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Confessions of a Reformed Incel: Newcomers, read: Why we're here.

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June 6, 2016

Post Information
Title Confessions of a Reformed Incel: Newcomers, read: Why we're here.
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 179
Comments 70
Date 06 June 2016 04:16 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/175026
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4mtr0b/confessions_of_a_reformed_incel_newcomers_read/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
incelthe red pill

[–]∞ Mod | RP Vanguardbsutansalt[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (0 children) | Copy

Attention new readers!

A guided tour of the sidebar made just for newbies like you.

A quick rebuttal of some of the arguments made against this community.

For those wondering what the hell is going on, a CMV thread mentioned us and then it got bestof'd.

[–]Endorsed Contributorredpillbanana48 points49 points  (1 child) | Copy

These two paragraphs: RP vs BP in a nutshell.

What i SHOULD have been told is “hit the gym, build some muscle, guys with muscles are hawt” – “get braces now, you’ll smile a lot and we love guys with big smiles” – “go see a dermatologist, we love sexy skin on a man” – “cut off your long hair, you don’t look like a rocker, you look like a hippy. crew cuts are sexy, you’d look good in one” – “learn a skill and become good in it. become confident in it. we love confidence”

What i got instead was a constant drumming of “you’re such a good guy, just wait, someone else is out there for you” – “you don’t have to change a thing, you’re a wonderful person, just keep being yourself” – “you don’t need muscles, only jerks care about having big muscles” – “there’s nothing wrong with you, you just need to be a bit more confident that’s all” – “confidence comes from the inside, not from the outside”

[–]luiee3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Solid summary. When you improve yourself, all aspects of your life improves.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (9 children) | Copy

Also, manipulated man for your end game...

getting out of incel is one thing, jumping into the plow horse role isn't an improvement

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[–]CQC30 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Been two years since I found TRP, I'd say I've internalized a lot of things pretty well. Would it still be worth it to read?

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I consider that book and her second one “The Polygamous Sex“ to be a mandatory read for every man.

Definitely worth the read, as Vilar's way of describing and drawing conclusions is so sharp it leaves you with an open mouth, that you weren't able to do it yourself.

You'll still have moments of epiphany reading them, although you've been here for some reasonable time.

[–]CQC30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

After I posted that I decided to take a glimpse at it and ended up reading about a third of it. It's so incredibly succinct and articulate. Unlike this sub, which is focused on sexual strategy, Vilar focuses more on women as being useless with the exception of egging men on, and men as slaves that don't want to be free, so they intrinsically tie themselves to women. I mean, we all fucking knew it, but for her to put it the way she does makes the concept a lot more cohesive and less emotional but rather more like understanding machinery.

Just goes to show you can never know enough.

If we look at MGTOW in that context, we can observe how society will not let that happen so easily. Funny how all a man has to do is withdraw his time and commitment from a woman and that is his power, and likewise if he does the same to society, then it is just the same result but on a greater scale.

[–]1aguy010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Read the first chapter at least, she has a way with words that gets the points across in an usually clear manner.

[–]dates_only_chinese0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Especially for the time it was written in. Back then there was no infinite access to information, and what she described was the grand scheme of male slavery and the behind-closed-doors reality of millions of people worldwide. She was harassed and eventually severely physically assaulted by German feminist militias and had to flee to south America.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everybody should re-read this once a year to remind himself of the long way he has come since finding this place.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t see equality around me. I see a fem-centric society that is forgetting the fact that men are HUMAN and respond emotionally to their environment and reality.

If we are going to teach our boys not to rape, we also need to teach our girls to treat men with respect. You have to give it to get it. To women I say this: Stop being so fucking “nice” about rejection. You’re not saving them from the despair of feeling inadequate, you’re distracting them from the reality that they have the choice to better themselves to succeed in life, and subsequently find that women are, in fact, attracted to them for that confidence.

