I feel like some of my friends who are in relationships become really boring and lose their individuality

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January 21, 2019

This pretty much happens to guys that choose to cut off contact with their bros to spend extra time with their girl. Theres a good portion of guys i know who choose to put their girl first almost always. They grow so dependent on their relationship that they lose themselves and arent even their own person anymore. They just become boring.

Its like the relationship is its own person, not too separate individuals. The bros i have who havent turned into this usually spend a considerate portion of time with their bros or by themselves.

Im about to turn 21 soon. And ive never actually been in a serious or ltr. So maybe im wrong and this is common. But i refuse to let myself reach this point.

Post Information
Title I feel like some of my friends who are in relationships become really boring and lose their individuality
Author QuantumSpecter
Upvotes 182
Comments 62
Date 21 January 2019 09:59 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/175274
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/aifiz3/i_feel_like_some_of_my_friends_who_are_in/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
long term relationship

[–]cat_magnet58 points59 points  (0 children) | Copy

The thing is, women lose respect for a man that does this. As much as she says she wants it, she will lose her attraction for him. Either monkey branch or just treat him like a bag of shit. She was attracted to you for who you are, you cannot change in an LTR as much as she will push you too. Be prepared to walk.

[–][deleted] 153 points154 points  (27 children) | Copy

This is the large majority of men. Blue pilled as fuck. Stay red pill and make red pill friends.

[–]_Legendairy_ 1 points [recovered]  (24 children) | Copy

Do you know of a good way to meet red pill people? So far, the only place I’ve really met (semi) red pill people is at the gym, but I’d be interested in meeting more like minded people

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points  (18 children) | Copy

Just find physically, mentally and creatively formidable people.

I don't friend;

- Men who I could beat up 5 clones of them at the same time.

- Men I could make cry by just being honest with them about how pathetic they are.

- Men who look dead inside.

- Men who are so dumb they are proud of it.

- Men who jump on feeling bandwagons

- Men that need orders all the time

- Men that live with there mums when ever something goes bad

- Men that complain about how hard life is in the West.

Obviously I have friends that are weak but will always hit up my great friends first.

I think there is a pretty natural gravitational pull towards other tough men. Sort of like how beautiful women rarely hang around too many hags because their world view is just skewed by resentment making communication between beautiful and ugly nigh impossible.


Probably skip the shit I wrote and just read Nietzsche - On Passing By


[–]kcxvi63 points64 points  (3 children) | Copy

You seem fun.

[–]Rosace_8919 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't friend;

  • Men who I could beat up 5 clones of them at the same time.

this made me laugh at least

[–]KingRead3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I wouldn't mind a friend like him, I always admire guys working harder than me.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gave you an upvote to combat those downvotes! Brothers in arms! aha apparently people like to surround themselves with toxics.

You need to be ruthless with friends, collaboration is how you achieve great things in life.

[–]GGrub88 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

A very common red flag is when guys often talk about how handsome and amazing they were in the past but it's obvious they're not anymore.

If you befriend them, as soon as they realize you're improving over the years while they're walking in the opposite direction you can expect all kinds of negative shit from them.

[–]Camp_KillYourself1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Most men as they age were more handsome when they were younger...even Leonardo dicaprio doesn’t look as good in his titanic years

But yes, any man that’s overly obsessed with physical appearance and can’t accept aging as a man then — don’t associate with them, living in the past.

[–]GGrub87 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think I should clarify: I'm talking about people who have let themselves go (stopped lifting, got fat, stopped practicing their hobbies/sports for reasons unrelated to their health, got overall lazy etc.).

Nobody can escape aging but unlike women who hit the wall at around 30, we men have the ability to keep an attractive appearance and personality even in our 50's and possibly 60's as long as we play our cards intelligently in our youth.

If you Google pics of successful and attractive 50/60 y.o. men it's not hard to imagine they can easily bed HB8+ chicks in their 20's.

It's not a coincidence most of them are single because this allowed them to spend their resources (money and time) on themselves and now they reap the benefits.

[–]Camp_KillYourself0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That makes more sense!

[–]mineralranch1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Damn, so true. I worked with a 26-year-old guy who got married young. The women he married already had a child from her first marriage and he also knocked her up three more times like a moron. He would always talk about how he was the shit before he was married: he was fucking mad girls, had a great body, had a Mustang, etc. Apparently, he was always cool and just happened to turn into a fat loser that everyone hated after he got married.

