Girls trying to act dominant/lead/tell you what to do

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wiffofass
January 15, 2019
62 upvotes
askTRP

I've noticed a lot of women test me by trying to lead me or tell me what to do. Like pick exercises at the gym and have me follow them not the other way around. One girl even pointed it out after the workout she was surprised she got me to do that. It's the little things... An older milf pressured me to get a vasectomy done and I was really all for it. When I agreed it became obvious she wasn't serious and just wanted to see if she could get me to do it.

A lot of the times these thing don't register on time... Because I'm not alpha naturally and I guess these tests reveal that. Any comments on this kind of behavior?


Post Information
Title Girls trying to act dominant/lead/tell you what to do
Author wiffofass
Upvotes 62
Comments 44
Date 15 January 2019 09:27 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/164868
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ag6r67/girls_trying_to_act_dominantleadtell_you_what_to/
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Comments

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K18114 points115 points  (3 children) | Copy

Just know your boundaries, man. Don't be afraid of someone else's feelings, assert boundaries. Going along with a vascetomy is pretty damn huge.

Just get used to saying no.

I should add to this...you need to further unplug. You following what they say, may be a part of your old blue pill conditioning. That we should be kind, polite and subservient to women.

Women do NOT want you to do what they're asking. They are masters at weeding out who they DON'T want to fuck. The more you 'follow' them...the more unconsciously repulsed they become.

Your mission, is to make them invest sexual attraction into you. They want a man who says 'get fucked, I'm not doing that'. They want you to do what YOU want. To be selfish, and do it YOUR way.

It may feel weird, may feel like you'll offend or 'lose' them, but that's what masculinity is; willing to take risks.

You are doing them a favor, by asserting YOUR frame. They are inviting you to arouse attraction in them. They are attracted to men who put them in their place, and say 'these are my rules...I work out like THIS, follow me'. Tell her 'You work out like a girl...you do what you need to stay sexy for me...I'll be over here doing man shit'.

UNPLUG...get leading...get dominant...be an asshole. They want this, so they don't become repulsed. If not...they will seek out the man who will.

[–]alphabachelor23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

This.

Your frame should be treat her like she’s your little bratty clueless sister, female cousin, niece, etc.

[–]M_Hamza 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

I need someone to remind me of this EVERY SINGLE DAY

[–]handfulofnuts18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy

No, you don’t. Remind yourself. Don’t rely on other people to run your life for you.

[–]masterbaterchief27 points28 points  (1 child) | Copy

You almost let a women command you into removing your breeding capabilities. Think about that for a second. Major flaw.

[–]DiscipleBrown5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe he doesn’t want children seeing as he has no reproductive rights.

[–]ChemicalGiraffe11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

This isn't even trp specific but learn to say no. It will make your life easier.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (1 child) | Copy

The next time a girl asks you to do something, anything, like get her a glass of water or follow her instructions, first ignore her, then employ diversionary tactics, and then if she persists, smirk, look her in the eye and say "No". Then go back to what you're doing. Nothing gets the panties wetter than hearing the word no. Arguably haha the entire feminism movement is a response to men telling women they can't do something, and then women, not thinking it through, trying to prove that yes they can, omg, stop feet, pout, nag, cry.

Women are essentially children. They need boundaries established and fortified by them for men. Beta men treat pussy like it's magic and a scarce resource, so they are ready to do whatever for women, bend over backwards for women, because vagina, and maybe she'll sleep with me. Alpha men tell women no. It's like a trigger in their brain. They've almost never heard it before. They don't understand why. They're going to spend the next few weeks trying to figure it out, and in the process keep putting you on the pedestal, and from time to time shit testing you. Women want you to say no to them. It drives them insane.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K185 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

This...this all the fucking way.

[–]TominatorXX9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

A great response is: "Why would I do that?"

[–]1walawalawa28 points29 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yes, it's called shit-testing. Response strategies:

​

  1. Ignore
  2. Agree and Amplify
  3. Cocky/Funny response

I just had a girl I'm gaming who is shit testing me. I let her know I'm djing at some event I'm organizing:

Her: Is this a special event or something regular

Me: We'll see

Her: Because blah blah blah i'll support but I have other things to do otherwise blah blah blah

Me: I'm more fun

With masculinity in short-supply shit tests will become even more savage. Knowing this and how to calibrate is critical.

