If your SMV is low, EG: you're fat, poor, unpopular or whatever then forget women/socialising/doing pointless shit for a good year 6 months to a year - just be utterly selfish forget everyone else and go do your own thing.

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March 25, 2014

If your SMV is low, go your own way for a bit. You get horny and need a release? Jack off to porn to get your release. Chasing poon with low SMV is just a disaster waiting to happen and it sets you back, a lot. I'm all for guys "overcoming approach anxiety" and getting good at game, but I wouldn't recommend anyone practices game until they're on a solid footing in life. Game is a "a less immediate need" than making sure your mental health is good and that you're in control of your finances and have some general life direction. Without a strong sense of self as a foundation at the bottom, it's a fools errand to pursue higher levels of need like sexual satisfaction, self-satisfaction should always take priority over sexual satisfaction.

Practicing game when you're dirt poor, suffering from low self-esteem/depression/lack of confidence, don't have enough food in the fridge or whatever is retarded, you're placing a "less immediate need" higher in priority than the shit that matters. You need a good foundation to build a strong empire, if you're focusing on getting laid and getting good with women before you have any sort of stability in your life, you're lacking disposable income, your mind isn't thinking healthy/productive/positive etc then you really need to take time out to fix yourself before you start trying to go and get other people to like you. You'll find it hard to make friends, let alone get laid, if your life is a fucking state because you're a fucking state.

Make money, learn some shit, go to the gym. Too scared to go the gym because it's full of guys twenty times your size? Try to get over it. Can't get over it? Get a weight set and work out at home, use a fitness program from the internet, once you have acquired some fitness and seen some gains and got a bit of confidence you won't be so bothered about entering an actual gym. Small steps. Everyones at different stages, some low value guys have crippling social anxiety as a result of their lack of value, other guys don't find doing normal things like going out and talking to people or entering a gym and working out there a big deal, whatever, this advice is here for those who need it, it'd be pretty obnoxious to disregard common issues low value men have "because it's beta" remember most people in this sub start beta, some even omega, everyone's on a quest to become more alpha/masculine. Don't forget your roots if you're not a natural, don't scoff at the new guy if he's trying, respect that. Not just on the sub, but in real life too.

Often self-improvement means other shit has to go on hold. If you're a fat guy or an omega WoW player who aimlessly jacks off all over the hotkeys and has no direction in life, you stumbled on TRP and you message me asking me for advice on "how to incorporate TRP into your life" I would say forget bitches for about 6 months to a year and go work on yourself. You have to like yourself so other people can like you. Make sure you're in a job that doesn't have you working with people that make you want to cut your own wrists on a daily, better to lower your income and work with people you enjoy working with, rather than earn more but be stuck with thunder cunts who make you contemplate the merits of self-harming. If you have no source of income, get one. You need one. Money = freedom. More money equals more freedom.

Have direction, have projects. Focus on things. Lack of focus = failure. Myself included, I've known many people full of talent who lack the proclivity to apply themselves. You can be a brain box but if you don't feel motivated or see a point in anything then you'll just fulfill your immediate needs and end up a failure rather than build yourself into a success. Fear is relevant, fear of the unknown. Something 50 Cent says is "Those who are afraid of change stop themselves from becoming great" it's true. Potential can be wasted. Don't waste your life away. The younger you are the better, but fuck even if you're 40 - better to turn around now than turn around at 50. Once you hit 50 you only would have said "shit I've known this since 40, I should have done something then" and then compounded your own sense of frustration even further. Control the time you have left and make it valuable.

Remember, nobody gives a fuck about you except your parents (assuming your parents aren't cunts too or you're not so old that they've gone and died.) Most of your friends are more associates than they are friends, they won't give much of a fuck about you they're so busy doing their own shit the only time they think about you is when they want you for something that benefits them - need company to go drinking or some crap like that.

You're practically invisible to girls if you have low SMV so don't even bother. Don't resent them, you don't like low smv girls yourself, just become better to become noticeable. You don't even like yourself. Go give yourself a reason to like yourself. Try to do at least TWO THINGS everyday that make you a better person. Jog, read an interesting book, earn some money. Learn to be funny, surround yourself with funny people. I make it a habit to talk to people with wit/sense of humour, I watch a lot of stand up comedy. Comedy is important to me, comedy is medicine. Comedy can stop a man in pain turning insane, watch that shit. Not taking serious things seriously is a great coping mechanism for dealing with the bullshit life throws at you. Keep your mind healthy by working on yourself, use comedy as a painkiller to assist in that if you need to.

I believe a lot of guys who are really bottom of the barrel whether they're flat out undesirable or just ridiculously poor (and thus need to get money on lockdown) need to take a serious hiatus from the sexual/social game and just focus on improving their situation, their money, their inner game/sense of self. It's like sports, sometimes a player has gotta go on the bench when he's too worn out or injured. Get on the bench and fix yourself and then you can fight to live another day.

Keep at it, you can make it.


Post Information
Title If your SMV is low, EG: you're fat, poor, unpopular or whatever then forget women/socialising/doing pointless shit for a good year 6 months to a year - just be utterly selfish forget everyone else and go do your own thing.
Author IllimitableMan
Upvotes 773
Comments 202
Date 25 March 2014 10:56 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/13082
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/21d4uw/if_your_smv_is_low_eg_youre_fat_poor_unpopular_or/
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[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad129 points130 points  (53 children) | Copy

Rock solid advice. It's a marathon, and you'll be amazed how far you'll get by perseverance alone. Talent is mostly a myth. I see so many young people with advantages they squander away by relaxing into their advantage. With attractive girls certainly among the worst offenders.

My sons were so relieved to know how the shitty grind they face in their 20's pays off handsomely in their 30's. And all those rude bitches they meet will eventually get the harsh reality they deserve.

[–]Endorsed ContributorRedPillDad77 points78 points  (25 children) | Copy

Here's something I worked on that might help broaden perspective...

Spectator Mode: Waiting around for something to happen. This passive (feminine) approach kills the potential for seduction.

Chode Mode: Wasting time on distractions. Not achieving or learning anything. Acting like a self-centered, self-indulged child resisting the transition to adulthood.

Fantasy Mode: Where you lose yourself in an alternate reality - such as online games, porn and watching sports. With these forms of escapism, you feel successful, powerful and respected. They trick your brain with the illusion of success. You feel a sense of accomplishment, but, in reality, your real life is neglected.

Champion Mode: is intense and driven. It's stepping up to take charge of yourself and the situation. Ambition and self-discipline are the essence of what it means to be a man.

Beast Mode: Very physical approach with a more primal, masculine style. You act on primitive instincts instead of being stuck on the sidelines. This beast mode is effective in competitive sports as well as pickup. You want to clear your head of thoughts and attack forward without any doubts or inhibitions.

Pimp Mode: A variation of champion mode where all your drive is directed towards seduction. Pimp mode can help develop your swagger, but if you go overboard like some guys do, the game can completely take over your life.

Sustaining pimp mode can leave you off balanced, unsatisfied and less attractive as you neglect the champion mode aspects of your life... You don't want to be another shallow, damaged soul with hollow eyes who has dedicated his life to pickup and has amounted to nothing beyond that.

There are plenty of other mode variations to consider such as social mode versus professional mode. The point is to become intentional and more versatile. Most guys are flat out dull with no concept of mode variation.

EDIT: Be careful of "Critical Mode" where you sit back and poke holes in things. You want to build and strengthen, not come up with easy excuses as to why it's not worth the effort. You have to be willing to embrace ideas that serve you, even if they aren't perfect. It's a girly move to criticize, focus on exceptions and do nothing.

[–]peepshowfan23 points24 points  (8 children) | Copy

I've been in chode mode for a solid two years now. Well, time to change.

[–]Shire_Leaf27 points28 points  (7 children) | Copy

I've been in spectator/fantasy mode for several years, found TRP and How to become a man and it opened my eyes. This last week I said FUCK THIS LAZINESS and bitch slapped myself, got a decent paying job and some new clothes(for work), Started Nofap(had a serious porn addiction), restarted keto and working out, and cut alcohol and weed down too. Time to keep this shit going and fix myself. I am going 90days hardcore Fix myself mode to become a MAN. After that It will be time to evaluate where I am and see about outer game and put what I have learned into action.