Anyways, he would always shit on people who were trying to improve themselves in any way. If he was on one of his semiannual gym binges, he would shit on anyone who wasn't also working out. This guy was the most resentful and pathetic person I've ever met.

later on, I found out a few women reported him for sexual harassment because he would flirt with every girl at work. He's a real smooth guy.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Blue pill men need love too, even though they can be irritating af sometimes. Some are not beyond hope.

[–]CodyCodeine-4 points-3 points  (7 children) | Copy

You're a shitty human being

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

Which parts annoy you mostly?

[–]CodyCodeine-4 points-3 points  (4 children) | Copy

You're extremely judgemental and you have an overinflated ego

[–]theherosmyth11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

So what if he’s judgmental? Is that not politically correct? Who cares. The people you surround yourself with have a great effect on who you become. Can’t blame a man for being particular about who he wants to hang out with.

[–]CodyCodeine-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Who you become is an internal thing. If you let lower friends influence you so heavily, you're weak minded

[–]Sea_Letterbox2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

LMAO. If anything, not having a set and rational criteria for judging people would be bad.

Weakness stems from naivety and ignorance.

If you have no rules to recognize what is around you, and therefore how things will evolve with time, you are essentially setting yourself up for destruction.

[–]CodyCodeine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Or you could just control your internal life separately via meditation

[–]FKaroundNfindOUT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]imtheoneimmortal1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Why you need others? You seem so needy to find red pill people

[–]DayGameChirality3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Last time I checked majority of humanity were social creatures

If something changed, please let us know

[–]imtheoneimmortal-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why red people? If you want mentor then find and pay him

[–]DayGameChirality1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why pay people when you can share motivation with your friends? Mentor each other on things you excel in or had experiences with.

[–]GGrub87 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Even more shocking is how quickly some of them drop their "passions" the instant they get locked down by some generic HB4-6 chick.

You know, the very same passions that allowed us to become friends in the first place.

It really feels like our friendship was founded on lies and it's really disappointing when that happens.

[–]flatox1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's men who adapt to the frame of the woman. Betas, AKA pussies.

[–]TheStumblingWolf30 points31 points  (2 children) | Copy

In the Deep sea there's something called an angler fish. The female is very large and when she mates it's done by the male attaching himself to her permanently. Most of his body disintegrates but his sperm (resources) stays available for her on demand.

I feel like this is a good metaphor for what happens.

[–]xrKles6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Thats pretty cool actually. Amuzing video about it: https://youtu.be/Z-BbpaNXbxg

[–]eccentricrealist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I still wonder how the hell that came to be

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev49 points50 points  (0 children) | Copy

This just in: BetaFags worship pussy.

[–]Zanford31 points32 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is true. And the women can sense this too (and often they are angling for it and doing what they can to socially isolate him). Also the men who let this happen will be the most crushed when dumped (and prob most likely to be dumped too)

[–]finally_a_free_man33 points34 points  (2 children) | Copy

It happened to me. I have a close friend who is naturally pretty red pill minded and he used to always hate it when I would talk about my LTR problems, any lovey dovey shit about my ex, and shit like that. I finally ended a 7 year relationship lately and got my glow back after about a month of being single and needless to say, our friendship dynamic has vastly improved. He told me straight up "Bro, this is the ____ that I used to know. The guy with the dope music, super into dancing (my passion), always dressing on point, and moving with purpose. You're gotten back all the qualities that made me friends with you in the first place."

[–]MrAnderzon12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

She was your succubus

[–]manbearpiglord8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

“PussyWhipped” is the official term

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K185 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ugh. Yeah, this is sad. I think some people get comfortable, and believe life really is just about the relationship. Once they have it, they stop trying. Or they have validation, so stop pushing themselves. Who knows?

Why mission is SSSOOO important. You gotta have something that drives you. Something that makes you keep improving, and ambitious. Something where you can keep setting new goals, and.not become complacent.

And I know that NOTHING is for certain in this world, and anything can happen with that girl, so you best stay on your feet and pushing forward.

They are living in a blue pill world. Risk is, once that relationship ends, they will be lost on what to do without the red pill

[–]ghosts_of_me4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Some do some dont. Got a few close friends who are more like power couples than subdued human fusions.

[–]wmap993 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

My dad told me that women ruin social dynamics amongst males, I was 15 back then.

[–]gbnz872 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

It pretty much happens to everyone. As the guy you prefer to spend time with the girl rather than going out to bars and crap with friends. Until you actually make a connection with someone its quite difficult to understand. Everyone here will talk tough but when you have the choice of cuddling on the couch or standing in a nightclub all night one option is usually a lot more enjoyable. You just need to find a balance between seeing your friends and your girl if you choose a LTR.