[–]ShekelBanker8 points9 points  (29 children) | Copy

The fact that I drew a lot of parallels with my life is scary as fuck. I am also going through a dry spell, one reason being I'm still affected by the death of my girlfriend, yes, even <2 years after it happened, but I also let myself slip into not giving a shit about myself. I personally did advance life-wise in breaking a cycle by moving into another country, but the job is a complete time-sucker which barely allows me time for myself, not to mention closest gym to my house and job (need the proximity because I have to be available at all times) costs a bomb (yeah, I make money, but not that much to dump 1/4 of my salary on a monthly gym pass).

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[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

This reminds me of Fight Club.

[–]ShekelBanker0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy

Look, I would be able to say fuck it to everything and actually dump 1/4 of my salary on a gym pass, but the job, time-wise, barely allows me to. Only way I could get this to work is to find something close to where I'm operating with work, and that means, sadly, going to THE most expensive gym brand in the city and the country; the sort of gym that charges you in euros even if you live in a damn country that doesn't use euros. If I'd go the cheap way I'd have to risk in taking longer to show up to work.

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[–]ShitSandwichOfficial11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Glad I have your vote in 2016!

[–]Endorsed ContributorDownvoteToDisagree4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

If your only option for the gym is that expensive, buy a set of adjustable dumbbells to use at home for $100.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Buy a kettlebell, probably 16kg to start. That one investment saves you a couple of years gym fees. Or Buy a copy of You Are Your Own Gym (paperback or ebook), or the ipad app of same, or a copy of Convict Conditioning. You can do it with no equipment at all.

[–]1aguy011 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don't need to go to a gym, you're lying to yourself. There are amazing bodyweight routines for packing on mass, and you can achieve an exceptionally aesthetic physique without touching a weight when you apply the basic principles of hypertrophy to the movements

[–]LaRedPill-3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I work 9 to 18 (1 hour lunch in between), then classes 19 to 23. I still work out, instead of lunch, then I grab something quick to eat.

And I also have a girlfriend.


[–]ShekelBanker0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Was it an invite to express who is more screwed over? Fine.

8-22 work every day (no, weekends are not free) and sometimes even late in the night, things like 2-4am are not uncommon (happened twice since I wrote this post)

[–]LaRedPill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

so you work 100 hours a week? Then you are a billonaire or something.

[–]ShekelBanker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, I work in tourism. It was the only job in sight that didn't require wrestling with the utterly corrupt and idiotic government to get me equivalency for my degrees and diplomas, plus I parted ways for good with a manager, first time I came in this country, because his behaviour was similar to what secret police would do, along with other inferiority complexes he felt like giving me shit for, like I cared about it.

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[–]ShekelBanker0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is not such a bad idea tbh

[–]DeucesCracked2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's completely normal to be affected by the death of a loved one for your entire life. It's not necessarily something you get over quickly or completely. The key is to accept the grief, and accept that life continues as well. There are good and bad times ahead. How you deal with this will in part determine how you deal with that - habits are formed by actions.

As far as exercise is concerned, you don't need a gym. You need a routine (remember, habit?) and discipline. But you don't necessarily need to lift to be attractive to the opposite sex. Generally speaking if all you're interested in is dominating / fucking a female it'll be pretty apparent to them. The kind of girl you'll get with that attitude is exactly the kind you don't want - the kind that is also only interested in sex or an adversarial relationship.

Yeah, it tends to be fit, tidy and superficially charming guys who get laid from the club or bar. And it tends to be guys who know how to make friends and be partners who get satisfying, fulfilling relationships with tons of booty.

Genuinely: If all your self worth is in your wallet and biceps, what else will a woman look at in you? There's a reason they love guitar playing, painting, yoga-ing sensitive types.

That said, physical fitness is a boon to a person. 50 pushups in the morning, 50 at night, jog a mile or two a day and you'll see great results. Source: I am a veteran.

[–]qiang_shi1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

You only make 56$ a month? What the actual fuck?

[–]ShekelBanker5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

No, I make $625, and that is great for a single person in Romania. Main issue is rent (fuck living in the capital for this).

