she goes now isn't my problem... she can go stay at her fuck buddy's place. I'm keeping the dog until she gets her shit together and figures out what she's doing and she can pick it up with her things. The dog has a serious medical condition and i've been paying for it's treatment, i've paid for it's food, for the vette bills, for it's toys,pee pads, everything. I clean up after it far more than she does. It's as much mine as it is hers and i view it as more than mine than hers... but legally hers....
As for how i found out? I've had sneaking suspicions, it's been going on for a couple months. Secretive about her texts, especially at all hours of the night, so i snooped on her computer and found the evidence, if some people downvote me for that, fuck you because otherwise she would have gone on using me for who knows how long.