From my observations gathered here and online in the past years, when women/bloops read the claim that women like "asshole" men, they imagine in their heads a physically and mentally abusive guy. They then reasonably think that a) this is generally false and b) only true for damaged women. However, I want to bring attention to this popular post that made the front page the other day:

https://old.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/idvoiu/keep_it_classy_lads/

https://i.redd.it/7fq3ky10mci51.jpg

I don't want to have a discussion on why this man is "good" for rejecting a buzzed women's offer to get laid (although you are free to discuss it). I'd like to see the discussion more around the idea that there is a disconnect with what bloops are interpreting, and what I think many men are actually saying, and I think the linked OP is a great example of that. Like the replies to the linked OP above and the general attitude surrounding it, many men (myself included), in the past would've considered a man who slept with the woman an "asshole" at worst and "not good" at best. This general attitude extends into many areas where making a move or even accepting an offer makes a man "not good." Approaching a woman at work, at the gym, on the subway etc... is another grey area where women will complain about a guy not being "good" or even an "asshole."

Additionally, the attitude I have read from bloops is that women don't actually like "assholes," but hot guys and will generally excuse or overlook the 'asshole' aspects. However, from the post above, we can see that this is not necessarily the case. The man is good for rejecting her, but would be an asshole for accepting her offer. Although it remains the case that she is not necessarily attracted to 'asshole' traits, it still remains the case that the asshole gets laid, if accepting her offer.

I think this disconnect has become more apparent in recent years as attitudes towards sex have become more puritan. You become a "good guy" if you reject the offer of sex from a girl when you believe you know what is actually good for her. Aside from being ironically sexist that you know what is best for her, these attitudes, in many instances, have created a self-fulfilling prophecy that assholes get laid. In other words, in these scenarios, a man sleeping with the woman is considered an asshole, so the expectation or prediction of assholes getting laid becomes true.

Just a general discussion on linked OP and my attempt to discuss the disconnect between two sides.