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New guy: seeking to sculpt and forge a better me

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July 12, 2015
3 upvotes

So, I'm Edward, and I just wrote the most cliche title for a thread in the world. I'm new to this subreddit, obviously, but I'm not really a stranger to reactionary and more conservative modes of thought. In the summer of 2014, I jumped down the rabbit hole, so to speak, when I discovered Austrian School economics, libertarianism, and traditionalist conservatism, the latter with which I strongly identify. I have always had a strong ethical sense and a set of moral values, a lot of which are instilled by my devout, yet unconventional Christianity. My perspectives inform my world a lot, but I don't see through rose-tinted glasses: I am pragmatic and believe that a modern world brings modern challenges. One should not attempt to create some fantasy land to stimulate some fetish for a world which no longer exists, or worse, never existed to begin with. When it comes to sexual ethics, I believe that stable LTRs are the goal. It's been hard for me to warm up to all aspects of game theory because of my beliefs, but I'm comfortable stretching and reimagining ways to make newfound wisdom work with long-held values. I hope to be able to dialogue about that with some people here.

I consider myself attracted to men and women sexually and romantically, but to men the most when it comes to sexual and romantic matters, and women only occasionally when it comes to sex. To me, there's no way sharing an intimate experience with a man is comparable to one with a woman. It's an expression of a deep, masculine virility that I've always longed to feel coarsing through another man's veins, or, should I say, another man's cock. When I first came to the realisation that I was attracted to guys, I took on the guise of the stereotypical flamboyant male homosexual, and hated every minute of it. I dropped the act a year or so ago because it betrayed the masculinity I felt deep inside of me, and drove me to a point where I was extremely depressed and disgusted with myself. I consider myself past that dark point and now essentially masculine with a few effeminate habits left. I've haven't really dated anyone seriously because I never have considered them up to my standards, so to speak. I'm a pretty cultured person: I enjoy art museums, opera (I'm a classical vocalist), and literature, and it's important for any man I date to be both masculine and able to engage with me over that. I don't mind playing first mate rather than captain, but I'm not at all a weak person and refuse to be any man's bitch. I have a few potential interests now, but above all I value the company and friendship of other men. I'd like to begin exercising seriously and making strides to gain weight. I'm 5'11" and naturally thin, but in an attractive, male model sort of way (my mother is a model and my father's an Alpha type who wanted to settle down in his later years). I dress well (a mix between avant-garde and classic old-school prep) and am all around stylish, I'd say. 'm a fan of Chelsea FC and enjoy tennis, but I don't play any sport seriously. I'd like to take one on, but I'm a pretty good distance/terrain runner. I walk or run at least three or four miles every week, sometimes two miles a day (I live right outside NYC). I'm also very extroverted: my Myers-Brigg is ENTJ, by the way.

So, yeah, that's me. Hopefully this sub isn't totally dead.


Post Information
Title New guy: seeking to sculpt and forge a better me
Author edward_c_f
Upvotes 3
Comments 3
Date 12 July 2015 01:01 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit altTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/163367
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/altTRP/comments/3cyvfj/new_guy_seeking_to_sculpt_and_forge_a_better_me/
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Comments

[–]throwaway849280 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Being an INTJ, the J side has prevented me in the past from meeting new people. I find it's important to try to be open-minded, you never know who you can form a genuine connection with.

As for gaining weight, start with Stronglifts 5x5 for 6 months (https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2m1gtt/if_squats_arent_a_part_of_your_lifting_routine/); the weightlifting will increase your testosterone and help you get bigger. Throw in some accessory exercises after a month (chin-ups / dips / arm work). Do HIIT / runs on your rest days, and you should be set.

I relate to you a lot in many ways; shoot me a message if you want to chat.

Cheers

[–]should_0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

That's really cool that you 'came from', so to speak, the conservative and reactionary ideologies before you got here. I went PUA>TRP>here>DarkEnlightenment and found my liberalism dissipated quite abruptly, and became really interested in reactionary and libertarian political thought. Thomas Sowell and Julie Borowski are my Gs. Interesting how these connect.

This would probably be a preaching-to-the-choir book for you, but you might find "Androphilia" by Jack Donovan interesting since it's about forging masculinity for gays and calling out 'gay femininity' for being a ruse that doesn't line up for most gays. Hope you enjoy your time here, feel free to reach out.

[–]edward_c_f[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I've been trying to get my hands on it for a while! Sowell is also particularly great for me, as a black guy who leans conservative.



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