[–]VelociReactor2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Nofap is a great exercise in self control. I'm on day 180 myself atm.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

I can't believe the lust i feel on a daily basis since I stopped jerking off. Talk about fucking motivation.

[–]VelociReactor-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yep, when you jack off all day you lose that motivation to go out and do something with your life.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

do you have any real advice on how to quit? i really want to and every day i want it to be the last day but you know... i can't.

[–]VelociReactor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

/r/NoFap http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/wiki/index

Start by watching this awesome TED talk, Identify your problem and what it's doing to you. http://youtu.be/wSF82AwSDiU

The important thing here is not HOW do you quit, but WHY do you want to stop, It's a lesson in self control.

For me, It took being in bed with a beautiful woman, and not being able to get it up to inspire me to finally take the nofap journey.

It's not easy, but even if you go a week without fapping, you're making progress.

So do this, try and go one week. that's right, 7 days without fapping and see how you feel, that's all it took for me to realize that this was real, and compulsive fapping was having a huge negative affect on my life and I had to do something about it.

Preferably start your journey early on the week so that you get your day 7 testosterone spike around the weekend, go out and you'll feel that passion and drive to talk to people and meet girls.

[–]connorcook13-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm actually going on 18 and a half years... AMA.

[–]daftpunkfunk24 points25 points  (6 children) | Copy

Fantasy Mode: Where you lose yourself in an alternate reality - such as online games, porn and watching sports. With these forms of escapism, you feel successful, powerful and respected. They trick your brain with the illusion of success. You feel a sense of accomplishment, but, in reality, your real life is neglected.

Goddamn League of Legends

[–]morsX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I still play Counter-Strike Global Offensive competively. I set aside about 12 hours a week to play with my team and view the time spent no differently than if I was engaged in a more physical sport. I work as a software engineer now and have been weight lifting seriously for 3 months now. I am in better mental and physical shape than I have ever been previously in my life.

Life is all a game of balancing your time.

[–]lillojohn0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I was there too.

[–]ButtonJoe1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I honestly don't think games are always a bad thing as long as you're not putting off other things that need to be done.

If you're sitting around all day playing wow or some shit, then you're wasting your time and fooling yourself into thinking you're anything but a lazy prick.

But if you're home after a days work, already worked out and done what you need to do, fuck it, have fun.

[–]Complecs2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This. Some people go overboard with their 'kicking the habit' mindset and drop the shit all together. For me at least, when I tried that I thought I had more self control because of it, but it didn't take long for me to realize it showed almost as little as playing all day(if it truly is a passion in your life). For me games are an outlet, and that 'cheers' like atmosphere that I can log into every night after a long day of work to catch up with friends, and do something fun while im at it. I now keep it under control now, versus the 3 years I spent 70+ hours a week playing games, I now keep it to less than 8 during the work week, and however much I want on the weekends, as long as I get my shit done. This was before I found TRP, and now instead of playing games all weekend I've found myself going out and finding other ways to enjoy life, but I've never excluded video games.

[–]stupid_fucking_name1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's true, but like any habit, some people just can't handle moderation and have to kick it altogether.

[–]t21spectre0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Studies have been done on this. The brain makes no distinction in it's reward center between accomplishments in real life and in simulated worlds (video games, social networking likes/upvotes etc.) Like "achievements" on xbox, a cheap gimmick to keep people playing.

[–]InferiousX2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Pimp mode can help develop your swagger, but if you go overboard like some guys do, the game can completely take over your life.

I posted this a little while ago in regards to pursing women as part of the break up recovery.

A good gauge I think, is imagine talking about yourself and what you've been up too without mentioning any hookups or women. If you are coming up blank, you're spending too much time on pussy and not investing enough in yourself in other constructive ways.

[–]DreadMe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have some friends that have gone into "fantasy mode" and not come out they are addicted to Wow. I used to play when I was younger, until I figured out it is really just a shitty version of real existence.

[–]checkered_floor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

i was in Spectator mode for years... spent all last year to work on myself. About to join the military after shedding 50lbs got a beautiful girlfriend in the process, by this i guess im in Champion mode.

Love yourself first and everything falls into line.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

been in spectator/chode/fantasy mode forever. slowly climbing out of that. awesome post.

[–]JGH87630 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There has to be a transition to 'champion mode', like 'trying to get into champion mode but haven't gotten there yet, but clear-headed and knows the avenue to success, and not wasting time on distractions and fantasy...mode'. I think most of us here are in that mode. 'Grind mode'?

[–]laere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think I'm between champ and beast mode. Used to be spectator mode for my early 20's (now 25) I STILL GOT TIME!

[–][deleted] 25 points25 points | Copy

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[–]theozoph7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

No Asian or White man has ever broken the 10 second 100 meter mark, West Africans do it regularly.

Not saying you're wrong in your analysis of genetic advantage, but white French guy Christophe Lemaitre broke the 10s barrier 4 years ago, and since then established a personal record of 9,92s. And everyone agrees the guy has poor form, and room for growth.

Genetics vary widly within a given population : a statistical disadvantage can be offset by a luck of the draw. Yeah Chinese are small on average, but Yao Ming is 7'6".

Genetics might be destiny, but race isn't.

[–][deleted] -1 points-1 points | Copy

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[–]theozoph2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm just saying your own genetics matter more than your race. I'm never going to be a decent sprinter (I've got the typical white man swimmer build), but neither was Gary Coleman.

[–]still_very_alive3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

It's true that if you want to be one of the best, truly world-class at one thing, you need a combination of vast innate talent and grueling hard work. This goes for pretty much everything But on the day-to-day side of things, for most people - hard work alone is enough, and is the more important of the two. (Talent does help, though)

[–]colovick2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Talent separates the half million dollar contracts from the 20 million dollar contracts, hard work separates the burger flippers from the pro players

[–]still_very_alive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well put. I'll probably be quoting that at some point.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I would flip that around.

[–]colovick0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

For the sake of flow I agree, but the meaning isn't lost in the wording as is

[–]glacierelement5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

In some sense you're right, you are stuck with your genetics. However, that doesn't affect what you can accomplish in the big picture.

Sure you can't be the number 1 basketball player in the NBA... That is luck of the draw. Not only in terms of genetics but also environment.

However, the people who excel in fields where genetics doesn't exactly dictate your future generally spent a lot of time practicing and refining.

Malcolm Gladwell wrote a book called outliers. Two big examples from the book are Bill Gates and the Beatles. By the time they reached the peaks of their careers, they had put in over 10,000 hours into their trades. In Bill Gates case, he was lucky because he started using computers when they first became available.

10,000 hours doesn't seem like a lot. In reality that means if for the next 10 years of your life you spent 2 hours per day working out and that's every fucking single day. No breaks. Then you would probably become an expert at working out, assuming throughout that time you would be constantly trying to improve. Same thing with women if you spent 2 hours every day trying to seduce women, you would become an expert after 10 years, if you spent 4 hours a day you could do it in 5. And that is an underestimation that's only 7300 hours according to this rule.

Same thing with confidence, no giving a shit, trying to make money... All of that takes practice and experience.

Your genetics may give you a capacity for intelligence but it is your experience that provides you with wisdom.

Practice makes perfect. But ya no shit nobody is perfect.

[–]dancingwithcats1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Genetics most certainly do affect what you can accomplish in the big picture, that big picture being life. One still needs discipline to capitalize on one's talents and gifts, but if applied properly they can make one successful in every aspect of life.

[–]glacierelement0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Affect but don't dictate.

[–]dancingwithcats0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Which is not what you said.

[–]glacierelement0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

In some sense you're right, you are stuck with your genetics. However, that doesn't affect what you can accomplish in the big picture.

Sure you can't be the number 1 basketball player in the NBA... That is luck of the draw. Not only in terms of genetics but also environment.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy

The ten thousand hours thing is a myth, one that becomes obvious if you think about it for a bit -- is ten thousand hours practicing layups in basketball confer mastery of the layup? Or is it ten thousand hours playing as a point guard, conferring mastery of the role?

