I feel like this is the only place that can help me. I'm a pretty much straight dude except for sometimes being sexually attracted to guys (and frequently aesthetically attracted). I have a certain feminine side that likes to come out some times. I like art and beauty.
Main question is does this feminine tendency mean that I will never be able to maintain frame as well as very straight dudes? Also is it possible to become more masculine? I don't think it's healthy to repress femininity or gay urges and whatever. I'm mostly attracted to girls but sometimes I wanna get fucked I'm not sure. I'm not as strong as I'd like to be so maybe I seek that in other men.
This is a cluster fuck of thoughts sorry to dump this on everyone but I am having a pretty hard time with things it's driving me a little crazy.
I'm not sure how much you all believe in the masculine feminine energy stuff or having a masculine core or feminine core etc. Should I try to reduce my feminine behaviors (things like helping/listening to people's problems, being sensitive to other people's wants and needs, nurturing others etc)? I feel like deep meditation helps me be less anxious and feminine and more solid and stoic but I'm not sure how much is simply innate and "supposed to be there"
I'm really confused.