I am a straight male. There is a girl in my life who identifies as non-binary. How do I respect their identification without going straight up beta?

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December 16, 2014

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Title I am a straight male. There is a girl in my life who identifies as non-binary. How do I respect their identification without going straight up beta?
Author whatdoesfunmean
Upvotes 6
Comments 13
Date 16 December 2014 04:27 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit altTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/163353
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/altTRP/comments/2pfq08/i_am_a_straight_male_there_is_a_girl_in_my_life/
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[–]should_6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Be polite if it comes up in intellectual conversation, that's all you have to do, and keep treating her like a real woman. My guess is that's how she wants to be treated, despite what she might say.

[–]wolfman860 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Be polite

I'd have thought this was obvious....

Edit; a word

[–]should_-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

I meant as opposed to "be controversial and start talking about how one could suppose she was just doing that for attention and how she likely reacts romantically and sexually just like any other girl."

[–]wolfman860 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know. OPs comment about not coming across as Beta screams "macho areshole", I think. What you've said is spot on.

[–]rporbust1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you really want to go down that road then call her what she wants to be called but treat her like any other woman (a rose by any other name and all that). The smart thing to do would be to back away slowly and in a beta-like manner though, because "non-binaries" are almost exclusively feminists or SJWs who refuse to accept that biological sex is a thing and believe that anybody who doesn't perfectly adhere to gender roles must be a different gender entirely instead of just a slightly quirky man or woman.

[–]creepgirl0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

WTF is 'non-binary' and 'beta' in this context?

Yea, I'm quite new to this community...

[–]whatdoesfunmean[S] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy

Non-binary is a gender association which assumes the genders lie on a spectrum rather than in black and white. Associating it to relative morality, gender is a whole bunch of "shades of gray" rather than being male or female.

Beta is a social standing. Betas always reside in the shadow of the alpha. They are easily used, walked over, and for the most part they take it and accept it that way because that is their social standing. They know nothing else. There are other social standings aside from Alpha and Beta, including Delta, Omega, Sigma, and others depending how deep you want to get into it.

[–]KenshinX900 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I'm well aware enough of the social dynamic between men and women to not get used and recognize shit tests but my shyness stops me from approaching people I'm interested and kind of holds me back in life.

which social standing would i fall into?

[–]whatdoesfunmean[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

An emerging beta, probably. You are aware but you haven't come out of your shell.

This is a nice little bit of mental masturbation if you REALLY want to follow these trains of thought:


[–]KenshinX900 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The description of a beta there sounds alot less harsh than what i think of it as, although i still don't fully identify with it.

But thanks nonetheless

[–] points points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You think that gender fluidity is a thing but social standing isn't. The world is fucking crazy.

[–]whatdoesfunmean[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Nah, I'm just liberal when it comes to different identifications because I know that these people are human and they understand and experience something that I can't.

I just wanted to find a balance between respecting their (her) identification without rolling over and being a bitch.

Beta does have a lot to do with low self-esteem. They put themselves there. But they remain there by believing what they're doing is okay and right and that there's no way for them to escape their position.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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