And then there's the matter of creativity -- if I spend ten thousand hours playing the guitar in my garage, do I master the guitar or do I just master the riffs and chords I was practicing for years? Did Guderian spend ten thousand hours commanding tank armies before he invented the concept of a tank army, laying such a theoretical framework for it that he effectively invented the blitzkrieg? What about Archimedes or Newton?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not a myth, because it's based on how much practice was required for many world-class athletes, musicians etc. to reach their level.

if I spend ten thousand hours playing the guitar in my garage, do I master the guitar or do I just master the riffs and chords I was practicing for years?

If you actually practice (which is not the same as playing), you'll be a 'world-class' guitar player after ten thousand hours, yes.

[–]glacierelement4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your first two points don't really make sense. You would be killer at layups/a killer point-guard if you practiced that much. Sure you wouldn't be in the NBA for instance but you would probably the best at the local gym. (Assuming you started young).

Sure if you are lucky you will excel at something without putting in the time. But if you aren't naturally gifted then 10,000 hours will help a lot. Newton and arguable Archimedes were geniuses. Newton invented calculus. Not many people alive today could do that. You are taking about guys that made major breakthroughs... If you study math for 10,000 hours (lets say calculus) you will be an expert at calculus but that doesn't mean you will start inventing new theorems (although you would be more likely than without those 10,000 hours).

[–]improve_myself0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

If you're White or Asian, you will never be a world class sprinter.

Not with that attitude.

No Asian or White man has ever broken the 10 second 100 meter mark

This is no longer true. Christophe Lemaitre has ran 100m in 9.92s

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–]improve_myself2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

The worlds 2nd and 3rd fastest 100m men are 1.78 and 1.80m, the 5th is 1.70m. I can only agree with your third paragraph.

[–]1dongpal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you simply forgetting the most important part, fast twitch and slow twitch fibers

[–][deleted] 1 points1 points | Copy

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[–]Endorsed Contributorbicepsblastingstud0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This isn't really the case. There are far too many genetic differences to be able to say "it's the muscle fibers," and many sprinters who aren't that good have the same fiber ratios.

[–]Zaorish90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think the point is, you need to forget about talent and genetics if you are going to push yourself to improve. You need to believe in your own potential for improvement.

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is the best post I've read on this sub.

The thing I like about TRP is that people are here to support you to become better, even if you're rock bottom. These Blue Pillers will attack "guys that can't even get laid" or "probably has a small dick". When we know its like 20% of dudes fucking 80% of the women.

Over here at the RP they say, "so your fucking rock bottom? So what? Time to lift yourself up! It can only get better from here".

[–]EducatedCavemen12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck yeah! The only person that can truly help you is yourself. If you won't help yourself NOBODY else will. Blue Pillers follow the crowd and think that there is an excuse for somebodies shitty behavior. TRP is about knowing who you are, going out there and becoming your best self. If you fucked up, tough shit, you just fucked up. Learn and then try again.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. Ironically enough, taken in another context a lot of the self-help stuff I read on here could be reworded to the kind of "work on yourself, do your best" crap BP society forces down your throat. But it sticks when I hear it here, because it is qualified by the foundation for why one needs to improve - that you are not special or important, and that you are the sum of what you are capable of achieving. That people won't "love you anyway". When seen through that lens, self improvement isn't some abstract, romantic ideal; its an absolute necessity to make the most of your days.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (13 children) | Copy

You know why this is especially great advice? Because there are guys out there who start out learning game, they get one unusually attractive girl interested (usually half-accidentally), turn blue pill, lose her, and get set back to where they were before, if not worse. By actually raising your value, women get interested for the right reasons - and you wont have to "fake it to make it", you will genuinely be a man with value and options.

[–]garlicextract10 points11 points  (8 children) | Copy

A large part of this is mentality - how do you convince yourself you're worthy of the finest pussy after being beta for such a long time?

I'm following most of the advice in this post, and have managed to remove women from the pedestal (which is HUGE). But the fact remains, my notch count is shitty, all I can claim is I'm not a virgin. I've been self improving by lifting and also academically... but what happens when you attract a hot chick for the right reasons (since I will soon/do have options)... and then you get into bed, surely it will take her less than a minute to sense a guy has very little sexual experience. Also,- she won't be wowed or impressed whatsoever when I take my boxers off. Maybe a bit underwhelmed. It's the cold truth of the matter.

I mean, one or the other, but very little sexual experience and an average/small penis? I'll eat her out real nice but... that's not a good combo, especially for the girls I want to attract.

[–]1independentmale10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

and then you get into bed, surely it will take her less than a minute to sense a guy has very little sexual experience.

Maybe, maybe not. Who cares? You practice to get better. So what if she doesn't enjoy herself and never fucks you again? Learn from the experience and you'll be better for the next girl, and the next, and the next and so on.

Don't beat yourself up over it. None of us were born sex gods. We had to figure it out as we went along.

[–]deville054 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Bitches say they care about penis size, but the really dont. Porn sells us dick size cuz it appeals to our ego. In reality its insignificance is insignificant. Guys get horny by a hot body. Girls can get horny just by who you are. Use your penis wisely though oh and for the most part.. If yr inexperience, Fake it till you make it. Good luck

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just think, Doesn't matter: Had sex. Maybe she will be like "meh", but who cares, next time will be better.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've got a buddy (5'6) with a small dick who held down one of the hottest chicks in our high school. He played hockey and was in great shape, and prided himself on eating pussy well. A small dick does suck, though, but I guess it can be overcome.

[–]A5M2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Focus more on your own pleasure and getting her to do what you want.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You can give up, or you can make it work for you.

It's that simple.

Also, I highly doubt your dick is that small.

[–]colovick2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

As a guy who's been blessed with more than the average bear, it's equally depressing to think about how little it matters... I've scared off a girl or 2 with it, but very few are interested in me because they've heard about my package...

[–]ContinueTheInquiry0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Check out "Sex God Method".

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

and you wont have to "fake it to make it", you will genuinely be a man with value and options.

I had this issue for a little while . I didn't have enough inner game to keep my charades going.I could fuck bitches that were 7s and higher but nothing developed because I lacked substance of longevity desire.

Being poor sucks. Your self esteem can take a huge hit for the longest that way. Thus resulting you go back to your blue pill methods.

Liken this to :

A 89 hatchback Honda with a sick looking body job and a sweet looking tail fin, but the engine is from 1989 and hasn't been modified at all.Stepping your game up change out that engine and drop a NoX kit with a suspension system etc to resemble more alpha oriented traits..

Or for us “Sigmas" like myself with that 03 Buick Regal with the super charger in it and you don't realize you have potential with that car and need to bring it that sleeper beast in it to out rock 644 horses with just a few inexpensive tweaks just to know you don't have to be flashy . You have powered potential without the need of a car club to prove it.

[–]Zaorish90 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly what happened to me recetnly. Since I started reading, it's so clear now. I am now printing all this shit out, and focusing.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

GUILTY AS CHARGED. Except I read up, it worked on the first I found, stuck it out for several years. Why. Just why. I was the one who broke it off I'd just had enough.

Pbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb it's all so clear in the rearview, but I have to think I couldn't get to this great place without sacrificing a few years.

[–]Air4ce164 points65 points  (26 children) | Copy

I did this for four months May-August. I went into Cocoon mode. I already lifted, but for these three months I lifted (and slept) for 6 days a week and more intense than ever. I would only hang out with friends on Saturday night after my morning lift (Sunday was rest day anyways). Mentally I started reading a lot more and just extracurricular stuff for my major.

When I went back to my university the first thing people said was, "Wow you got jacked." This was mainly from guys, but I later found out that all my female friends definitely noticed they just didn't say it. It turns out that life got easier when I got selfish. I became happier because I am doing things that make me happy. People start treating you differently when you lift. Guys are more inclined to respect and not intentionally disrespect you. Girls don't come up to me but they are more receptive if I approach them (I have to work on this) I'm the kind of guy that doesn't like to have one night stands, but rather friends with benefits (more stable I guess). I don't know if that's red pill ideology or not. Anyways the point of this is if you need to go into cocoon mode, do it. You'll come out a better man.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 45 points46 points  (13 children) | Copy

"Cocoon mode" I like that term. It's good. I'm going to use that, if you don't mind. Thanks for contributing.