Also constantly watch out if your girl doesnt want to see your friends or she doesnt want you to see your friends get away as quick as you can.

[–]LukeVTruth0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is so true and exactly what happened to me with my first LTR. I'm on my second now (been dating for 8 months) and even after swallowing, sometimes slip into that mindset. I'm just glad that now having internalized the pill I'm able to catch myself and recognize that not keeping those connections with my best male friends is going to make not only my general happiness suffer but my relationship with her as well.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This pretty much happens to guys that choose to cut off contact with their bros to spend extra time with their girl.

This is most men. Sadly yes, it's very common. Like 99% common.

But i refuse to let myself reach this point.


Stay free, stay happy.

[–]LasTitan2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actually i need help too my friends are totally blue pilled and never accept red pill. I try to teach them but they are not agree with me cuz i'm not PUA ( like 6 months i think about something more important for me .) what should i do i am 17

[–]AuberyBitoni2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm 21 myself, never been in a serious LTR either and a lot of friends became pussywhipped in my group of friends.

My best friend was the coolest guy who I knew. But he started dating his ex again and started flaking on his friends for his girlfriend. Everyone cut him off. I warned him about the girl, she was studying for 4 months in France. I knew she would cheat on him and she did. He came crawling back, no one respected him anymore. But I gave him a second chance. He's his old self again and I love it. He definitely learned from his mistakes.

Second friend was someone who always laughed about others being pussywhipped. But he met a girl, started dating her after 1 week of knowing her and they have been together for a couple of months now. He's with his girl 24/7. Is practically living together with her and she's like 19, he's 23 lol.

Third friend is one of my best friends. Has been dating his gf for 7 years and had a healthy balance between his bro's and gf. He has the best relationship I've ever seen and does whatever he wants. He is genuinely happy and that's how a LTR should be.

Some guys, like you and me, never had a serious LTR, we can't really have an opinion on it I guess. But I'm sure we wouldn't lose our individuality. Some guys need to hit their head against the wall and fuck up. Love makes blind and it's pathetic when someone becomes boring because of a LTR. The relationship is doomed to fail. Always stay true to yourself.

[–]masterduelistky6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is what caused my ex to leave me. I totally smothered her, because of long distance and things happening in my personal life. I can’t blame her the way I was acting, but I did it because I really loved her. It sucks that’s the way it goes sometimes.

[–]good-look6 points7 points  (10 children) | Copy

im 28 n never been in love...maybe in hs but that shits gay...just lift weights n everything takes care of itself nigga

[–]IWantAllYourMoney 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

You're 28 and still write this way?

[–]good-look1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]FKaroundNfindOUT0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

im 28.


just lift weights n everything takes care of itself nigga


[–]good-look-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

what makes u doubt, beta

[–]showerdudes9 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Dats right put that beta faggot in his place he prolly dont even lift

[–]serve_my_goddess2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This 100

[–]FKaroundNfindOUT0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

^ ^ ^

[–]good-look0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy


[–]FKaroundNfindOUT0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sometimes. Other times I push.

[–]TheDonCap1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Literally my best friend

[–]Razzoz61 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Is there any point in talking to those friends about that issue? Have a close friend of mine and he is exactly like that. He got dumped by a girl for THAT reason, they just hanged out at home and smoked weed together.

She broke up, I introduced him to the gym and he acted more red pilled - but he got into another LTR soon and started clinging to the pussy again.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Blue pill is as blue pill does.

I don't see a question. We all relate.

[–]Melanoma_man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Make new friends and more networks. I had a problem where most of friends were settled down and some with whales. I had to meet new friends.

One group an early 20s crowd the other mid to late 20s and a good source of pussy.

I’m 33 but look around 26.

[–]rp26260 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

When guys are young they tend to do everything they can to seem interesting and stand out to women. Then they get into a long term relationship and they stop trying. They eat bad. They put less effort into their image. They stop going out. I'm guilty of this myself.

You've got to stay the charismatic guy you sell them in the first place or they will get tired of you. All women will.

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is what happened to my best friend... how can I tell him this without pissing him off?

[–]QuantumSpecter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I dont know if you should necessarily tell him this. If anything, just try to make sure the guy gets some quality time with his bros. Or else hes gonna wanna spend every waking minute being his girlfriends bitch

Thats my personal opinion

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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