Thinking about letting plate go to be happy

RandomWordsssss · 2019-01-09T00:55:37+00:00

This is a really awesome selfless thing for you to do, and it goes beyond trp.

You can still be a trp dude and be a good person. Loving somebody for such a long time and wanting more and then never giving it can suck really bad and destroy a person over time.

Props to you bro

fromdario · 2019-01-09T04:36:41+00:00

This was me in a nutshell.

I was fortunate or smart enough to grab great plates that just were wonderful women.

I would hear men complaining about “AWALT. all women this or that“ and go “well not me, not the women I select”.

TBH, I was right. I found the unicorn a number of times. Ones that would be right to be the mother of my children, but tiny little faults, genetic or otherwise prevented me from LTRing them.

My point being I have been there. Good for you for realizing you want something else and being man enough to admit it and want the best for her as well.

If you actually love/like her then you owe it to her to push her life in the direction she wants, since you’re not going to be part of that life.

If you are a man, a man who strives to bring truth to themselves and the world, you will be honest with her regardless of the consequences because that’s the right choice.

Whatever happens with her you will have a clear conscious.

A lot of guys talk about gaming girls, this and that.

That’s pussy shit, be a fucking man and talk to women honestly.

Be upfront, tell them exactly what you want. The only reason you don’t is because you aren’t a quality enough man and they wouldn’t put up with that shit from you.

Years ago when I didn’t understand this shit, I would play the games to get women and it would work but then I would find myself in difficult relationship issues.

When I started to be completely honest and transparent with women is when my whole game changed. I got a lot more respect and much less hassle, because at every point of our interaction I was myself.

Of course to get to this stage of negotiation I needed a high smv, which I have worked hard to achieve and perhaps it’s an idea I’m repeating but if you have a good product, you can set the price. I have found it true and it had made my dealings with women much more effortless.

Be a good peson and treat a good women with enough respect to point her in the right direction if that isn’t you.

Be well and good luck.

RemyBucksington · 2019-01-09T03:13:41+00:00

Take my upvote for remembering that red-pilled men are still capable of being good men.

RolandTheDickslinger · 2019-01-09T10:59:15+00:00

Your post assumes that “commitment” is a magical thing that will transform her life in a positive way. If that was the case though, why would she have spent 16 months fucking your ass? Either (a) she’s stupid, or (b) she actually enjoys being part of your life even without commitment.

If you unilaterally decide that splitting is better for her, chances are you’ll be making a big mistake. I can assure you: if she had found a better guy for her, she’d have branch swinged by now.

Your decisions should be informed by, but never driven by other people’s desires. If you don’t enjoy seeing her anymore and want a fresh plate, ditch her. But do it for your own sake.

Andorli · 2019-01-09T06:08:37+00:00

Dudeeeee...this post could not come in a better time. I recently did something similar. I had to let LTR go because I understood that it wasn't leading anywhere and I could not guarantee meeting her expectations, although I have very strong feelings towards her. Just be a decent human being and do whats right, if you know your goals and expectations are different, just let her go and don't waste her life.

Fuck anybody here who says you should manipulate and keep conversations vague so you get your dick wet. Just be a decent human being, acknowledge that you both want different things and don't lead her on. We demonize women who do it to men yet a lot of people on this sub think it is OK for a guy to do the same.

Don't be one of those people.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-01-09T03:44:29+00:00

This is great. Having some morals, and integrity, makes us further feel like a prize, and builds self esteem.

We all have a core, where our inherent values are. If we work against them for too long, our self esteem dies.

Spinning plates and all is great. We are normally giving women what they subconsciously want. But getting to.this stage is different.

This is why we say abundance mentality. There are plenty of.other girls to game. You've had your fun, had your needs met. What, are going to sting hem along for 10 years? That's scarcity, when you have to start REALLY fucking people over.

Let her fall, or tell her how it is, and that she is free to leave.

I think it's a great idea. Plenty of abundance out there.

bigflame123 · 2019-01-09T01:43:03+00:00

Go with your gut feeling but why not try a relationship if she doesn’t have any or many red flags?