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

I call it "going monk." You need these times to focus on yourself.

[–]DirtyD277 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm pretty sure that was coined on /fit/, very similar to what you guys described. As big of a shitshow as it is, I learned a lot on there and it directed me to TRP.

[–]Air4ce15 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It was. /fit/ is nice to go and get a good laugh and that's about it.

[–]Air4ce17 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't mind at all.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points | Copy

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

...they have is better running genes.

That sounds like a bullshit excuse to me.

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points | Copy

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don't doubt that some are naturally better at running than others, but unless you know for sure that they're not training, resting, eating and sleeping better than you are, it's still just an excuse.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Mind sharing your workout routine? Six days is a lot, unless you're doing a different body part each day.

[–]Duderson6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not the one you asked, but I'll answer just to give more variety. In college, I lifted 7 days a week. This was my split:

Day 1: Chest/Back

  • Incline Barbell Bench Press, Weighted Pull-Up, Flat DB Press, Chin-UP, Incline Fly, T-Bar Row, Flat Fly, Barbell Row, Hyperextension

Day 2: Shoulders/Arms

  • Military Press, Lateral Raise, Arnold Press, Rear Raise, Weighted Dip, Barbell Curl, Overhead DB Extension, Hammer Curl

Day 3: Legs

  • Squat, Leg Press or Front Squat, Seated Leg Curl, Stiff-Legged Deadlift, Heel Raise

Day 4: Chest/Back

  • Flat Barbell Bench Press, Weighted Chin-Up, Incline DB Press, Pull-Up, Flat Fly, Cable Row, Incline Fly, DB Row, Hyperextension

Day 5: Shoulders/Arms

  • Military Press, Lateral Raise, Incline Lateral Raise or DB Press, Rear Raise, Weighted Dip, Alternating DB Curl, Cable Pushdown, Preacher Curl

Day 6: Legs

  • Same

Day 7: Extra

  • Heavy Deadlifts (sets ranging from 1-10 repetitions), Shrugs, Cleans (rarely), Reverse Curls, Wrist Curls

Once per month I would do heavy flat barbell bench presses and squats (down to doubles and singles). In general, I would take my primary chest, back, shoulders and leg movements down to the 3-5 repetition range after pyramiding up in weight and down in repetitions.

Routines like this only work if you can eat a lot and get enough sleep to avoid over-training. Also, proper form is always important, but if you're going to lift 5+ days per week, it becomes even more so because of the higher baseline strain such frequent training will put on your body. I included my movements just to be detailed. I grew a lot and got much stronger on this routine, but mileage may vary.

[–]Air4ce14 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I switch between workout routines. When I'm home I have more time to workout so I follow a ABABABx routine. When I'm at school I follow an AxBxCxx. The "x' being rest days. Generally if my workload isn't heavy then I'll do the first routine. What it stems down too is the first routine is A day- Chest, Shoulders, Back. B day- Legs and Arms. The ABC is this http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/wotw21.htm it's the second place workout. The only reason I workout 6 days a week is because I had ample enough time to eat and sleep a lot since I went into the whole cocoon mode. In terms of exercises as long as you're doing the main compound movements the accessory exercises shouldn't matter. The only time I do the 3 day is split is when I'm busy or training for basketball (currently) so I have to cut down o weightlifting.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]ButterMyBiscuit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If you're past a novice level of lifting, you can do body parts twice a week. I have 3 routines, let's call them day 1, 2, and 3 that focus on different areas. My week generally goes 1,2,3,1,2 and I rest on the weekend.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Definitely going cocoon mode this summer.

[–]Dream4eva1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is funny as I'm currently in cocoon mode right now.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You only slept 6 days a week?

[–]Air4ce10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I see my grammatical error. I lifted six days a week, slept every night.

[–]JohnGalt31649 points50 points  (8 children) | Copy

this doesn't only apply to ugly betas

even if you have a nice job after college and are still banging girls, don't get complacent. my buddies and i got entry-level jobs after college. we did the whole 9-5/bar+club lifestyle. however, i wasn't satisfied with doing that for the rest of my life.

4 years later, i'm finishing up medicine while they are still at their entry-level jobs. what happened? we were making money, going out, having fun, and getting girls. that was enough for them. even though they still go to the gym regularly, they've gained that beer belly and don't ever make any gains.

we used to all talk about how we were going to do great things. each one of them had amazing plans for their life. when i last visited them, they were STILL talking about how they've gotten too lazy and they are going to finally change and do something with their life. it is sad to see my friends deteriorate in front of your own eyes. they've stuck themselves into LTRs with the trashy sloots we used to ridicule.

i gave up going out regularly and my numbers have dipped, but i gained an intrinsic happiness that comes from truly believing you are on the right path for your life.

[–]phil61918 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy

It is time to get new friends that correlate with your goals.

[–]abutterfly4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Honestly, I'm still in undergrad and this is my biggest problem.

[–]StLaag0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Get on that asap. My biggest regret from my undergrad days is the friends I hung out with (mostly because it is just easier to keep doing whatever it is you are doing even if you know it's not for you - status quo bias http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Status_quo_bias).

My advice fuelled by hindsight: just be ruthless. Look around for the people you want to hang out with that /u/phil619 said - who correlate best with your goals. And it is really easy to do that in undergrad. Then, phase out your current friends.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't hate on your friends. Not everyone NEEDS to be obsessed with achieving things for the sake of achieving things.

Your friends are making bank and getting laid - they're doing far better than most men.

I noticed there are a lot of people on this sub obsessed with achievement but fuck it, if you're enjoying life, keeping fit/healthy and sustaining yourself financially you're doing fine. No need to become some hotshot CEO (or in your case, doctor) who lives to work.

[–]ButterMyBiscuit6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your friends are making bank

I doubt they're making bank at an entry level job. They're just not poor.

[–]ilovemyself1011 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What made you go into medicine?

[–]bassivemalls1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I believe the go-to answer to the question is: this.

[–]TRP VanguardCyralea13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

You wouldn't try to sell a completely beat-down house if your goal was to maximize revenue when you can make simple upgrades and greatly increase its value, and similarly you shouldn't be looking to market yourself if you're too hard of a sell. You see the most gains at the start with the least amount of effort. A few weeks in the gym, a re-vamp of your wardrobe, a few weekends practising a new skill.

Spot on post. Take a little time out and improve your product before you go about trying to sell it. Been my motto for a while. Especially true with money, a half a years savings makes a huge difference for mental comfort.

[–]vox_veritas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take a little time out and improve your product before you go about trying to sell it.

That's a great TL;DR of the OP, and a very good way to think about these things in general.

[–]musicvita255 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I agree with this so so much.

My personal journey took me longer then expected. I started my own business I struggled for so long. I was hardly meeting girls. I had low confidence. I had self doubt.

But then I basically did the following;

I took risks in my business - Huge financial ones. They paid off because they were calculated risks, but risks nonetheless.

I styled my hair - Believe it or not, a gamechanger. I had very thick, unfashionable hair, I went and got it relaxed, I look like a rockstar.

I bulked the fuck up - I eat a lot, I train a lot. I have apparently "massive arms" broad shoulders, and a broader chest. I didnt realise it, but thats 6 months of lifting right there.

I wear simple clothing - Black tees, leather black jackets, I overload on black. It suits me as I have dark features.

These things have got me to a better place. I've improved myself. I am no longer surprised when a girl likes me. Its because I have vastly improved. Its all thanks to TRP. Theres no turning back now.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Swingbladez 9 points9 points [recovered] | Copy

Great post, 10/10. Describes the action stage of Redpill very well, I started to hit this stage about 6 weeks ago, and concentrated on work, work studies, gym, diet and nothing else. Ditched chemical vices and cant imagine going back.

Make sure you hit this transition, apply it to your WHOLE LIFE EVERYDAY, and once you see the benefits, tangible and feels, keep increasing it. You will realize you have at least twice as much mental and physical energy than you knew was possible. Shit, I have been lifting 5/6 times a week, getting a 30% increase in salary (negotiated up from the offer too, for the first time), working two jobs in the interim and can directly attribute my mental state while achieving this to Redpill philosophy.

