Gay guys and spirituality/art

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May 1, 2017

Why is it that spirituality and art seems to be more common an interest among gay guys. I'm bi and pretty straight but I'm into this stuff a lot. Particularly involving music and drugs but yeah. I come to altTRP because in a way I connect more with some of the posts here and they help me understand myself and overall world dynamics better than standard trp "lift and work hard make money" or whatever. That's a big oversimplification, trp has great stuff on inner game and all that, but yeah just wondering what yall's thoughts are

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Title Gay guys and spirituality/art
Author Sbdaq
Upvotes 3
Comments 9
Date 01 May 2017 08:40 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit altTRP
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[–]wingedagni2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

There is an interesting part of "The Velvet Rage" by Alan Downs... def worth a read although it's long.

Like a lot of the book, it's kinda hit or miss. But there are certainly interesting ideas that he toys with. Replace "fashion" with "art" and I think it fits.

"If you’re “out,” you no longer harbor that “dirty little secret” about yourself, but you likely do continue to hide your true self behind the beauty you manufacture. And nobody knows how to create style more than gay men. We decorate the world. We decorate our lives. We decorate our bodies. And we do it all in an effort to hide our real selves from the world. Gay men are the worldwide experts on style, fashion, etiquette, bodybuilding, art, and design. In every one of these fields gay men predominate. If this weren’t so, there would be few tuning in to the hit television show Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

We specialize in makeovers of all types and sizes. We’re experts in making things and people look good. We are professionals in remodeling ugly truths into high-fashion dreams.

Ever stop to wonder why this is so? Is there really a gay creativity gene that we all inherited? When you think about it, is it actually plausible that our sexual orientation genetics would somehow also give us a talent for hair, makeup, and rearranging the living room?

I don’t think so. There seems to be something more to it. Something about the experience of being gay causes us to develop our “fashion” skills. Something about growing up gay forced us to learn how to hide ugly realities behind a finely crafted façade.

Why is this so? We hid because we learned that hiding is a means to survival. The naked truth about who we are wasn’t acceptable, so we learned to hide behind a beautiful image. We learned to split ourselves in parts, hiding what wasn’t acceptable and flaunting what was. We learned to wave beautiful, colorful scarves to distract attention from our gayness—like the matador waving a red scarf before the bull to distract the beast from goring his body. We became experts in crafting outrageous scarves.

The truth is that we grew up disabled. Not disabled by our homosexuality, but emotionally disabled by an environment that taught us we were unacceptable, not “real” men and therefore, shameful. As young boys, we too readily internalized those strong feelings of shame into a core belief: I am unacceptably flawed. It crippled our sense of self and prevented us from following the normal, healthy stages of adolescent development. We were consumed with the task of hiding the fundamental truth of ourselves from the world around us and pretending to be something we weren’t. At the time, it seemed the only way to survive.

One cannot be around gay men without noticing that we are a wonderful and wounded lot. Beneath our complex layers lies a deeper secret that covertly corrodes our lives. The seeds of this secret were not planted by us, but by a world that didn’t understand us, wanted to change us, and at times, was fiercely hostile to us. It’s not about how good or bad we are. It’s about the struggle so many of us have experienced growing up gay in a world that didn’t accept us, and the ongoing struggle as adult gay men to create lives that are happy, fulfilling, and ultimately free of shame."

[–]Anthonyy150 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

You forgot this 👉🏼'

[–]Sbdaq[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

What is that

[–]Anthonyy150 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

An apostrophe for y'all's

[–]Sbdaq[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

True. And your thoughts on this?

[–]Anthonyy150 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Art is a great way to express yourself whether it be creating or experiencing and idk

[–]hatessw0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Regardless of whether it's true, my experiences IRL don't match your perception in any case, not even a little bit. I'm hard pressed to come up with an explanation.

Spirituality could be due to explicit religion being less popular among gay men.

Art... I have no idea.

[–]Sbdaq[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hmm idk. Well it's no secret that artists maybe tend to be a bit more feminine or smtg no? (The good ones anyway) (just like how many good female artists haven't been super super feminine) mediums have tended to be women historically. Things like that. Like there's something a bit mystical that one can access better when having more balanced masculine and feminine or something? These are just theories wondering if anyone else has experienced anything similar but it's all good

[–]should_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm very into spirituality and used to be very into art; kind of am now. I think what both have in common is having neuroses, and having enough awareness of them that you are reaching for something more beautiful to become (spirituality, wanting to be like or become God) or you just like seeing something that is your Other (art, for example nerds who like superheroes), or you are simply expressing the pain (art) via an artistic medium, whether performing or viewing/listening/experiencing. Sporty guys are not so feelings-based.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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