[–]Saulyboy0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Me: come, don't come, there will be plenty of good looking girls there to keep me entertained

[–]1walawalawa1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Too try-hard. That always has to be understood. Any girl's response to that line would be: "have fun".

My suggestion is cocky, funny and zero fucks given. This sounds butt hurt.

Be mindful of how you pass yourself off. Sounding hurt is a major turn off. Overdoing the "Chicks dig me" concept will back fire. Demonstrate, don't explicate.

[–]Saulyboy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It might sound that way if you say it that way

[–]drnaline23 points24 points  (0 children) | Copy

I chose to not reply, and next them. But if you wanna stick, if you like her, you should do a pressure flip "No, you take that "thing" "

Its mostly from girls who are whores and they got a job and a kardashian fantasy.

Put them in their place.

[–]UI_Riven19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

They don't want to be treated like moms when you tell them to cook clean and wash, but being a mom doesn't bother them when it's to boss you around. Just be the only master of your life man. Obey yourself.

[–]BusterVadge5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're a pushover. Read "When I Say No I feel Guilty". It's a great book on how to begin to build a stronger frame

[–]donkeydodo4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ask yourself what you want, don’t comply with other people just to please them; did you really want a vasectomy or was it the milf that wanted it for you?

[–]Coffeebob23 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think your nuts for getting a vasectomy because you were asked. You should really evaluate the choices you make by thinking through them a little longer.

[–]VojvodaSrpski2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Start saying no to everything, even if you genuinely agree until you get used to saying no to things you don't agree with.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

how would you handle a little girl trying that shit on you?

[–]17Loco1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Golden tip! Even with my mom I try this for laughs. Of course, I’m respectful with her and try to teach her, mostly on new technology. Just have fun not the other way around

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

that's the right mindset

[–]Kpwn884 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah, I have a comment. Stop being a faggot.

[–]Andorli3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy

An older milf pressured me to get a vasectomy done and I was really all for it.

How does this happen? How can an older milf "pressure" you?

Dude it is very simple...you don't have to overthink shit or state that you are not "naturally alpha"...wtf does that even mean?

The trick is, if you don't like something analyze it internally and if you come to conclusion that for any reason you are not comfortable with that, just say "NO", and keep saying no until the other person fucks off.

[–]wiffofass 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

Well the relationships always start off with me being a cocky cunt saying no, not being agreeable but when you start to like the girl you turn into a beta trying to find the right answer, say yes, please etc. I can't stop this process and I hate it. To be fair I really liked the vasectomy idea and wanted to get it done on my own before her mentioning it.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your want to have them attracted is fine...just realise the way you've been taught, is WRONG. Doing the same thing over, expecting a different result, is insanity.

'Don't tell me what to do' - best way to get laid, ever.

[–]kellykebab0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

To be fair I really liked the vasectomy idea and wanted to get it done on my own before her mentioning it.

So don't put it on her, then. You can't play the victim, but also defend yourself as having made up your own mind. Either you got manipulated or you didn't. You can't have it both ways.

The fact that she turned out not to be that interested is a separate issue.

[–]thrwy754790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is normal. There's a post on betafication here.

Think about what you're telling a girl when you're in a relationship with her. It tells her one of 2 things: 1) she's all you want, or 2) she's all you can get.

If it's (1), then it means you have other options but you chose her, and she will try to bring you down to her level to feel more secure. She'll say things like, don't go to the gym so often, stop hanging out with your friends so much, etc. thereby reducing your options. Ideally, this is the position you want to maintain.

If it's (2), she'll treat you like garbage because she sees you as beneath her. It's then that you either put up with her, and stay at the same level, or you improve, and become a better match for her. The key point here though is that you have to change for you, not for her. Otherwise, you'll be stuck proving yourself to her forever, and when she leaves, you're back to nihilism.

Note that the power dynamics can change over time. In either case, the girl is trying to create the changes to benefit herself. She wants assurance that she selected the best mate for herself. This is gained through testing.

Again, betafication is a normal process in any relationship you'll have with a woman, no matter how "alpha" you think you may be. No one escapes from this.

Women are designed to tear you down, but if you can see the light, they're also made to build you up to become your best self.

[–]Saulyboy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You can stop this process

[–]SwoleyMoleyFrijoley1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hold onto your NUTS. Nonnegotiable, Unalterable TermS. Have your boundaries and punish swiftly and fairly when they are crossed.

[–]Velebit3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is because you are fake cocky and are actually agreeable. Agreeable people naturally just feel happier when they please others. Your ability to stick to being cocky in begining is not intrinsic but it comes from desire to please as well.