Ignore people trying to drag you into their frame of misery, bluepill frustration and bitchy resentment. They are everywhere and take all forms young and old, male and female. Identify and engage with natural alphas, feed off their energy and learn - they get it without reading a blog or website, they are your rolemodel at a level that an article cant be.

Its fun to sneer at feminism, watch hamsters hamstering, sloots hitting the wall but that is not of value to you beyond proof and context. Put this to use hard now, or first thing tomorrow if its bedtime, because otherwise you will get bored of reading every manosphere blog every day and eventually drift back to the matrix

[–]vox_veritas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Its fun to sneer at feminism, watch hamsters hamstering, sloots hitting the wall but that is not of value to you beyond proof and context. Put this to use hard now, or first thing tomorrow if its bedtime, because otherwise you will get bored of reading every manosphere blog every day and eventually drift back to the matrix

Exactly. You can spend all day reading Red Pill 'philosophy' and 'theory', but without any action, all you become is a keyboard jockey.

[–]garlicextract4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Great post.

So I'm gaining the fitness, having started a lifting regimen. I'm also back in school after my bachelors' degree pursuing a Masters. I exhibit better posture and body language, and I've noticed that women have noticed - they say hi more often, or watch me when I'm lifting, whereas before I was invisible.

I'm doing these two things for myself, and things are getting better - except game. Girls are noticing me more, and I can hold a conversation with anyone (I was pretty fun at parties before TRP, so this isn't new), but I still have no natural "game" and it ends up with them thinking they had a nice conversation but this guy isn't sexually interested in them (I assume).

Any tips? Thanks.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 15 points16 points  (4 children) | Copy

Sounds like you need to develop your wit. Join a comedy club/watch stand-up and try to hang out around witty people. Wit is like a muscle, it needs to be developed. A keen wit is the difference between an awkward guy with nothing to say and the guy who pulls the cutie giving him indications she's interested. Also, on fear: don't be afraid to escalate. Tell her to put her number in your phone if you want her number, she says no? Oh well, the sun's still in the sky and your hearts still pumping who really gives a fuck.

[–]garlicextract2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I know this is going to sound like a real beta bitch statement but here goes:

Pre RP, I'd always shoot myself in the foot by being too much a pussy to ask a girl out to a place, just me and her. Hot girls intimidated me... Essentially, I'd be afraid she would get "bored" of me, there would be an awkward silence, etc. Her finding me boring/not knowing what to say is seriously the biggest mental block.

I swallowed the pill recently so there hasn't been much time yet to spit game.

I will take the wit suggestion seriously, but I know I'll never be that ultra suave guy with a comeback, retort, and witty banter for any situation which is what the fear of her getting "Bored" of me comes from.

[–]arbyq500011 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

but I know I'll never be that ultra suave guy with a comeback, retort, and witty banter for any situation which is what the fear of her getting "Bored" of me comes from.

no, this is incorrect. if you open yourself up and you train, as IM said, you will develop skills. forget perfection; get better.

[–]LordXerces4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

On mobile, but Google: How to hold conversation like a man by Nick Sparks.

[–]Shire_Leaf2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I will also suggest joining an Improv group or class. Check your area or local community college. Improv is an excellent tool to help you think and react on the fly.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's posts like this that make TRP harder for me to swallow back when I joined ... and I'm damn thankful for it. Sadly, I came to this sub initially to find ways to get myself laid as I have had a bit of dry spell going for some time now. I was angered at many of the things I found out when I came here until I took a step back to examine why I was becoming angry with some objectivity: I was mad at reality. The reality, of course, was the low SMV I felt I had. At that point, I was still regurgitating the Blue Pill before I took my RP vaccine.

So this sub turned me around quite a bit; I read more and, as I did, the more I come to terms with the fact that I'm not ready to have women come into my life without working on me. It was hard for me to accept but I need to work on the man I want to be before I get start getting laid. But the wonderful thing is my life significantly improved since I started being more focused on being a man.

Being a man. Before I came here, I thought I was manly enough. I was big and muscled, ambitious, somewhat promiscuous (before the dry spell) and very assertive. Thing is, I was wrong. I was wrong because I clung to the concept of "enough". Swallowing the TRP, from my understanding, is you should never be satisfied being "enough" or doing "enough"; there is perpetually more room for improvement and more still with every given challenge and even a little more still at every fucking milestone.

I realize getting laid is a lot of fun and I will keep trying to put myself out there. However, building on a good chassis of a man will result in an even better man tomorrow. I'm content with using potential to make myself stronger, wiser, smarter and my prospects more lucrative. Sex ... well, I'm going to have to wait on that.

Saved and upvoted. Things like this need to be said more often on this sub.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

is you should never be satisfied being "enough" or doing "enough"

Amen, complacency kills comfortably.

[–]Blood_Vaults2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Complacency kills. Period.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sticky this for a month imo.

[–]1independentmale5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

This post is spot on. Outstanding advice. I'd like to add:

Put down the goddamn video games and shut off the tv. You're not going to do yourself a damn bit of good if you sit on your fat ass and play WoW when you're supposed to be working on yourself and getting your life in order. Go cold turkey if you can. If not, allot yourself a specific amount of time per day and stick to it.

Bored and don't know what else to do with your free time?

Improve your job. If you like it, go work your ass off and make yourself valuable to your bosses. Get raises and promotions. If you don't like it or don't see it going anywhere, polish up your resume, take some classes, apply for other jobs, learn some new skills, move up in the world.

Build a second income stream. I spent years buying stuff off eBay and craigslist to resell for a profit. Any time I saw a deal on something I knew a little about, I bought it as cheap as I could get it and resold it. Are you good with cars? Pick up one that doesn't run, fix it and flip it for cash. Good with computers? Place an ad on Craigslist and help people fix theirs for quick cash. Mow lawns or do odd jobs. This will eat up time and make you money. The key to being successful: Do what you say you're going to do. This makes you trustworthy, which makes you valuable.

Work out. A good exercise routine can easily eat up an hour.

Find some hobbies, something you enjoy doing and that you're passionate about. Then you'll have something interesting to discuss with others.

Learn a new skill. Learn to play a musical instrument, fly a plane, fix shit, etc. I have a lot of handyman skills because I was too broke in my twenties to pay for plumbers and painters and electricians and such. So when I wanted to fix or improve something on my house, I got online and talked to people and learned and did it myself.

If you have the time and are willing to make a long term commitment, get a dog. Sign up for classes and learn how to train it. Play with it every single day. Teach it to be a bad ass companion, protector, etc.

[–]TytalusWarden2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

For three of my friends WoW isn't the sole reason they don't improve themselves, but it certainly enables their anti-social tendencies. It's what they do in WoW that's the catalyst... WoW itself isn't the problem, but they insist they "have to be the best". They all joined a guild that requires them to be on 4-5 nights each week for 3-4 hours each night. With that much effort being expended in WoW there's no way they can get a workout in.

I occasionally nudge them to come to the gym with me or to go play some pool, but for the most part they're set in their ways and insist that playing WoW is fun for them. I always tell them, "Playing WoW is fun, but your crappy life will always be there when you're done with the leveling treadmill and the gear grind."

-WoW-free for 18 months and counting!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've said this in a previous thread, but I think it still applies; Couldn't have said it better myself. I think there is a certain subset of people that go into game without having baseline things down and handled. (Deep seated inner game issues, poor overall social skills, few productive passions & hobbies besides women.) A lot of things can be gained from getting the above handled before going into game and faking high value behaviors.

All rejection is feedback and there is nothing wrong with taking the L (as Patrice O'Neal says) and learning from it. A lot of awkward people can stand to get their other shit together and just go into game expecting nothing and enjoying the ride, not unlike first starting with weight lifting.

Be content with being the backup QB and rookie for a short while and hold the clipboard. Be content with making progress and growing into your own skin.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Man I've spent years in spectator and chode/ fantasy mode.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Self-discipline and motivation, get those on lockdown and you're golden.

