I've read thousands of articles, posts on reddit, watched lots of motivation videos, RSD videos and lately started reading books... BUT never took action, but if i did and i failed i never tried twice.

So when i went in the real world i didn't know how to apply all of this knowledge, i though i was steps ahead, i though i was confident, my anxieties gone, people would respect me, I'd be masculine, i wouldn't be made fun of, i wouldn't fail, i wouldn't be awkward, my ego would be satisfied and well fed with all the good results... Nothing like that. I though the mistake was that i didn't read or watched enough videos, so i kept doing the same. You may guess the result - zero.

I now realized i have nothing to lose, i fucking admit i suck, i was the shy bullied kid in high school, i was nowhere close what you call "alpha" even when i thought i was after being familiar with what "ALPHA" is, i was LYING to myself to feel better... I was putting on an act just because people on reddit would say that's the right way to do it, it put so much pressure on me that i forgot what is to live, have fun, have purpose and not being obsessed with the results in the first place.

I wasted my time and fooled myself with fairy tales and not taking REAL action, don't do the same.

As always, any comments, advice's and criticism are welcome.