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Day 5 - Break up with your friend girl

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January 18, 2013

Today is your last day to obtain a copy of The Manipulated Man. It's easy to find if you google for a pdf.

Today's task: Break up with a friend girl. No, not girlfriend. I mean friend girl.

Take a look at day 3. Remember that woman from the article that just kept Mike on beta orbiter status so he'd do things for her?

We all have that friend girl in our lives, on facebook, at work, somewhere.

Today's task: Ask her out romantically. Be clear. "Hey, let's go on a date."

If she says no, or fails to respond, it's time to cut ties. You knew she wasn't any good for you, it's time to be realistic about this.

Obviously no need for fanfare to break up. You don't need to tell her you're cutting her off. Just make the decision and stick to it.

This is about realizing what value people give you.

  • If you don't have anybody like this in your life, congrats, you've passed Day 5.

  • If you are currently in a relationship, do this anyway, but then decline to follow through on the date.

We are now ensuring that your relationships are in your frame, not theirs. It's time to ditch the relationships, platonic or not, that are not in your frame.

Post Information
Title Day 5 - Break up with your friend girl
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 25
Comments 30
Date 18 January 2013 02:22 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit becomeaman
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/137274
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/becomeaman/comments/16tf0u/day_5_break_up_with_your_friend_girl/
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[–]MockingDead4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have a friend girl I do nice things for without real desire for reciprocation. I don't find her attractive, do I need to do this? I say no to her sometimes.

[–]AlwaysLateToThreads2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Probably not. Sounds to me like she's just a friend.

[–]shute7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is a very important one actually.

Don't trust your mind, that you can actually stay friends with her. Your brain will play tricks on you, you'll become that emotional tampon even if you don't want to be. And even though you insist you can maintain a platonic relationship, A) why would you want to? B) Cutting her out will ultimately pay dividends for your strength of character, manhood, and attractiveness to other girls in the future.

There's some kind of crazy thing, where if you become discerning with where you spend your time and who with, if you become selective and make your own goals a priority, women just sort of float into your orbit.

Of course that's no excuse not to approach, but it's just a happy by product of taking the first steps to become a man

[–]shute2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I try my best to live according to the HEAT law. "Don't have anything in your life you couldn't walk out on in 30 seconds flat when the heat comes round the corner"

Obviously not to an extreme extent, but self reliance is the key and starting point to self mastery

[–]ospurt8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

I agree this is very important.

As an older (42), very recently divorced guy...I can say I finally passed this one with authority this past summer, in spades.

This past summer I divorced my wife, dropped two long term female friends and re-framed the relationship with a previous sex partner who I still see from time to time. (not sexually, thus the big re-frame)

I debated putting the back story to these, and decided not to, but can.

Just know in my divorce I had become the epitome of a worn-out, depressed, beta that was dealing with a "cyborg hamster on meth." She had become clinically crazy. (diagnosed)

[–]redpillschool[S] -4 points-3 points  (3 children) | Copy

She had become clinically crazy. (diagnosed)

If you took almost any female in the USA to test, I think most of them would qualify!

Congrats on your new life!

[–]avoutthere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Congrats on your new life!

Indeed. Well done.

[–]ospurt0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy


I know that to be true of the vast majority of women now. My perception of women is scary....and red pill just fine tunes it.

I am also starting to realize the numerous alpha traits I have/had, that were never used or covered in beta. Basically I was not deliberate in using them or spurned then because of social/feminine training.

It is a HUGE life change to deliberately embrace the natural. That's what I'm learning.

[–]VZPurpMan: First Class3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

We can indeed beat our conditioning.

[–][deleted] 6 points6 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]theubercuberMan: First Class5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have a similar good female friend. The important thing is to ensure that you are actual friends (Mine is 'just one of the guys' basically) and you don't have this orbiter relationship or uneven expectations of favors.

I did have a manipulative female friend I ditched a couple months ago. She was in my circle and luckily some of the other guys saw the same thing in her.

[–]redpillschool[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not if your relationship is like the article on day 3. If she's providing you value, then keep her. But really ask yourself, is she providing you value, or is she taking value?

[–]effwhyeye0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

make no mistake, she won't go around telling her cute friends how hot you are if you're acting like being a beta for her

[–]RedHonestMan: First Class-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can have a female friend if you're not sexually attracted to her. Otherwise...cut her off.