[–]TaylorWolf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That was me too a few years back. Martial arts like submission grappling really helped me though. It's as fun as any video game and you shredded in the process, doesn't even feel like effort it's so fun. I'd recommend it to anyone.

[–]ERP_BLARP3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

TRP got me off my arse drinking a six pack a day and back to the gym.

Luckily I've been very fit before so I'm not starting from zero, but fuck it feels good to lift things again.

I'm giving myself the 6-12 months to sort my shit out and get that SMV then I'm gonna hit the circuit and see how we go.

[–]x7CR7x2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I cocoon after every breakup that I didn't initiate. They always come back after they see changes. The current one ain't as easy because now that I'm 25, money finally plays a role.

[–]cryptica2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Definately a "best of" reddit nomination.

[–]4J5533T6SZ92 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

fuck bitches, get $mv

[–]mycroftdoyle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

thread winner

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Hm. I did some of my most prolific man-whoring when I was dirt poor. I mean living in crack-town with no electricity. To be fair, I was in my twenties and running in a circle of super cool musicians, but still.....

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy

I was in my twenties and running in a circle of super cool musicians

Social proof isn't something most "dirt poor" guys have.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

My point is that attitude goes a long way and (in my humble opinion) is more important than status or shiny things. Of course it helps if you're attractive...

I was working fast food. I was so broke I couldn't afford the coin laundry so I would wash my work uniform (while wearing it) in the shower and dry it walking to work. Most of my meals were 'five finger discounts' from work. I, and my friends/room mates, gave zero fucks and enjoyed life as much as we could. As a result I got laid by candle light A LOT.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

I, and my friends/room mates, gave zero fucks and enjoyed life as much as we could.

Most people who can't even afford to wash their own shit don't even have friends, nobody wants to know them. This is what I'm saying, the only reason you got any was because you had social proof despite the fact your value was so low at that moment in time. One can assume you weren't fat or half bad looking if you were living on stolen burgers in a solitary room and still getting laid.

I don't know you, maybe you have a very likeable personality/good sense of humour or whatever and people are drawn to you, some people have that "gift" and have no problem getting people to like them and chicks to fuck them, that is what it is, but it isn't how it goes for most guys. Say you do have those traits in your personality, most guys in your situation wouldn't have those traits, they'd need to build themselves to get those traits and then they'd get a circle of friends later on, you see where I'm coming from?

I'd say you're an exception, not an example.

PS: positive attitude is always a helpful attribute.

[–]SilviOnPC2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Post of the fucking year

Good job OP

[–]RPthrowaway1231 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy

This is probably the hardest thing for me. I think I'm in pretty good shape as a recently retired athlete who works out 5 times a week, and I like to think I'm pretty intelligent too.

But I'm very unpopular around here. I've only had one gf in college and she was nuts. I want to just get up, move up, and find new women, but I'm just very unpopular and most girls seem to be able to sense that. I know I have to do stuff for me, but I can't shake the unpopularity and the worrying what other people think on most days. It's lonely.

And advice on how to get through this?

[–]Science_isthenewcool3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Hey man, make some new friends/associates by doing or trying something new. Just being a little bit more social than you normally would will help. Baby steps. You have to step outside your comfort zone to realize it's really not that bad. Take up a new hobby or some shit, anything social.

IMPORTANT: Try and smile/say "hi" to someone that serves you coffee or lunch or whatever. If they reciprocate, introduce yourself at the end of the conversation and REMEMBER THEIR NAME! Bam, next time you go in, use their name: "Hi cool coffee guy/girl", people appreciate that shit. The chances to interact with people are numerous and constant. Once you get better at making friends in general, speaking with girls/women becomes a hell of a lot easier.

I do it everywhere, I make friends with bartenders/coffee guys/girls etc. at every opportunity. It totally makes their fucking day, helps you with small talk, and occasionally you get preferred treatment, freebies etc. Some people may also class it as "social proof". Which is actually pretty true, because it impresses the fuck out of random chicks when everyone knows your name.

Once you have been doing this for a few(3-6) months, it becomes your new MO. Next thing you know, you are one cool, charming motherfucker.

Edit: at some point in the last 5-10 years, people just seem to sense that I'm a friendly/chilled kind of guy and start coming up to me in random places and chat. I have no idea how this works but I swear to god it's hilarious could be because I'm an eye contact kind of guy, i.e I don't look away if someone is looking at me, I just look right back. That's one theory anyway, also I am often slightly smiling, because life and people are amusing, let's be honest. When people see you smile, they just start smiling too, it's infectious so that could also be a reason. Just smile, some eye contact and be relaxed - magic.

[–]1independentmale2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is so true. Talk to people just for the sake of talking to them, with no ulterior motive (sex, dates, etc). Consider it practicing, because that's exactly what it is.

I talk to everyone. Fat girls, ugly girls, old people, dudes, you name it. I'm that fucker in line with you at the grocery store striking up a conversation about whatever is on my mind. I try to make friends everywhere I go. Staff at many locations now address me by my first name when I walk in. One restaurant even knows my voice on the phone, I simply have to request a table and the girl says, "Okay, 1IM. I'll have that ready for you in 15 minutes!"

I didn't do anything special to get here. Just went about my daily life. Eventually you go to the same places often enough and if you're friendly and cool and talk to people, they'll start to remember you.

Sometimes people won't want to talk, or you'll put your foot in your mouth and look awkward, etc. No worries, just brush it off and try again with someone else.

Do this long enough and picking up women becomes easy. You'll talk to them like you do with everyone else and the next thing you know, you'll have a date.

[–]RPthrowaway1231 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is awesome advice, thanks! I think the reason I come off that way is that I'm good at saying hi to people and good with friends I've had a long time but really awkward at all the social stages in-between. So basically, I just need to take the issue head on by talking to lots of people and practicing? That will be much easier once I'm out of school in a few months...I fell for the stupid small school bs and I'm stuck in a small town with only 1,500 other students so everyone knows everything about everyone.

Great advice about the coffee/server types though that's a great place for me to try and start this!

[–][deleted] 2 points2 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]RPthrowaway1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Personally, I think its because I'm good at saying hi to people and good with friends I've known for a long time, but awkward at the social stages in-between. I can be loud sometimes and my sense of humor is very dry and can go over people's heads. But I might be judging myself too harshly, so I don't really know. People just...don't like me that much, it seems.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Not giving a fuck. The fact that you state you're hung up on being perceived as 'unpopular' means you're too concerned about what people think of you.

By the sounds of it, you're physically fit but lack actual friends for whatever reason. There's your point of self-improvement to work on: social proof.

[–]RPthrowaway1230 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Do you have any tips for working on social proof? It will be hard for me to change anything in my last 2 months of college, especially at my tiny school, but I plan on getting a job and moving to the city so I'll basically have a clean slate soon.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Make friends. Be socially available while holding frame. Body language control for yourself is a must. If women can sense it, then you're giving off a vibe due to the way you present yourself.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]mysterioussydney1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I've known many people full of talent who lack the proclivity to apply themselves. You can be a brain box but if you don't feel motivated or see a point in anything then you'll just fulfill your immediate needs and end up a failure rather than build yourself into a success.

Struggling with this right now.

After I graduated from college, got a good job, and started losing weight passively by doing keto (296 to 184 lbs. at 6'3), I started to smoke a lot of weed.

I used to smoke unfailingly every day. I'm 2 days in without any weed. Should I expect my motivation to magically return instantaneously, gradually, or is this something that I have to consciously be aware of and improve on?

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

is this something that I have to consciously be aware of and improve on?

People with low motivation have to pretty much bully/inspire themselves into taking action. Getting angry and/or inspired will get you to do shit. Otherwise you'll just sit around. I speak from experience. Aggressive music helps.

[–]TytalusWarden1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have an eating issue. I'm on keto right now and over the past several years I've lost anywhere from 70-110 pounds (depends on which month we're looking at, I've yo-yo'd a lot.) What has me motivated to lose right now (I'm 80 down right now from my high of 341) is recognizing my learned behaviors and consciously breaking out of them.