It’s up to you but do what feels right, remember AWALT but you can still take a shot at a relationship if she seems worth it

[deleted] · 2019-01-09T04:49:37+00:00

I'm going to disagree with everyone else on this post. This has nothing to do with integrity, or being a good man, or values. This has to do with your guilt and your ability to deal with it.

Congratulations, you've reached that point in life very few men get to be at and most red pill men want to be at. You've succesfully spun a plate for 16 months. This is very rare and long time to spin a plate.

What you're describing, however, seems to be more in the wheelhouse of a...OLTR? MLTR? I thing the former, although if someone could clarify that better that'd be great. A place where you're spinning plates and not leading them on, and one of the plates lets you know she's there to be your LTR whenever you want, in whatever situation you want, and voluntarily gives you exclusivity without expecting it in return. That's the dream.

I've been where you've been at, though obviously not for 16 months, which is a long time. Usually the girl gets the hint or these things fizzle out. Plates are meant to be broken. I get the guilt that you're speaking of. At this point you have a decision to make.

Firstly, her desire for a relationship is not your problem. You may experience this atleast a few more times as you spin plates for longer and longer, the same situation playing itself out over and over again. She will want a relationship, and try to nag or force you into it, and even if she doesn't do that, she'll be constantly making herself available, dropping hints etc. This is not your problem. Just like your happiness is your responsibility, her happiness is hers. Women need men for their emotional stability, but if she doesn't feel happy, she'll have to make that choice whether to continue waiting for you to commit or move on. What you're describing is also, like, a very common place scenario, I'd be very surprised if you haven't come across it in media, or on here, or your friend's stories. About the girl waiting and waiting for the alpha to commit, to keep hoping, but never to get it. Women do it to men. Men do it to women. It'll keep happening, its commonplace, and its not that big a deal.

Secondly, as stated above, your happiness is your problem, you're going to experience this again and this happens fairly frequently. Your problem is your feeling of guilt, not your desire for a relationship. You're just going to have man up and bite the bullet and deal with your emotions. Why do you feel guilty when you have no reason to? You haven't been leading her on, you've made yourself very clear. You can't control her emotions. You know what you want in life. Your guilt is understandable but unjustified. Get rid of it. This is not a conscience problem of values, this is a problem of your bp self feeling that he needs to justify his emotions and life decisions by the expectation of others as opposed to your own set of thoughts, goals and valules. As long as you remain a polite, overall good person to this person, you have no reason to feel guilty and should learn now, at this very crucial stage, to deal with that. People often have emotions and expectations related to you, and no matter how long you know them or closely you may feel linked to them, you can take it into consideration but not let that direct your life. You've already made clear in the comments that you're not looking for a relationship rn. You're doing that for you, and that's ok, and that doesn't need to change because of her feelings.

Thirdly, while you may not want a relationship, as others have pointed out, she seems to be a quality gal. Remember, women express their love for you through acts of service, and if she's serving you well and in other ways is good, you need to reward her for it. Don't make her an LTR, but move her up the ladder of plates, while making clear you'll never be exclusive. Women would rather share a high quality man than be with a low quality one. This shit happens all the time. It just means you're doing well. Give her more of your time and trust, make her feel great, more than a plate, but follow standard rules on engagement so as to not make her complacement. You're in the sweet spot. Don't mess it up for yourself. I have, and I learned from it, and now I do it less, and know the problem is your thought process, not her.

So keep spinning her or break her, but know that that's her problem, and that your guilt is your own, and that, well, you're not confornting and dealing with your emotion of guilt is the real problem. Move her up the ladder. If she's been as good as you say she has, she deserves it. Use her as a model for your plates. They'll learn quickly.

richarddbuckley4 · 2019-01-09T10:29:32+00:00

If she’s so good then why don’t you LTR her? The way you’re describing her hints that you have some sort of feeling towards her. Also ask yourself whether you will always be satisfied spinning plates, you might regret letting her go one day.

TheLegionnaire00 · 2019-01-09T14:38:27+00:00

I'm doing some popcorn until /u/GayLubeOil reply to this.

Tiway22 · 2019-01-09T02:22:05+00:00

Why don’t you try making her your main gf and have a one sided open relationship?

[deleted] · 2019-01-09T16:57:31+00:00

I’ve been spinning a plate for a year. I would describe her as everything you mentioned. Until I went threw her phone. That proved me wrong.

