I can't emphasize enough on how important confidence is when it comes down to relationships and sex (I'll focus on the latter because that's my expertise). I can say with certainty that I technically have a "dad bod", and I still managed to pick up a gorgeous blond bodybuilder from California with a chiseled six pack. (Remember, gents, lifting is a cornerstone. Nobody gives a fuck about your toned dream body)
I once knew a guy who, anytime I didn't reply to one of his messages right away, he'd immediately send another one saying "I'm sorry, I'm annoying you, I'll go away now." Yyyeah. Don't do that. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Now the top comment is my favorite to write about because I can't tell you how many times that I've been on and off apps like Scruff and Grindr only to find a guy pulling the "?" message to further his point across. That's a sign of clinginess. Growlr is by far the worst because these guys don't take care of themselves, and it leads to a downward spiral of social inability worse than someone who was diagnosed with autism (I should know- I was diagnosed with it in 2nd grade). It really doesn't help that they will talk to you from 1000 miles away.
Now a few things to counteract this- first and foremost, lift. It will get you to where your body needs to go. Second off, know your niche. While the cliques suck, a little secret is that they tend to mingle with one another. To find a guy you're into, learn to spot what guys are looking for. For example, most guys that hit me on Scruff tend to be into the bear crowd. Lastly, be patient. For example, today, my dad was in town, and I haven't seen him in a good 6 months since Christmas. Sometimes things come up that take guys away from such social media.
Now- going back to real life- like I said, when it comes down to hooking up at the bar, put your best fucking foot forward. When I saw the bodybuilder at the bar, I just told myself "fuck it, the worst he'll say is no", so I just went for it. Made small talk with him, told him I thought he was the best looking guy at the bar (no weird compliments, such as "you have a beautiful penis") and made sure I got to know him. Next thing I knew, we were making out at the bar and he took me to where he was sleeping. What you have to do, alttrp, is find a niche, look your best, and stick with it.
Okay- those are my thoughts for the night. Anyway- I'm open to a fair critique on this open letter regarding confidence at the bar. It's late at night and I'm tired from the gym and it's close to midnight here, so I'm not expecting the letter to be even close to sublime.