Consider this scenario: You have a group activity you partake in once a week on a particular day of the week. It could be playing pool on Monday evenings, or going to see a movie every Friday, or hanging out a the bar every Tuesday evening, or watching a common-interest TV show on Sunday evening. Do you notice any rituals you follow that are closely associated with that activity?

The last paragraph is the major issue I had when breaking out of my eating habits. Years ago my days looked like this:

  • 8AM-6PM - work (eat a large lunch, typically 1300+ calories from McD's)
  • 6PM-10PM - WoW (while eating dinner and snacking)
  • 10PM-pass out in recliner - watch TV (or DVR) (while snacking on ice cream or cookie dough for dessert)

When I started my diet I noticed that I'd have strong urges to follow this pattern, so I had to change the pattern so I could have the result I desired.

Now, all of this rolls back to you--do you have a particular group of friends you smoke with? If so, do these friends frequently smoke in your presence? You only have two options if this is the case:

  • Ditch the friends and meet new friends whose goals align with your own; or
  • Convince your friends not to smoke while around you, or at a minimum don't offer it to you

Your learned behavior (in my theoretical example above) is "when with friends, smoke", so you need to break that behavior. It's more than just saying, "I won't smoke" because smoking wasn't just a "thing" you did... you "smoked while {insert item here}", so if you continue to do {insert item here} you will unconsciously want to smoke.

Do you have a frequent activity that you associate with smoking? If so then when you perform that activity you're going to feel a strong draw to smoke while performing the activity. Be aware of this and actively fight the resulting urge--it'll likely be strong!

Sorry if it's so long-winded, but I've been helping both myself and friends with these types of issues for the last 2 years. I see people who hit a catalyzing event in their lives (mom finds out she has cancer, brother/sister dies to drugs/disease, friend ODs on heroin, whatever) and they think, "This one catalyzing event can easily motivate me to change my life!" What's the first thing they do after that? They go do the same fucking thing they do every day with zero life changes! If your buddy OD'd on heroin and you don't want to do heroin anymore you can't hang out with your heroin-loving buddies and shoot hoops with your dealer anymore!

Okay, done harping on this for now. Hope the point sticks even if it isn't intuitive to pick up at first.

TL;DR: Change your lifestyle to reflect your change in attitude, otherwise you're likely to fail due to the continued familiar internal and external influences on your life.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

After doing keto the discipline just became a part of me because I internalized how I will feel both as a consequence of what I ate and how I perceived my appearance. I crawled back up to 195 over the last few weeks as of Sunday. Intermittent fasting is like second nature to me today whereas it would sound crazy and impossible if I was back in 2011. I'm already back down to 190.

I'm 3 days in w/o weed and I'm already feeling like I have more energy at work and my sense of wit is starting to return.

One thing I love about this sub using your comment as an example is it clearly underscores the importance of isolating people that encourage unhealthy behavior. You hit the nail on the head with that one. Thank you for taking the time to respond.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Rock solid post.

While doing all this you want to listen to this on repeat 24/7: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=brQ80gIOY9Q&list=RDbrQ80gIOY9Q

[–]0ringer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

/r/nonzeroday it's to help people figure out how to do those 2 things that help you become a better person

[–]dc2040 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy

I've been lurking on this sub a year have been in a real depressive slump. You've described my situation and experience down to a tee. I'm bookmarking this.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I get my moments of clarity but still even with my faculties of reason I suffer from all the fallacies that any human does on occasion, I'm not perfect. I'm a guy, not a god.

Shit, sometimes when I lose my way I catch myself reading my own crap to remind myself to keep focused. It's like reaching back into a solid frame that you've lost from before to restabilise your current frame. Life gets to us, sometimes while we're in the process of trying to make it, we lose frame because adversity knocks us down whilst we're processing it, analysing it and trying to learn from it. People who've already "made it" are less likely to lose frame unless they get too comfortable, that's their only danger - not staying sharp. If you "make it" and keep momentum, you're golden. You always need momentum, inertia isn't enough.

None of us are perfect, most of us preaching this shit talk from experience, it's the voice of mistake and regret manifesting as a reason to form an actionable plan for change. The difference between a guy who can help you from his experiences and a guy who can't is a simple problem - articulacy. Many guys are just plain BAD at explaining their problems, how they deal with them, how they overcome them. They "feel their problems" but they can't say it in words. So many times I've been told "you've said what I've been thinking but didn't know how to put into words" it's a common thread I've begun to notice among men, and it's this inability to communicate and pass knowledge on, especially with fathers, that sons suffer from. Many men here no doubt suffer from having poor quality dads or no dad at all and you know what? We have to suck that up, we can't change that. No doubt some of the men here are those shitty beta fathers that regret being such huge ass pussies, it is what it is - we're all here to be better.

That's what we're all about here, change. Changing ourselves to be better men. Making men out of boys, and stronger men out of weak men.

Men don't become great without adversity, embrace it or suffer the comfortable mediocrity of complacency.

Listen to angry music, shit is a great emotive motivator, shit reaches your essence on a level words alone rarely will. Gym playlist or not.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is great advice.

After my current project is over, I'm signing up to a new gym. I don't really care about my SMV any more, I just miss being in good shape when I used to work out and eat well, and trying to be the best person I can be.

[–]Kiddmorbidd1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sorry guys what's smv

[–]iamkarnath1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Practicing game when you're dirt poor, suffering from low self-esteem/depression/lack of confidence, don't have enough food in the fridge or whatever is retarded, you're placing a "less immediate need" higher in priority than the shit that matters.

Spot on advice! I'm RP, after walking away from a 17-year marriage. Time to focus on me while I rebuild my life.

[–]SWALLOWTHISPILLBITCH1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Male RN here, one of the tools to teach students the proper order to heal someone who has had some major health issue is Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

The gist is that a person has to have the very basic things to support life first, this supports the next stage and so on, for example one needs air, water and food before having shelter and employment, it doesn't work in reverse. Male to female relationships can begin COMFORTABLY in the third stage.

Ask yourself if you have satisfied your physiological and safety needs; the first two levels of Maslow's hierarchy. If not, improve your lot in life, if so, let the games begin.

[–]autowikibot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maslow's hierarchy of needs:

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a theory in psychology proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper "A Theory of Human Motivation" in Psychological Review. Maslow subsequently extended the idea to include his observations of humans' innate curiosity. His theories parallel many other theories of human developmental psychology, some of which focus on describing the stages of growth in humans. Maslow used the terms Physiological, Safety, Belongingness and Love, Esteem, Self-Actualization and Self-Transcendence needs to describe the pattern that human motivations generally move through.

Image from article i

Interesting: Abraham Maslow | Self-actualization | Self-esteem

Parent commenter can toggle NSFW or delete. Will also delete on comment score of -1 or less. | FAQs | Mods | Magic Words

[–]iwannagethugeee1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

One of the best posts I've had the pleasure of reading this year - well done.

MGTOW is often overlooked in this sub because getting women seems to go hand-in-hand with RP. However, it does offer benefits, like you listed. Instead of spending time impressing others and making them like you, spend that time making yourself more impressive and likable. Raising SMV takes time, and if you're like me, you aren't very patient. But you need to know that anything worth attaining takes time and sacrifice. Becoming the man you want to be is worth all the blood, sweat and tears you have.

[–]Macky_Hauser1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you for this post! It made so much sense. You hit the nail on the head with everything you wrote. I am going to put this to use in my own life.

[–]Wesley20160 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Finally a post that applies to me, a broke 19 year old college student.

[–]the99percent10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good advice, as always from you OP.

Sounds like its coming from the bottom of the heart too. I've been through similar shit and have hit rock bottom in my early twenties. Things have improved since, especially when you get a stable income which you can build upon and make more money.

Life sucks for 99% of young males. Just remember to slug at it and try something that improves you bit by bit everyday. Go easy on yourself, life is a marathon and thing will always improve itself as you go along.

It takes a lot of resilience in a man to hit rock bottom and still find the strength to carry on. that alone is a character trait of an attractive man.

