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Guy I'm exclusively dating is "not ready for a relationship"

by caius_iulius_caesar | May 13, 2015 | altTRP

3 upvotes

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I've been seeing this guy once or twice a week for about 2 months. We go out, stay in, have sex.

A week or so in he asked whether I was seeing anyone else (which I'm not). I asked him the same thing about a week ago, and he said he wasn't.

He added that he's "not ready for a relationship at the moment." I said I'm fine with things kicking along as they are.

I don't want to cohabit, I just want to be exclusive. So this suits me fine.

Is there some hidden message in the phrase "not ready for a relationship" that I'm not getting?


Post Information
Title Guy I'm exclusively dating is "not ready for a relationship"
Author caius_iulius_caesar
Upvotes 3
Comments 7
Date 13 May 2015 07:06 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit altTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/163362
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/altTRP/comments/35t1br/guy_im_exclusively_dating_is_not_ready_for_a/
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Comments

[–]ZorbaTHut3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is there some hidden message in the phrase "not ready for a relationship" that I'm not getting?

If I had to make a guess, I'd say the hidden message is ". . . but I'm worried you are, and you're looking for one actively". People don't tend to bring that up unless they think there's a potential conflict.

If you're not actively looking for a relationship with him, you're probably OK.

That said . . .

I don't want to cohabit, I just want to be exclusive. So this suits me fine.

. . . if you haven't made it clear that you want exclusivity, you may want to. "Not ready for a relationship", in some cultures, also implies "non-exclusive unless stated otherwise".

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm a guy who's more-or-less exclusively fucking a transwoman. She wants a relationship. I'm not giving her one. Why?

She's polyamorous. I'm monogam-ish. And I told her up front that "We can fuck, but I'm not investing any feelings in you because you're polyamorous, and I'm not."

As someone who's basically a one-woman man, I can't have a woman that I'm romantically involved with going around opening new romantic involvements with people I don't even know.

Not sure if this post brings any light onto your problem, but maybe there's a related issue?

[–]hoogityboogitiesRIP1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Hey dude. It's pretty simple "not ready for a relationship..." Is a common generic phrase.

It's probably useful as a cop-out saying to express "I don't value you the same way" " I want to continue to feel the freedom to see other people"

[–]caius_iulius_caesar[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Those are two pretty different things ...

[–]hoogityboogitiesRIP0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Okay... You already know the answer?

[–]caius_iulius_caesar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I don't understand your question. Would you be more explicit?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He's interested in dicking guys on the side.



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