Metalgear222 · 2019-01-09T14:46:11+00:00

Wouldn’t recommend crashing a good plate like that on your own, I would typically let them crash and let the plate-relationship run its course. I’ve been with one of my mine for 2 years now, she’s came a long way cause im grooming her for an LTR, but she will never be good enough (too many red flags). im still leaving her better than I found her. just hasn’t crashed yet.

UEMcGill · 2019-01-09T15:43:43+00:00

Her feelings are hers to deal with. Why are you judging your own actions based on her feelings?

Where's the incongruity here? She knows the deal? You know the deal?

Why are you so pretentious you feel you need to save her and spare her?

Jeese there's some blue pill faggotry getting up voted in this post.

yumyumgivemesome · 2019-01-09T13:22:18+00:00

I've let a plate go for very similar reasons. We dated for almost a year, and it ended with her extremely sad about my unwillingness to commit. We started up again a year later, and her friends mentioned that she hadn't really dated anyone that whole time. Again we dated for about 8 months, and I realized we were going down the same path as before. Basically, she knew I didn't want to commit, but I knew her so well sexually that any other guy she tried to date wouldn't have had a fair chance. I felt very guilty. Recognizing that she would just sort of string herself along with me, I let our dates dissipate little by little. This way she got the point and was able to save face as not being dumped but instead us growing apart.

It's been a good 8 months now, and I've heard that she's been dating at least one guy. There have been moments where I crave her. However, knowing that the craving is just a fleeting sexual urge, I refrain from hitting her up. I genuinely hope she finds someone great who will commit.

pickyourselfupman · 2019-01-09T16:33:10+00:00

Be honest, upfront and drop her man, IMO.

look_up_there · 2019-01-09T01:05:20+00:00

Your just overthinking it. Be a man, trust your gut and do what you feel is right. And then never look back. Simple as that

Mangasbzo7 · 2019-01-09T00:40:44+00:00

If you have been upfront with her and told her you not interested in relationship then what is there to feel remotely any guilt about?

If she really wants a relationship eventually she will realize pushing you for one is going nowhere and she will go off and find one. Remember Hypergamy never sleeps! Just spin her while you can, and set up another plate to replace her when she drops.

amwfhunter · 2019-01-09T06:56:06+00:00

I had a plate like that a long time ago. Cute 20 some year old latina girl. Amazing body. Really tight and small girl. She was crazy in bed and loved sex. She was really into me. I got scared I knocked her up because at the time I had a wife and girlfriend. I told her straight up I wont ever be her boyfriend and she has to get in line (she worked so hard to compete).
Over time I was single with just the girlfriend (who also knew about the wife), no wife, and this plate among others. In the end I told her I'll never be her boyfriend or husband.

She was only 22 or so by the time I decided to end things with her. She still can find a man who loves her and whatever....blue pill stuff

At first she was cool with just having sex coz it was so good but then after she is like " I cant be just your fuck toy forever especially that u told me u will never be my boyfriend". The sex continued for like 6 months on and off after she said that. Eventually she realized because I had put my foot down again to the point where I had to be a douche and would just send her texts like hey wanna fuck? Even when I became single. She said no a few times but when I showed up the panties dropped.

Eventually I blocked her on everything.

mega_kook · 2019-01-09T04:39:29+00:00

This is a difficult story for sure. Just to clarify have you already let her go or still debating it? Respect to you for caring about her perspective either way.

EXandRR · 2019-01-09T05:38:14+00:00

TRP is to promote sexual strategy, not sexual selfishness. Good on you man.

Emerald__Faith · 2019-01-09T07:02:59+00:00

Isn't this the true meaning of

If you love them, let them go

A wise saying I think!

rAFCdadHUSBAND · 2019-01-09T08:41:23+00:00

Good for you having strong game, and a conscience too.

Totsean · 2019-01-09T10:06:05+00:00

I keep on gf, that probably is queue for LTR, we are close to 3 year relationship, she doesn't want to marry yet.. but wants a baby when she is 28.

