Stats: 29yo, 70kg, 1m76, lifts regularly.
Reading: Sidebar twice, Almost all Rollo Tomassi's and Roosh V's books.
Finances: Freelance motion designer and digital artist, low income, no debt. I also love writing and already published a book (small print), this is something I wanna develop in the future.
Spiritual: Starting RCIA in September, I go to mass almost daily and/or read chapters of the Bible. I regularly pray Pater Noster and Ave Maria throughout the day, sometimes a full rosary.

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Hello everyone, sorry in advance for the poor writing as I'm not a native speaker. My interests in religions, spirituality and psychology started around 10 years ago, and I've been involved in new-age stuff, buddhism, psychedelics and so on, although not taking it really seriously. I discovered the Red Pill 3-4 years ago and it was obviously eye-opening to me. Applying all the basic principles, I started lifting and have been spinning plates quite successfully for the last two years. My notch-count is around 50.

On Easter this year, I had a spiritual experience, a very powerful revelation, as if God revealed itself to me. I was "saved" by Jesus you could say. I might add that this happened on a microdose of LSD, while reading a book about Christ. Since then, I've been very passionate about Christianity, and have been attending Mass regularly, in the prospect of becoming a Catholic.

However, at the moment of my conversion, I still had a few plates spinning, and I did see them again, and had sex with them. I didn't get in the process of getting new plates yet however. The last time I had sex was a month ago. Since then, most of my plates are away for holidays, and I see them breaking soon (one already have, because she found a boyfriend)

It seems to me that most people here have been raised in the Christian faith and discovered TRP afterwards, which is not my case, and I find that the advice hardly concern people who experienced it the other way around like me.

I have a hard time formulating questions because I have so many, but maybe you could redirect me somewhere, I don't know...

Basically, I still think that mariage is a horrible idea in this day and age, considering feminism, hypergamy, social media and all that jazz you already know about. For me, the idea of finding a good wife seems a variation of unicorn chasing and oneitis, two blue pill traps I know I could easily fall into as I did in the past. I fear this.

Moreover, I'm not really sure I actually want to get married, as I have a pretty good idea of what my mission is and being in a couple usually drives me away from my purpose as it takes so much time and energy. Please note that I am a very solitary person, who needs minimal social contact and gets drained out easily.

I think I'd like children eventually though, but honestly I don't see how that could work out with women today, I don't wanna divorce or become crazy. Plus I don't have the ressources at the moment to even consider it.

And how could I deserve a good Christian wife with a low n-count and such, if I myself have been a hardcore player in my youth? The worst thing is, I didn't fully repent for this as I kept sinning after my conversion, but frankly I wouldn't know how to manage my sex drive (you could say addiction...) otherwise, apart from porn which I despise even more than I did before I found the faith.

Any help appreciated, I would gladly give more details if asked. I hope I didn't break any rules.