I had a panic attack today and walked out of work, I'm so fucking lonely, and I am doing everything everyone says.

Yaboydotcom · 2016-02-29T05:39:58+00:00

It's ok man. You've got a lot of people here to shoot the shit with.

Have you done consistent talk therapy?

GunPostal · 2016-02-29T05:56:05+00:00

Go hire an escort. Do it asap. There is no shame in that because your needs are important and social taboos about it should not stop you because it's your happiness what's in stake here even if it's temporary, not someone's selfish opinion.

Do that because you need to quickly release this negative energy that is stuck in you that is causing your breakdown. I know because I also had this panic attack when someone really close to me made me really upset. And I held that upset for months until it finally exploded.

It was a good thing I was with an understanding friend when it happened and comforted me.

If you get this panic attack again, do this:

Breathe in your nose and exhale to your mouth REALLY FAST. You will hyperventilate and will calm yourself.

More ways to get your negativity handled:

Google EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques

Jog, sprint, bike, play basketball

Google "The Venus Project" and see the interview about love and extensionality.

youtube.com/watch?v=FUtTKgKUWGU

The reason why perhaps you get the I got a boyfriend response is you might be projecting the needy vibe.

I solved this problem which also got rid of my social and approach anxiety by taking rsd's hot seat at home. It's pricey but it works because it taught me the core principles of being the fun guy that all women want and the funny thing is it's so easy to do.

TempAnonAcct · 2016-02-29T06:20:55+00:00

Bruh, you are in an extreme mixture of anger phase + being alone. Let me at least fill you in on my experiences.

I spent two whole years in the anger phase. And before TRP I was actually already redpill. I already knew most of the stuff that blows peoples minds here and I still was angry for two years. Unplugging is rough.

Just like you, during this time frame, I didn't have a single person to talk to. From where I am sitting it sounds to me like you just need some real buddies that you can chill with and shoot the shit with. Human connection. Make some friends.. it's tough but being completely isolated will drive you insane.

One thing you have to remember is that emotions are great at telling you that something IS wrong, but terrible at telling you HOW to fix it.

Use your anger to realize that you need to change something, then sit down and figure out what is wrong and then make a plan to fix it.

Also, having braces in your mouth is probably fucking with you more than you realize. You literally have a contraption in your mouth that is constantly tugging at your teeth and breaking and reshaping bones. That's a source of stress right there. When they come off you'll be less stressed overall.

Also, the fact that you said you are skinny leaves room for the idea that maybe you aren't eating well. Eat more food you will feel better.

dname17 · 2016-02-29T21:19:15+00:00

I got a dog. Now I understand why they say "Dogs are a man's best friend."

CircleOfO · 2016-02-29T23:20:17+00:00

I am in the same boat. Completely.

I have really no friends, nobody at my job really talks or engages in any sort of banter, tinder and okcupid are a bust, girls I manage to talk to in real life seem chatty enough but back off completely when I even try to engage any sort of, how TRP calls it, kino... Half the time I wonder if this place is just full of kids talking shit.

I'm fully convinced that I'm just one of those guys who never will get laid unless it's by extremely unattractive women who I have to settle for. And I just never seem to be in a place with blokes where it goes past anything but a cursory polite 2 minute conversation.

Leaving sex out of the equation I don't think I've had a full proper conversation with someone outside of work for more than five minutes in years. It gets incredibly lonely.

I don't miss my ex, but I just miss someone to talk to even if I don't get on with them.

And yep, like you I'm doing all the mandated self improvement stuff. But who cares, nobody is around to even share those experiences with. It's all well and good to "be your own man" but if half the people who say it are living with friends, parents, girlfriends or whatever, it's empty. Unless you come home to an empty house every day and check your phone to see no messages and email inboxes full of the odd bit of spam, you can't know.

I have yet to see anything anywhere, TRP or otherwise, that really spells out where the fuck you meet anyone to form any sort of lasting friendships with. I mean, I found it easy to make friends when I was 22, but now I'm 33, it's like I'm a ghost.

To give a background, my sexless relationship ended when my supposedly LL partner spent six months fucking my best friend. Of course, I lost both girl and friend group in one hit. And in the past 20 months or so, I just haven't bounced back at all. I moved area, I moved job, I moved my entire self and I think I just put myself into a box in the bottom of some basement somewhere. To put it another way, my neighbors up until four months ago thought my house was empty!

Apanthropos · 2016-02-29T09:30:49+00:00

Stop jerking off. You are releasing high levels of oxitocin in your brain which makes it difficult for you to focus on your goals. You will need at least a week for your brain to find its original balance.

You are messing up your T levels and induce yourself with a substance which is used by your brain to reward you for bonding.

This causes your aggression to plummet, and your self doubt to rise up. This is the last thing you want to do at this point in your life.

You need your aggression and anger to get out in the world and start fucking everyone up.

[deleted] · 2016-02-29T15:30:09+00:00

Reddit is great. Know there's another lonely motherfucker out here trying to cope every day, just like you. I'm dealing with the exact same shit. I became disabled and had to stay at home with our kid for the last 4 years. My car is at my (ex) wife's dads, and has been since my injury, no friends close enough by, just bought a house in July and split early Feb, good times...

FrameWalker · 2016-02-29T14:08:21+00:00

I can remember a very difficult first 4 months on TRP. Continual rejection and bitter biting anger. Yeah it sucks but you learn to embrace it.

