The Gay Male Friend Zone

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May 23, 2014

What do you folks think about the Friend Zone / beta orbit concept applied to male-male relationships?

I've had two friends that might have perceived themselves to be in my orbit friend zone. I appreciated their platonic friendship but was not interested in a sexual relationship.

Case #1: I dated him briefly but LJBF'd after a month or two because the sex wasn't working out; nevertheless, I did (and do still) care about him very much and would do anything for him ... except have sex. He seemed to accept it (after a time) but others have commented to me at a later point that they thought he was still interested. Fortunately he now has a partner (a real c**t but that's another story for another time) - I'm happy for him that he now has the kind of relationship he wants (not thrilled about his choice).

Case #2: I was never interested in him, ever, and up front made that as clear as I possibly could without making harsh statements about his physique/etc. (but did go as far as saying "I'm not into you that way, you're not my physical type"). We were friends for awhile because we were both in needy spaces (he was coming out after being in the closet and celibate for half a lifetime, and I was recovering from oneitis). I distanced myself when he became more forceful about the sex issue, in a very manipulative way.

What's the best course of action in these situations? Case #2 I don't care that much about (turns out we didn't have much in common after all, the friendship was entirely situational, plus he's terminally a wuss). Case #1 I do care about because I value the friendship, and have fretted over potential mixed messages and what it might be like from his PoV.

TLDR: How do you maintain a platonic friendship when one side wants sex and the other does not?

Post Information
Title The Gay Male Friend Zone
Author OsoFeo
Upvotes 8
Comments 3
Date 23 May 2014 05:44 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit altTRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
betafriend zoneorbiterLJBF

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

How do you maintain a platonic friendship when one side wants sex and the other does not?

Are you kidding? Do you actually understand The Red Pill at all? It was developed for straight men but it has implications for all men. It extends way beyond just sexual strategy and things of that nature. This is about owning yourself fully. That TLDR pretty much shows you have not come close to owning yourself.

How does this guy value/cherish your friendship? He doesn't. He wants your dick. Why is that so hard to get? He is still a guy gay or not AND has access to female tactics as well. He is Red Pilling you son. Get your shit together.

The comment I have for you has nothing to do with your fat "friend" or your situation. My advice to you is to buck up and own your inner alpha. Wise up.

Also - this subreddit sucks. It would be awesome if it didn't. The comment at the bottom from /u/ProudOppressor:

Well, you could let him suck you off. What could go wrong? Ain't nothing wrong with getting a blowjob from a fatty, it's making the best of a bad situation.

How is this downvoted? Seriously. Fuck his face. Blow your load all over him. Throw a rag at him and tell him to clean himself up and GTFO. A perfectly valid solution. Can't stay hard? Remind him during the blowjob you aren't attracted to him. Remind you fucking told him that. Why are you feeling like shit when he is the shit?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can understand wanting to maintain a friendship with guys even after sex is off the table. Unlike the with women, where friendship after sex is almost universally a bad idea, with guys I think it can be positive - depending on the guy.

Some gay men don't know how to maintain nonsexual male-male bonds. For these men they will either be actively perusing you sexually or simply not associate with you any longer, which I think is kind of sad. That being said, I prefer not to be with men like that, so the loss is small.

You aren't responsible for their emotions or attachments. There's very little you can do, and very little you should do, to control how they relate to you sexually and Platonically. As long at you made it clear that you were no longer sexually interested and don't continue to give signals to the contrary, you've done all you can.

Behave as you normally would with any friend. Perhaps try including them in more group get-togethers as apposed to one on ones.

[–]KenshinX901 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You could do something to intentionally turn him off from you.

I had a friend that i liked and he said I'm cute but still friend zoned me,after knowing him for 2 years now,i realize he has some issues and we're incompatible anyway,so i feel like i dodged a bullet anyway.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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