[–]MockingDead1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Currently sleeping on their couch. No other couch to sleep on.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stopped talking to all of them a while ago. Have 1 remaining, but no sexual attraction from either direction, and ever she is somewhat of a pushover. I AM IN CHARGE OF MY LIFE.

[–]VZPurpMan: First Class2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Very important. I've actually been doing this since I've subscribed to the /r/theredpill. I set two criteria for my interactions:

  1. Sex, and/or

  2. Exchange of goods, materials, services, etc.

I've been free of beta orbit for some time now and I'll never go back.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

it's pretty god damn awesome when they make you food for the week. before this i wouldn't have thought about exchanges, first steps to something big..

[–]Almost_A_PUA1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I did this about two months ago. One of the hardest things I've had to do, and I still can't stop thinking about her, but it's sooo rewarding. Ever since I "broke up" with her, I started regularly working out, taking cold showers, meditating, doing yoga, eating better, and just a shit load of other self improvement things. Once you understand that she can get another guy in a second, it really motivates you to better yourself. Plus there's no more bullshit clouding my mind. Definitely do this!

[–]lono121 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

What's the purpose of the cold showers?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

that's some solid improvement. i find the cold shows hard to keep up, but i know where my goals are, so i'll get there soon.

[–]VZPurpMan: First Class1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

A friend girl I broke up with has been trying to creep shame me for approaching other women instead of paying attention to her. Good shit!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I just completed this. Well, full disclosure, I just made the attempt to ask her out. Got shot down with a series of compliments. She simply said she wasn't attracted to me in that way. Kudos to her for her honesty. The removal is beginning now, with the series of follow up texts she is sending me. I'm not exactly sure how to respond to them, so I've just politely told her I've got some prior commitments I've got to take care of and I will talk to her later. I'm genuinely not sure if this is a beta move, but I'd personally like to not be an outright asshole.

If you guys have any suggestions, I can transcribe the texts and let me know what you think.

[–] points points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Very insightful. Thank you. She hasn't pressed the issue since the string of texts after the initial conversation.

[–]AlwaysLateToThreads0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I just want to vent.

I have a friend girl and I don't have frame right now. However I can't break up with her. I don't want to feed her hamster and give her a reason for breaking up with her, because I know she'll spin it and make me a bad guy. I try to withdraw from her, but then she pulls me back in. We'll go out, we'll kiss, I'll take her home, but she doesn't want sex or a relationship. IM TRYING TO GET HER TO REJECT ME BUT SHE WON'T! I do things that are very polarizing in order to get her to push me a way, I tell her straight up the nasty things I want to do to her. She sticks around but I never get to do those nasty things. She calls me in the mornings to tell me to have a good day, and does and says things to show me that she thinks about me. She takes me out sometimes too. I do get value from her, just not the sex or relationship that I want. I try withdrawing, she realizes it and seeks me out every single time.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

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[–]AlwaysLateToThreads2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man! I'm actually in the process of letting her go. It's gotten a lot easier now since the time I posted me earlier message.

We met in law school, I was a year ahead of her and younger than her by a year. I spent 18 months essentially beta orbiting, helping her with whatever she needed and tried to really care about her, I was super beta. (I met her before I joined this sub). I let her borrow books, took her out quite a bit, etc. I did express sexual interest, also i kissed her a few times, she refused a lot of them though. I also know she hangs out with other guys, perhaps she's collecting orbiters, or has an alpha fucks and I was her beta bucks.

When I graduated, she didn't bother to show up to such a big day of mine. It left an empty feeling. I would have shown up to her graduation. That day essentially solidified what I already knew, I was prioritizing someone that did not prioritize me. Since then I've stopped initiating contact with her. She still calls me, texts me, and sends e-mails. My responses are always short. Eventually things will fade away. I don't plan on confronting her and telling her how I feel, I don't want to feed the hamster anymore. I've just been focusing on improving myself, hitting the gym, and preparing myself for the hotter girls to come.

I need someone who prioritizes me, wants to kiss me, and wants to do for me. I also feel a lot less stressed since I stopped hitting her up. It feels great, now that I've broken up with my friend girl, I'm looking forward to all my new interactions with girls that will be in my frame.

[–]redpillgreenlight0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Well that sucked, I wasn't planning to get shot down that early.

"Do you want to go out to dinner?"

"No I'd rather hang out with our gay mutual friend."

[–]MockingDead-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well, it turns out she broke up with me, i guess keeping to myself and cleaning the house for her (in return for a couch) was TOO MUCH when I ATE 3 EGGS without asking her.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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