There are many things on here for you to still learn. The most important is stoicisim. Remember, everything is temporary, local, and internal. What I mean is that most of what you're experiencing will soon be over, the problem you're experiencing isn't global, and the bad feelings are largely in your own head (good ones). Make a habit out of withholding an emotional response to the transient world around you. Instead build a logical action plan. It's always okay to feel whatever your body is feeling. Listen to it, it'll help. However don't act on the feeling. Act on logic.

Regarding your wife you had your turn, now it's over. If it makes you feel better you got the best years of her life. She'll be old and unattractive soon enough.

y just want a friend.

You could try getting a dog. Also build up a crew of male friends. A solid guy is worth his weight in gold.

RP_Ese · 2016-02-29T06:07:46+00:00

24 yo here. Sounds like my life 08 years ago.

The only thing I can tell you is that, the moment you touch bottom, it gets better.

Keep up all that you ate doing to improve your life.

Unfortunately we are wired, mainly due to social media, for instant gratification.

MrRIP · 2016-02-29T13:44:04+00:00

You need closure. Your anger stems from your divorce. You need to find a way to be at peace with what happened there.

When was the last time you talked to her? What happened in your therapy sessions? Are you blaming yourself for everything that went wrong?

You have a lot of pain that you need to release before everything starts clicking. I know this sounds like some mystical bullshit but there is something you need to be you. It took me a long time to realize that things happen for a reason. If something your life isn't going the way you want it to, there's something you could be doing to change the outcome.

Don't just fester in anger and pain and do nothing but build on it that's not healthy man

RPmatrix · 2016-02-29T15:30:50+00:00

Bro, I am deadly serious here

I am still skinny but working on it

I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years

Magnesium supplements, about 6-800mgs per day. You will notice it will stop the rage you're feeling in about an hour

Most people are deficient in Mg, our diets just don't have enough in it. The RDI is ~450mgs and most people are lucky to get 150mgs pd in their diets unless they eat lots of seafood and offal.

Trust me, it will be the best $10 you ever spent. That's all you have to 'lose' too and you've got everything to gain

I wish I had known about this 30yrs ago

I've shared this with about a dozen people with 100% of the ones who tried it noticing a significant difference

thank me later :D

machimus · 2016-02-29T19:57:23+00:00

Bummer dude.

My wife dumped me about a year ago, I am 26. I haven't gotten laid or made any friends or had any human fucking connection in an entire year. I'm not ugly and I am not socially retarded, I am just fucking angry at everything.

Yeah, no shit! You should realize that not getting laid after being emotionally traumatized is pretty normal. It's like you ran off a ledge and broke both your legs, and now you're wondering why you haven't been running much since then...? Because your legs are fucking broken! It takes time to heal them, and once they're healed it takes even more time to rehab them and get them as strong as they used to be. It's exactly like that. You need time to recover emotionally and then you need practice to get proficient again. Beating yourself up because you haven't had success yet is too harsh, you are reacting very normally to an abnormal situation. Don't judge yourself a loser for not running fast when your legs are fucking broken. Just admit to yourself you're injured and expect it to take awhile.

I am fucking bitter, I'll keep at it, my self worth is apparently still tied up in validation I get from other people, but I actually just want a friend. I am just craving someone to be warm to me, to talk to something meaningful about, I want some sort of affectionate touch that isn't just my cat.

Well at least your diagnostics are working. Your self awareness is above average, most guys would just be angry without knowing exactly why. I think you're right that an escort is a bad move, you'd know it was fake and didn't mean anything which might even make you feel worse.

I want you to try something for me, it's going to sound strange: Try letting yourself be okay with being a loser, just temporarily. Take all the pressure off for socializing, or trying to get laid, or trying to be important. In other words, jerk off and watch Netflix for awhile, worry about climbing back up when you're ready.

Hunter2isit · 2016-02-29T21:13:41+00:00

Dude, when I was younger and fat I pulled a former Miss USA finalist. Don't be so quick to blame looks. You need to up the game but to do that you need to up your brain.

Ask yourself: why did you buy that car?

Izzenw · 2016-02-29T14:17:06+00:00

Do you have a dog?

demilitarizdsm · 2016-02-29T15:55:08+00:00

Lots of great suggestions here, I hope you find your way.

I didn't see one suggestion and it has worked for me to snap out of whole life patterns and ways of thinking. LSD or Psilocybin (Mushroom) trip with someone experienced in a good environment, I'd recommend in nature far from the city. Not mixed with other chemicals.

throwaway320_ · 2016-02-29T17:01:12+00:00

Would you date yourself in your current situation?

[deleted] · 2016-02-29T19:21:12+00:00

Braces phase sucks bro. I went through it, luckily at the age of 34 my adjustment only took 1.5 years. Once the came off, the world changed for me. I now smile and women and they smile back, thus creating my opening to know to approach.

Keep on trucking man, go try to find a sport to play casually with people to meet a circle of friends.

notgivefuck · 2016-02-29T19:28:01+00:00

your thoughts are just thoughts, don't believe all of them, especially with a depressed and anxious brain. I can relate to you, go hit a wall it does feel better. I picked up boxing, it helps. Just remember that this is a small part of your life, in no time things will be better.

BenOfMahogany · 2016-03-01T16:19:16+00:00

Yooo I noticed that you mentioned jerking off. Quit that shit.

Look up some nofap success stories. I started on that shit. Like a week deep and I'm already feeling my energy levels improving

Title	I had a panic attack today and walked out of work, I'm so fucking lonely, and I am doing everything everyone says.
Author
Upvotes	74
Comments	62
Date	29 February 2016 05:02 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	askTRP
Link	https://theredarchive.com/post/176
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/488hwv/i_had_a_panic_attack_today_and_walked_out_of_work/