This is about beach volleyball, but I feel it applies to many aspects in life. I'm a 32 y/o foreigner without many options on the dating market so I devote a lot of time to myself.
So, once in a while you come to my sand court with your 20 y/o lady friend who you are going to impress by taking on the King in your white button up shirt and khaki pants. Wrong set up.
I like you. I see what you're trying to do. I have nothing against it. I will even let you do it for fun.
But here's where you make the crucial mistake. Because I WILL unleash the beach ball in your face over and over again and make you spit and fart sand. I do that because if I let you win she will see it and you're over in her eyes.
You make the crucial mistake, because your pride thinks you can take my spikes, your ego thinks it can come up and block me, your beginner gains think you can even get over the net and try to swing at the ball and do something about me. After about 5 minutes of that, you deflate, get angry at yourself, shut your mouth, and the fun is over for you, for your lady friend, for my partner, and for me. That's when your fear sets in, your chest sinks, your shoulders roll forward and the creepy insecure smile freezes on your face. Everyone can see that, especially your pretty date.
Don't do it. You can't do any of that shit. I am here every day practicing my roll shots and my serves, because I have nothing else to do and because beach has been a part of my life for 15 years. I probably don't have the option of doing anything better with my evenings anymore.
So recognize a couple of facts:
- You didn't come here to win a game of beach volleyball against me;
- You certainly didn't come here to show off your nonexistent skills;
- You are not showing courage by getting angry, and badmouthing me after the game in front of your girl is only reiterating the fact that you're a loser;
Realize that you're coming to the beach court to show your girl how you handle losing.
You do that by acknowledging to yourself the fact that I'm better than you - that's obvious to everyone. You lost the minute you stepped on the court. Acknowledge it and then ignore it, focus on the interaction with your date during the game, and make fun of the messy awkwardness that you and her are on the sand. Bump into her, stumble on top of her, tease her about her bad shots, and then take it when she mocks you back for yours.
After it's over, come up, shake my hand, tell me that it was great fun playing with me and my partner, and walk away a WINNER - not of the game, but of the girl YOU brought on a date instead of this broke beach bum.
tl;dr: Read the fucking thing cause I wrote it from my heart. Agree and amplify the brain dead situation that you put yourself into to get out of it a winner.