However, I just fuck girls whenever I feel like it, i don't see them again, I just do one night stands. Way easier, seriously, just pump and dump and get new pussy.

dani098 · 2019-01-09T11:22:45+00:00

Just tell her you’re in a relationship, give her all the attention and then later break up with you. That’s how you get rid of them

ComplexProjection · 2019-01-09T12:35:21+00:00

Did she tell you she wants your exclusive commitment? From your post, I have the feeling you are assuming that girls need monogamous males devoted to them to be happy. That's bluepilled.

I've had girls happy with me banging around, proving them each time that they were right by choosing me.

Don't make a choice for her, be honest with her, and let her take decisions.

LilLoserFreny · 2019-01-09T15:39:30+00:00

I’m failing to to see the issue.

soundnpound · 2019-01-09T20:00:18+00:00

I am new to this sub and it is genuinely incredibly uplifting to see that the general consensus is sensible advice saying he should cut her off for her own good.

I have to admit I was expecting a wall of locker room talk telling the guy he had it made, and that he could string her along getting sexual favours along the way.

This actually warmed my cold cynical heart.

It's good to see red pillers being considerate and spreading positivity.

Lambdal7 · 2019-01-09T21:18:22+00:00

Just tell her that you dont want to be ezclusive. She’ll Probably still want to see you from time to time. Win win.

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2019-01-09T23:19:29+00:00

I gave up the sweetest most giving girl I've been with because she was 26 and I knew she wanted a family. I had no intention for a few years yet. So, despite and because I did love her I let her go.

Terdmuffin · 2019-01-09T23:44:44+00:00

I think it's good to not intentionally lead her on a lie about what you want. I'm not a big fan of pre-emptive measures like this, however. She enjoys your time together and so do you so why not continue? If she believes that you'll eventually want a relationship then that's not really your problem. If you want to do it out of the altruistic nature of your heart then that's fine, but you've made your intentions known and she's still sticking around. It's often said to look at her actions not her words.

About a year ago I had a Fwb of 12 months drop out of the blue saying she wanted a relationship and family and I didn't blah blah. I understood. The next day she was FBO with another guy and was shortly thereafter engaged to him. I thought for sure she wasn't seeing anyone else and was still holding out hope I'd commit. My advice would be to stay with her until she finds another guy (she will) and then wish her the best of luck.

organicfluxx · 2019-01-10T15:54:31+00:00

How did you meet her?

furcryingoutloud · 2019-01-09T04:17:29+00:00

You deserve huge props for being a true man. But here are some things you have not mentioned and I just thought you need to at least think about. There is a very fine line between love and hate. Women will cross that line without even knowing it. Today she loves you to death. Let her go and you could be creating the next al'Quaeda bitch boss who might ruin your life.

The questions to ask yourself before you drop this bomb. How much does she know about you? Sit down and think of all the small details that she knows that could be a problem for you. If there aren't any, hey, that's great dude. But if there is anything, anything at all she could use to hurt you, take it into consideration. Most unicorns turn into extremely vindictive animals when hurt.

I surely hope that if you do release her, she'll find another carousel horsey and be done with you. But if there is anything she can use to hurt you, batten down your hatches and be prepared to ride out a storm.

Again, I really, really hope I'm wrong.

animalapemachine · 2019-01-09T01:20:50+00:00

Hey bro you know women will do it to you two women will spend you as a plate sucking tens of thousands of dollars off of you for dinners and trips and hotels and things at the beach and MDMA and rafting and diamonds and pearl necklaces and then they go all I just don't want to hurt his feelings song why don't you just fall in love with her and give her the Disney Princess treatment

BrutalMan420 · 2019-01-09T04:21:27+00:00

jesus fucking christ this place has sunk deep since the quarantine. thanks for shoehorning the question at the bottom after patting yourself on the back with this post.

AnewENTity · 2019-01-09T00:12:38+00:00

What the fuck is a plate

MisplacedSanityP · 2019-01-09T08:07:26+00:00

You're such a little bitch, but do whatever you want.

tgod1811 · 2019-01-09T04:37:30+00:00

Can we stop calling women plates? They're not fucking objects

Title	Thinking about letting plate go to be happy
Author	youngbull24
Upvotes	176
Comments	103
Date	09 January 2019 12:10 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	askTRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/137115
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ae0t96/thinking_about_letting_plate_go_to_be_happy/