Alrighty folks. Here we go.

Tinder matched with a 30 year old Asian lady. Very good looking, clearly still had great SMV. She claimed to be new to Tinder. We texted until I called the next day - and we met up. She was one of those "not my first rodeo" types. Had been in a couple LTRs, had A KID [which was revealed a bit later to me] (and I know that this shapes a lot about her whole world view, so if you have insight based on this, lmk), and has been a bartender (pseudo-shrink, for those of you who know what bartenders experience).

Over the course of the night, I lead and make a few decisions. On the phone, we discussed where we were meeting - she suggested a place, I said I'll get back to her on whether that'll be good or if there's anywhere else that I'm considering. End up meeting where she suggested. When I get there, she's sitting at a table, and I suggest we move to the bar, explaining that I don't want to be yelling across a table at her (yes, I know, explaining myself, so not RP, but she had been negative with the body language when I suggested - stay with me here, I'm getting to the point). Then, at the bar, she manages to spill ketchup on herself, which she asks me to get her a napkin for. I say "I'll ask the bartender for one," and she keeps harping on me to get one from the table. I don't - I wait for the bartender to bring one and she wipes up (shit test passed? failed?).

Date goes on, gets to the bill. She doesn't even reach for her purse. I say "oh, are we not splitting this one?" (edit: I should note that this I didn't say this as an actual question. My tone and body language was pointed - giving her shit moreso than actually inquiring.) She says "we can, but it doesn't make me feel ladylike" in my head, I know this is just game to get a free set of drinks/food out of me. But finally, the [edit] bartender comes back to retrieve the bill, and my card is the only one on the tab (in the interaction, we discuss splitting, her getting another drink, and she pulls her card for a moment, while handing me mine back - until I put it back on and she doesn't [mind you all this happened quickly so by the time the bartender came to take the check my card was on there and hers wasn't]), so I just cover the tab. Failed shit test - but I get the feeling I failed the interaction a bit earlier than this. Again - she's got a kid. Shaping her world view a bit? Interested in a beta bux more than an alpha fux?

Over the course of the night, she said to me that I have a "douchebag air" about me. "Not in a good way." Again, good, reciprocated kino and responsive the whole night, so I'm thinking she's just throwing a shit test out there that I'm passing and she's not checked out.

Finally, we're leaving the bar. As we're walking, I go in to kiss her, and she turns aways. She begins a conversation. Lots of "you're super hot, super funny, super charming..." but with caveats like: "if you just dropped the douchebag, if you just dropped the front, be yourself, be more like who you actually are..."

So I asked her - "What about me feels inauthentic to you?"

tl;dr starts here

She says "I feel like you have a bunch of friends who just kinda decided how they're gonna treat girls, and you just kinda hopped on board. And deep down, you don't actually feel that way."

Well shit. If I didn't truly believe in TRP, I wouldn't still be subscribed. I think my issue is that while I believe in TRP truths, I'm still unsure how to navigate them with an experienced woman. She more or less saw right through me. That I'm still a beta.

How do we gain authenticity when we're supposed to fake it til we make it? At what point are we faking it to break it? What is authenticity, really? I authentically believe in these tenets, but they're still coming off as fake - is it more simply a matter of putting up a better front? Is authenticity really just about "coming off" as more authentic?

Let me know, TRP. Where I failed, where I passed - looking forward to the feedback.