Which is it...generally, do gay guys subconsciously look for their mother or father when dating? (Thoughts on yourself?)

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May 10, 2017

Maybe both?

I've heard that straight girls look for their dad and straight guys look for their mom. Wondering what the deal is with gay guys.

In terms of WHAT about the parent we are looking for, I doubt it's limited to looks and career. I'm sure that the parent's attitude, vibe, distance/intimacy patterns play a part.

Inb4 "what if he has gay parents"

Post Information
Title Which is it...generally, do gay guys subconsciously look for their mother or father when dating? (Thoughts on yourself?)
Author should_
Upvotes 5
Comments 5
Date 10 May 2017 11:48 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit altTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/163408
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/altTRP/comments/6agjsp/which_is_itgenerally_do_gay_guys_subconsciously/
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[–]vitringur3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Your premise is based upon outdated Freudian psychology.

Why do you assume that what you heard is correct in the first place?

But anyway, if we assume you are right, doesn't it just depend on if the gay is a top or a bottom?

It probably isn't, but it works for your false premise.

Or just make up whatever answer you like.

[–]Radithor1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I think what we have established here at alttrp under an excellent thread is that gay men yield to a man more mascuiline than what he is. Even if he is the toppest of tops he will yield to a more masculine gay man. So to put it into perspective of freudian psychology, gay men seek their fathers subconciously.

[–]should_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But there are relationship patterns with the mother that we repeat. For example if one's mother was very narcissistic and unloving, causing the gay boy to be providing for his mother's needs and feeling unloved, he will likely seek that kind of partner later in life.

[–]sprachspieler930 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

But isn't it the case generally speaking that gay men have somewhat peculiar relationships to their fathers, involving either an absence, lack of affection or some other aberrant situation? Furthermore it's been my understanding that gay men seek out qualities that were lacking in their parental figures, perhaps more so in the case of their father than their mother.

[–]Radithor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Could be the reason they seek primarily masculine figures in other men. In general it seems that anyone seeks the qualities that had been lacking in their childhood from a parental figure. Either way, it has been proven, and through my own experience that homosexual men are more attracted to masculine men than feminine, probably due to the abundance of feminine homosexuals being present.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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