It's starting to become obvious to me that the reason I'm an asshole towards women I'm attracted to is because I feel under threat. I'm not confident enough around them, so I retreat under a cover of mean-ness. Some girls like this, others don't, but the common denominator is that most of the girls see through this and I can only get so far with them. The girls who like my demeanor usually expect some kind of yin/yang balance to happen, but it never does. I stay scrunched up, upset, and I can't figure out how to have fun around them. The best I can do is be sarcastic, crack jokes, belittle them and turn my attention to having better conversations with the guys in my group and let the girls figure out what they're doing wrong. Sometimes it works, most of the time it doesn't.

The problem is that a bulk of the women I interact with are your prototypical N.American bitch. Letting my guard down isn't something that I can manage at all. Being the way I am towards them in the very least keeps them in check. Unfortunately this is a catch 22 because I also don't know how to balance this out with flirting and with allowing a certain amount of vulnerability into the mix to allow for chemistry to happen.

Do you guys catch my drift?