[–]szip880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Epic, I agree. Took me 2 years of working on myself and I can proudly say I see ppl turn heads at the gym and where I go....can't wait til summer to show what's under the hoodie ;)

[–]charlie_bodango0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Caveat to that, you don't even need a weight set. Do bodyweight training/ running/ yoga. I lift regularly, but these things still kick my ass, and if I couldn't afford to lift or didn't have time I'd choose the more practical strength and endurance of bodyweight any day of the week.

[–]W-Z-R0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I did this

I used to be some really quiet nerdy kid who went on 4chan looking for porn, then I saw about this thing called cocoon mode

and just cut social contact (which was easy because I'm naturally pretty shy) spending my time lifting, studying and finding ways to make money, I had been doing this for a while before finding this subreddit, but I still found this helps not get sucked into the bullshit women tell me so I don't just become some girl's paycheck and caregiver

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is particular important in your finances. There are far too many people who graduate from college with large debt and only an average paying job. Basically, they are nobody on the financial scale, they are worst than some people who didn't even go to college due to the debt. However, they insist on getting a nice apartment in the city and use debt to create a certain image. They think, how else am I going to attract women?

This is a type of "beta bucks". Worse yet, the guy doesn't even have the bucks today, it's his future bucks that is being spent, and his actions ensure that he will be poor forever. If you are graduating college at 22 years old and you have a ton of debt, and you are not making big money, there is no shame in having a lower standard of living or even living with your parents for a year or two to get your finances in order. Plenty of time to chase tail later. It's easy to get rich, it is hard to get rich in a manner that impresses your peers. By your mid 20s, you can be debt free and have investments piling up while most of your age group are still debt slaves. It's hard to be alpha when your entire life would crumble if the next paycheck doesn't come.

[–]wishIcared0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I switch between champion mode and chode mode. I'm happiest in champion mode, I get shit done and feel ontop of my shit.

I tend to burnout and spend a month or two in chode mode before switching again. Not sure how to beat this other than keep trying.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

just remember to come back every 2 years you age heightens the lowest age of girls you can hook up with normally by 1 year or so.

its better being a young rake and an old monk than a young monk and an old rake.

[–]TheLolomancer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not exactly on the low end but this was an epic read regardless. You, my friend, know how to give a rock solid pep-talk.

[–]megaphones0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This article, I needed this today. Thank you for writing this amazing entry for all of us to read and digest.

[–]TRPublius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

AKA "Cocoon mode". One of the best ways to concentrate on self-improvement.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Needed this.

[–]Relaxation10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good post, getting financials in order and lifting is important. It isn't mandatory though to get women. As long as you have some sort of income and a roof over your head, you can get chicks. There are some guys that are basically poor that get hot women. Not recommending it, but to say you need to not be a loser living in moms basement to get women is false. Loser + game + alpha = women for some guys.

[–]Unknowndistress0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I've been a lurker on here for a while, and I still don't know what SMV is. Can some explain?

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

SMV = sexual/social market value.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Monk mode

[–]JGH87630 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Problem is, you need sex in order to motivate you to keep going; to keep living; to keep you from being bitter and stressed, which prevents you from getting anything done; to keep you from killing yourself. You can't get shit done without proper dopamine regulation, and you need sex for proper dopamine regulation. It's a catch 22. Sexual satisfaction is at the bottom of the hierarchy of needs, self-actualization is at the top.

If guys in their mid-to-late twenties who haven't gotten laid much, and who have a real sense of the kind of sex lives other people are having, a real sense of perspective, try to follow the advice you gave, they'd just be spinning their wheels for a LONG time, if not forever, and they'd probably just give up after a while. Regular sexual interaction is healthy and necessary. Not having regular sexual interaction is very unhealthy and damaging and inhibits a person's development drastically and perhaps permanently.

You need balance - raise your SMV, and try to apply yourself with girls as much as you can. Both are necessary. It's a hard line to walk, but the avenue you suggest is much harder, and I don't think it's an effective route.

[–]zephyrprime0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree that you need to focus on yourself and improve yourself if you are having problems in these basic areas. However, just ignoring everyone will cause your social skills to deteriorate so I advise against doing that.

[–]cloudstryfe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]marak940 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's exactly what I needed to hear. I just discovered TRP and wanted to jump right in, but your right. It never dawned on me till I read this that I have to be a better me if I want to up my SMV. Thanks for this.

[–]watersign-5 points-4 points  (8 children) | Copy

Good advice. This is ESPECIALLY important now that we live in Obamastan. It's more difficult and more important than ever to get a career or a skill because things in the USA are not going good, economically.

[–]modernneo1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Too bad men can't just marry rich. Although I prefer earning my own money and being independent.

[–]watersign1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

They certainly can. John Mcain and John Kerry come to mind..

[–]garlicextract2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

In one of the sidebar posts, it says you need to be superior to the girl (if you don't want her cheating) in two of the following three areas: looks, money, status.

I'm sure McCain was a decently handsome young fella, but lets not forget the kicker: he was a god damn war hero. We're talking the alphaest of alpha status.

If you want to marry rich when you aren't, your options are something like professional athlete, war hero, rockstar. Not exactly a realistic scenario for most.

edit: I don't know how Kerry pulled it off. The point remains, marrying rich isn't an option for the vast majority of men.

[–][deleted] 3 points3 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]modernneo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

[–]modernneo0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's very true. But those are more of exceptions than rules.

[–]123draw2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lol guess you don't own much stock, things have been feeling real good for the past 5 years or so.

[–]watersign-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

yea thanks to ponzi scheme paper money printed by the FED. shits gonna end reall fiuckin soon

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I say the opposite. In social situations keep applying game over and over. Once in a while, you'll succeed and that keeps you focused. Otherwise, gyms and running become excuses to hide around.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Go out once a week. 6/7th's of the time improvement, 1/7th of the time practicing your improvement. Balance is key.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Or they could just pay the hoes mang. They're not all that expensive. I know dudes who banged like 50 hoes, ya feel me?

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (4 children) | Copy

I recommend joining the military - it'll increase your status automatically, get you fit, and make you redpill(though less so, and becoming less so).

[–]Solonzzo7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Military men usually have a very masculine frame, but they are the most betrayed of all. Really women that goes after military men has this urge to ride the whole base when her guy is deployed else where.

[–]Blood_Vaults8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most betrayed is right.

I joined the infantry. Did my tours. Went to war. Yadda Yadda Yadda.

Now I have trouble sleeping at night. My body creaks and cracks like an old man's. I have a very low tolerance for error and stupidity. I am deeply misanthropic. I'm aggressive. Hardly care about anything. Have trouble empathizing with people. It's hard to care about their trivial first world problems once you've worried about enemy ambushes. Indirect Fire. IEDs. Your Helo crashing. Your plane crashing. Dysentery.

Honestly, I just want to watch the world burn. Starting with the wealthy elite that inspire these wars that grind up the souls of young men with no where to go or impressionable and optimistic enough to drink the patriot kool-aid.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

I see your point. I have philosophical objections, mainly, I wouldn't want to kill for people who are just using my life as fodder to make a profit, military to defend from an invasion? Sure. But not this imperialist natural resource stealing bullshit. I'm not anti-military, but for named philosophical reasoning, it just isn't for me. I can definitely see the benefits of joining up and if you have little to lose to begin with and are willing to risk your life for the opportunity to become stronger, than by all means, go ahead. I think at least in the UK, the age cap for joining is 24 and you need a certain level of fitness to begin with. People with things like diabetes or eczema can't join and neither can guys who are beta/omega in their 30's or 40's so it's not for everyone but definitely an option for younger guys with little to lose and everything to gain.

[–]ERP_BLARP0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've been in the military and it does make you fit as fuck. But you're so busy and often so tied up and so far away from civilization it's not worth it in terms of RP.

In military towns, everyone else is either a) in the military or b) a civilian surrounded by people in the military. So your SMV doesn't increase because everyone is thin and fit and aggressive, and all the women are surrounded by these types.

When you head back to your hometown and meet up with your old friends, that is the shock, everyone is fat, everyone is lazy, and nobody is organised, but it only lasts a couple of weeks before you have to fly back to the isolated grindstone that is military life.

I guess it depends on what country you're in and where you get posted. I laugh when I see fat American GIs at checkpoints. Obviously not in an infantry corps.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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