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[–]ShekelBanker0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Didn't feel like ignoring your post, thanks for the thought. Sent you a pm in case you are interested in the story.

[–]reecewagner0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy


You don't make 40 bucks a month bud

[–]ShekelBanker1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Mate, I don't live in the US either. I live in Romania, having before lived in the UK then the UAE, expensive af gyms seem to be a curse that has been following me for a while, especially because back in the UAE, with the amount of traveling I've done, only Gold's Gym would make sense, and that shit via pulling some strings with Etihad turned out to be over $1k per year.

[–]reecewagner0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Unreal. I can't rationalize paying over $50 a month for a gym.

[–]ShekelBanker1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Welcome to my world, if only earnings could keep up with how expensive shit around me is...

[–]NaughtyFred1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This was the first thing I read when I stumbled upon trp in late 2014. I saw so many parallels between his confessions and my own life that I knew trp was true. Hence I stayed.

Haven't had my life reach a similar climax to Confessions yet, but I'm working on it and things are getting better.

[–]Trail_of_Jeers1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"In fact, you could call this my own personal rape. I’m sure women will be up in arms for me calling it that, but what is the criteria for it? I feel shame. I am unable to talk about it with others. I will invariably be blamed for the outcome i suffered because of the way I acted. Being beta was ‘wearing a miniskirt’. Acting like a NiceGuy was ‘being overly flirtatious’. Respecting women and pedestalizing them was going up to a guys room at 2am for a late night coffee.

I deserved it for being unattractive. You deserved it for being too attractive. We both got fucked and not in the way we wanted it.

You had no power and had violation inflicted upon you. I had no power or right to feel like a human being inflicted upon me.

You were penetrated against your will. Feminism and woman bent me over and fucked me up the ass while laughing at me.

We both wanted death.

Yet i was a source of ridicule, you are the poster child of Slutwalk.

And so it is."


[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy

Oh that was painful, I gave up around the pic with the revolver and alcohol and even then I was skimming. Jesus Fucking Christ man, why weren't you trying to bang trim all the time like any health young man.

Even when i ballooned up to 275 lbs at 5'9" (granted a lot of it was muscle but I still had a size 42 waist) I was still making initial cold approaches on women and getting success. Yeah you will face a ton of rejection but you will never have a shot at success unless you take the shot.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, that's kind of the point of his text. He didn't approach or cold approach or treat women in a sexual manner because after a lifetime of feminist indoctrination, he sincerely thought he shouldn't do that. Both because he mustn't do it and because he was convinced it wouldn't work (or if it did, it would only net him sub-par women).

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy

Same here. I stopped reading at the gun pic. The author takes things too far. I wouldn't touch a stripper with a ten foot cattle prod. A guy doesn't have to go full triad or whatever the hell his dumbass urban trendy term.

Going to a strip joint is stupid. What's the point? Its like going to a bakery, paying triple for a stack of doughnuts but not being able to eat them. You want to see naked girls? What is this, junior high?

When it comes to dating I'll take the Mercedes-benz approach:

The best or nothing at all

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

The best or nothing at all

More like the best you think you can get, eh?

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

No. The best. Period. Educated, healthy, decent looking. Non-whores are out there.

and I still hate single moms.

[–]Chino-scarface0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'll just say that not all strip clubs are made equal. I've been to a few different clubs at this point and I've slept with multiple dancers (for free) so I think I'm qualified to make that assessment.

I wouldn't date or marry a church girl so I think it goes without saying that I wouldn't commit to a stripper. But if she's sexy I don't see why I shouldn't use her as a masturbation aid.

Personally when it comes to dating I prefer the shotgun approach:

Bang as much as possible within a reasonable range.

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, but the question remains... were they "full triad?" Or just 75%?

[–]LaRedPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Y acá la tienen en español por si les cuesta el ingles

[–]of_mendez0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you me from the future, It sounds exactly like me, except it has been 7 years not 12

Thanks thanks thanks for finding the will to write, you are inspiration in the flesh

[–]gizmozed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I thought it took me a long time to get over the anger.

