Working as a 40 year old host in Las Vegas the first thing you are taught is "No matter who the high roller is, make sure the wife's needs are taken care of." Why? Because in most west coast relationships the women are in charge of financial decisions. Most men in LTR's defer financial decision making to their wives. Some through years of routine and trust, some through years of loneliness and not wanting to experience it again. But the fact whether after 42 years with the same person, or 2 years with the same person is that the men in these relationships are beta males who have either lost their alpha status through comfort, or never were alphas to begin with. It doesn't matter if you make 15,000 or 100,000. The men have now deferred the frame of the relationship to the wife. In my line of work, only a few times have I approached a woman about a new event and she said,"I have to consult my husband." The woman in the relationship can be the difference between a 5 to 10 thousand dollar player and a meeting about my goals this month.

Now when people talk about alpha on this subreddit its either these two images:

A. 6'0 tall shrewed business man B. Convicted felon,asshole, or societal scumbag

There are many difference between the two but the main comparison in how alpha they are is that they both hold the frame of most of their interactions in life with BOTH men and women. People talk about holding frame with women when it comes to alpha, but no one talks about how well you hold your frame with other men.Preselection is not Alpha, physical attraction is not alpha (though it plays a big part), your success with women is not alpha, the only trait that makes you alpha is holding frame. As far as preselection, Drake is preselected by most women in the U.S., I don't know him personally, and for all I know he could be bodyslamming bitches through flaming tables for playing with him. But his music is beta, as he continually defers frame of the interactions in his music. I am 5'5 in charge of a ton of high level doctors, lawyers etc. etc. so of course I get shit tested in a many ways all the time. So why does the baacaurat dealer get the gina tingles for me in a big boy game? My ability to deflect all the shit tests, hold frame, and actually laugh at myself is the key. Another seldom talked about topic is that some instances its actually ok to defer to beta. For example if my ex girlfriend calls me and says "I just won the lottery, can you bring me to cash the ticket and take me to dinner to celebrate?" You think I'm going to say no find your own way? No I am going to defer to beta and bring her to cash that ticket. If you are trying to fuck a post-wall, still hot 30 something chances are she's burntout on extreme alpha and that will get you no where and lesser alpha is the way to go. I know what women ages 27 to 35 that are dating me at 5'5 are looking for thanks to the manosphere and I play the game accordingly. I just need to hold frame (alpha) and defer (beta) at key moments in the interactions. I follow the triple D's method to dates Divebars, Drink Specials, Dennys and will not budge in this instance I will hold frame to the end. Now in the interaction when a woman shit tests me about my interactions with kids. I will defer to beta and tell her of the wonderful interactions with my neices and nephews and paint a picture of a long term provider, showing her value in fucking me.

So wrapping things up I hope to show you that alpha is only relative to how you hold frame in interactions no more no less.