Women sense that and try to folloa theie instincts and find out what is gking on. Another reason why yku lose their atracrion is due to yku just feeling weak for being agreeable instwad of owning it fully and simply filtering out womeb who are liekly to get throwb off by that.

[–]handfulofnuts1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I came in here thinking this was a thread about “Girls trying to act dominant/lead/tell you what to do,” but it wasn’t about that at all. It’s about how you’re a pussy.

Seriously. You almost got snipped because some old hairy fish wanted you to?

Look, my girlfriend actually does try to act dominant. That’s because she’s actually a badass. Sexy, wealthy (owns 3 companies), kickboxer. But when she steps over the line, I let her know and she backs down and turns cuddly and sweet. Most people who know her have a hard time believing she has a sweet side, but she’s extremely sweet to me because I know how to handle her.

And because I fuck her properly. She gets grumpy when she hasn’t had a tune-up in a few days.

But you’re not talking about that kind of situation. You’re just talking about girls being girls. You’ve got to learn how to handle that, or you’re in for a world of hurt.

Make yourself your own mental point of origin. That’s been said a lot around here, for a reason.

No More Mr. Nice Guy, When I Say No I Feel Guilty, and every episode of Black Phillip. Each of those, several times, until you’ve internalized them. The Book of Pook wouldn’t hurt, either.

[–]imtheoneimmortal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

They didn't get alpha lead so they try bad maybe?

[–]_do_not_read_this_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's the little things... An older milf pressured me to get a vasectomy

Anyone else see the incongruity of this statement?

You need to seriously withdraw from romantic relationships and recalibrate for now before you get hurt.

Your focus should be distinguishing between doing something for a woman that is a normal human interaction ("since you're in the kitchen can you bring me a cup of water when you get back?") and a shit test ("Hold my purse").

Seriously dude,

It's the little things... An older milf pressured me to get a vasectomy

​

[–]thrwy754790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I had a similar experience after hooking up with a chick.

It was at her place. After the deed, there wasn't much talk. I was putting my clothes on, and getting ready to leave, and she kept telling me where my stuff was: "Your shirt is over there.", "Your pants are over here."; pushing me to leave.

It was funny because I was leaving on my own accord anyway. Even if she didn't actually want me to stay, she definitely wanted me to want to stay. The fact that I didn't, annoyed her.

I think she was looking for some comfort, or she's used to guys grovelling to her. Whatever.

[–]StatusUnk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't let anyone pressure you into surgery. Whether your an alpha or not you have to be comfortable with your life. She can easily get sterilized too so don't do anything unless you want it.

[–]Saulyboy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You don't know what you want so you let her lead. Know what you're doing and what you want before the situation arises and then stick to it. You can Change your mind if YOU want but on your own terms

[–]randarrow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're better to get out of redpill jargon for this....

Let's assume they are normal, healthy people, then they would not do this badly. They would encourage people to do things they like, but nothing bad. Some people would be leaders who try to manage out of habit, but nothing bad.

Let's assume now they have personality disorders, like narcissism, codependency, dependence, BPD, BiPD etc.... a narcissist would encourage/badger/force people to change based on their ego. So, read the personality disorder descriptions and see if those apply, then see what work around there are for the issues.

[–]Zanford0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shit tests. This is basic shit testing.

In the two examples you gave, the girls were unusually candid about the fact that they were shit testing you.

The best natural defense against it is to be a man with a plan and actually know what you want to do. You should have a workout routine, and you should have thought about whether you want a vasectomy. Advice from a girl is just like advice from a guy...ignore the fact that you want to sleep with the advice giver, and consider the advice on its own merits. Reply with questions like 'and why is that exercise better than ___' ?

[–]iFunnyPrince0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

FUCK that. Seriously, I would NEVER pull that shit on a woman because I'm not a controlling psycho, and most women wouldn't put up with it. You shouldn't either. If you meet a controlling woman you should stay the hell away. I made the mistake of falling for one, sacrificing my way of life for her, and she ended up cheating on me and leaving me. I'm never making the same mistake again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The kids that bullied me in the 4th grade did the same thing to me. Think about that...

[–]Kratz1770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro, you should never let any woman pressure you to do anything.

If women are constantly pressuring you there must be something wrong that you are doing as opposed to them.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Tell her to shut up, take her clothes off, get on her back and spread her legs.



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