This dude needs years of therapy, and he needs to take SOME of the responsibility for his utter failure at getting laid. Own his shit as it were.

[–]1Your_Coke_Dealer0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

This guy's article reads like he's never left the anger phase.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

He hasn't. He's mentioned that numerous times. 12 years of depression leaves some deep scars, apparently.

[–]CQC37 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Depends on the person, my story isn't dissimilar to his, but I suppose my ego and pride kept me alive. My incel status went on longer than his too. He lost his virginity at 17, meanwhile it was a lot longer before I got out of my own self limiting cerebral hell. Knowing what sex is like and then going dry is a lot better than not knowing at all for so long. There's only two types of incels, those who try and cant succeed. And those who self sabotage due to some erroneous belief.

[–]Endorsed Contributorvandaalen3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You phrase it like it was something bad.

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's not a phase.

[–]ShekelBanker1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Like based mod said, it's not a phase. Anger "phase" is something that starts being more apparent in you and it dies down with time, but it never truly disappears, hence you can't call it a phase. It's more of a state that goes dormant over time.

[–]1Your_Coke_Dealer0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Makes sense to me. I guess it's just been a while since I decided to stop caring what was done in the past and learn to love the sluts

[–]18fbraggSUCKSa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel like my job in the military (although, i admit, it's pretty high speed, a la nighttime helo insertion with the 160 SOAR, HALO jumps, multiple languages spoken, FID/DA/CT/narco ops, etc..., relates to this article. When I hear others in non combat roles talk about PTSD, I wanna strangle them... I enlisted in SF at 22 (18x), 27 now, and I have seen combat at least 5-25 times year, somtimes in countries like Colombia, Peru, Uruguay, etc.. WTF am I doing? Just get me a CIA desk job with my ability to speak 4 languages, my 120 pushups and 101 sit ups in 2 min, and my BS in Mathematics from Penn. Gunfights to mil life are like incel life in the dating world

just like an incel, my problems are 100 percent my fault

[–]qiang_shi0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I can't help but feel that 150 odd dollars with some creative scavenging, you'd come up with an adequate home gym

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It's about $800 to build a fully functioning Power Rack with a bench and have them powder-coated. (This includes Dip bars, and pull up-bar.) Made from 3" square tube. This is incl. the purchase of a Olympic barbell set with 4 Plates, 2 half plates, and a set of all the incremental plates.

You can see it as a fun project to get you in the mood to really fucking train hard. Get some buddies to help if you don't have tools. Someone you know always has tools. Or look for a mom and pop metal shop. Manufacturing stuff even if you don't do the welding and cutting and the drilling yourself is a great way to improve your social skills, because you have an end goal in mind. Have a plan ready before you start though.

It's Double gainz if you become a god on your own creation.

EDIT: An inadequate home gym with bullshit equipment, might get you started. But it is frustrating and a hassle, and you will VERY soon outgrow them without seeing any real gains (I'm talking about a days, not even months.) Olympic barbell is a priceless piece of equipment. Those bullshit threaded barbells with the nuts and and the plates with tiny holes you get from sporting good stores are a waste of money, I started with those and they are so bad that I sold them for scrap... Do calisthenics or go to a gym if you don't have the cash for proper equipment.

[–]Horus_Krishna_2[🍰] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

reading the story makes little sense, he was incel but had a wife?

[–]Modredpillschool[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

he was incel but had a wife?

Yes, you got it.

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[–]Horus_Krishna_2[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

really poorly written. unfortunate. good message.

[–]Trustedflipper8-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

The second he mentioned that he had lost his virginity at 17 is the second I stopped reading the article. I am from r9k/ and I will say that redpills are just wannabe robots. You have actually HAD sex. Robots on the other hand have never felt the touch of a woman at all ! I'm 20 and would have killed to loose my virginity at 17 (highschool age) but I have been denied the touch of another human being. You sir are a fucking fraud.

[–]blackwolfrain0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

So the next 12 sexless years of his life are null and void now?

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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